Savannah Davies (jot_it_down) wrote in valesco,
@ 2008-09-07 22:27:00

Entry tags:

Sam
There was no way that this was going to go well.

As much as she wanted to believe that Sam would just say something like 'Congratulations!', she knew that was going to happen. Actually, she was sure that if she thought there was the slightest chance of that happening, she would be heartbroken when she got his actual reaction. Which wasn't going to be good. She could just feel it. Her stomach was in knots, and she kept pacing, telling herself to just breathe. It was hard though. Sam wasn't even there yet, and the coffee was still dripping down, and she had even ordered dinner incase he was hungry. She doubted he would be, but it wasn't like it would go to waste, right? Neither would any of the other things she had went out and bought earlier that day. Not that food was going to make things better, but it was a comfort thing. She was sure she’d need it later, anyway.

Rubbing her hands together, she let out a long breath, looking down at her left hand, which lacked the sapphire and diamond ring that she had recently acquired from Seth. She just…she wasn’t used to wearing it yet, and she didn’t want him to see it and figure it out before she had a chance to say anything. Not that it would be that big of a deal if she had gotten engaged first, but… this was more than that. This was much more than just an engagement.

Jumping about a foot in the air when she heard the knock on the door, she turned, straightened her blouse and walked over to where the knock had come from. Closing her eyes, she reassured herself that she would be alright, and turned the handle to open the door, seeing her twin brother standing there. She gave him a large smile, despite her nerves. “Hi, Sam.” God, it seemed like she never saw him anymore. Stepping forward, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and a hug that lasted a little bit longer than it usually would. Eventually, she pulled away and stepped to the side. “Come on in.”

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samuels
2008-09-08 04:16 am UTC (link)

Okay, so if Sam hadn't already been wary of whatever his sister wanted to tell him by her journal entry and the insisting to see him, the hug had him scared. Really scared. His twin sister, while a smart woman, did not always do things that portrayed that part of her, and he had a terrible, nagging feeling that whatever she had done that she wanted to talk to him about was going to be one of the worst yet.

He and Ally had already sat around for a good hour before he got there and debated about what it could be, and a terrified Sam was banking on 'pregnant'. Not that he wanted to think that way about his sister, but well, she was dating a Quidditch player, one who was (or at least used to be?--no one really knew) friends with Finn McLaggen, who was definitely not the best role model ever for how to do things right with your girlfriend, and---oy, okay, he needed to stop his mind before it went any further down that track, because he was going to drive himself mad.

But Merlin, he didn't think he was ready to be an uncle. Roger didn't need a cousin yet, as far as Sam was concerned.

Letting Savannah go, he promptly stuffed his hands in his pockets and caught her gaze, his expression no-nonsense. "Alright, what is it?"

Hell, why had he asked? He wasn't ready to know, he was sure.

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jot_it_down
2008-09-08 04:29 am UTC (link)

Her hands rose to tuck her hair behind her ears, gesturing for him to step inside before she closed the door behind him. “Do you want some coffee or something?” She was trying to avoid things, but knew that sooner or later she was going to have to just tell him.

Moving towards the kitchen, she went through the cabinets, taking out two mugs without even waiting for a response from him about whether or not he wanted any. For all she knew he could have already said no, but her mind was too clouded to process anything. The coffee had just finished dripping down, so she took the handle of the pot and started pouring. “You take sugar and cream, right? Or…was it sugar and no cream? Or was it cream and no sugar? It’s been so long, I can’t remember…” She shook her head to herself, still having her back to him as she began to fix their drinks. “So, how’s Roger?”

There was a very good possibility that she would keep changing the subject until she was forced into a corner to tell him what he had come there to talk about.

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samuels
2008-09-08 04:38 am UTC (link)

Had she just---ignored his question? Seriously? Sam blinked, following after Savannah a bit dumbly into the kitchen as he tried to stop the annoyance from seeping into him. It would just be a lot worse if he got annoyed with her now, and so he concentrated for a moment on breathing a couple deep breaths until he figured he could answer her without sounding on edge.

"No, no coffee," he muttered, just loud enough for her to hear him. He didn't need any caffeine right now, with the way his thoughts were already flying at a mile a minute.

"Actually, what I want more than anything for you to do is to turn around, stop talking about cream and sugar, and answer my question. Because the more you try and avoid the topic, the more I worry about what you're avoiding, and then the more crazy I get, so--do us both a favor, honestly." He stared intently at her back. "What's going on that you needed to talk to me about?"

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jot_it_down
2008-09-08 04:52 am UTC (link)

She froze for a moment before leaning her hands on the counter as she hung her head, swallowing roughly because of his request. Her eyes looked down into the dark, steaming hot liquid that she had just poured as her teeth began to chew at her bottom lip. “I-…”

She cleared her throat, raising a hand to push back her hair, she turned around to face him, but didn’t look at him right away. She just continued to bite at her lip before her eyes met his. “Just…just hold on, I need to get something.” Pushing off the counter, she moved past him and went into the bedroom that she shared with Seth. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she opened a drawer and pulled out the box that held her engagement ring. The matching wedding band was in the box as well, but she took that out and slipped it into her pocket. Rising to her feet, she played with the satin box before going back into the kitchen, handing Sam the box, moving back to the coffee to give herself something to do while he examined the ring.

“Seth proposed.” She said this bluntly, pouring some cream into her glass before she turned around and placed his down on the table, sipping at her own as she leaned her back against the counter. “It was…it was really sudden, but…he propsed.”

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samuels
2008-09-08 05:43 am UTC (link)

Sam's eyebrows arched high on his head, and his lips twitched up into a smile as relief flooded through him. "Wait--what?" he asked, incredulously, a little laugh to his voice. "Really?"

He couldn't believe it. Could it be possible that Seth Wadcock had actually asked Savannah to marry him? Meaning, was it possible that he was doing things with her the right way? Never mind for a moment that Sam still thought they had been together far too short a time for marriage to be coming up, this was still good. Far better than he had expected when she had first said that she was dating him, and especially when she said that she had something to talk about.

Sam reached out for the ring box and took it in his hand, mind glazing over the strangeness that was Savannah not wearing it, and then set it down on the counter. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. "I'm not sure I know what to say, Sav, I---congratulations!"

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jot_it_down
2008-09-08 06:13 am UTC (link)

Oh God, this was so much harder than she had anticipated. Especially because he was hugging her and sounding so happy for her. Maybe it would have been better if she just got everything off her chest at once. Maybe it would have been better if she hadn’t let him be so happy, only to make him angry moments later. Only to disappoint him, which was even worse.

She kept her arms around him, and shut her eyes, giving a sad excuse for a laugh as she held on tight to her brother. She was certain that this would be the last time she would get a hug from him until a long while after she told him everything else. “It’s…it’s pretty unbelievable, I know…but…there’s more.” She said all of this while she was hugging him, but knew that she had to pull away eventually. Once again, she swallowed roughly, already feeling a knot form in her throat. “The engagement didn’t…it didn’t last long.” She rose her hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear again, shaking her head as she momentarily closed her eyes and tried to gather her words. “It wasn’t because of anything bad, it’s not…it’s not like we broke up or anything, that’s not what I meant, I mean-…” Her eyes moved away from him, focused on the tiles between them, her shoulders slumped as she cleared her throat. “I mean…we’re…we’re already married…” Even though it was the hardest thing to do, her eyes met his. “It just happened…”

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samuels
2008-09-08 07:55 pm UTC (link)

She might have done better to have just slapped him in the face.

Sam's shoulders, having been relaxed for a short, wonderful moment, now tensed again as she finished her explanation. An explanation that was a whole load of crap as far as he was concerned, because---how could she have---was she even serious right then?

He felt the anger overtake him in a sudden rush, and didn't care enough to try this time and stop it. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, knuckles going white with the force (he was at least trying to not break anything), and found very suddenly that he could not stand to look at his sister. It was anger, but more than that he was hurt, upset that she would go off and elope and not--not even mention it to him. Even if he wasn't there--which was a whole other bone that he had to pick with her--at least she could have said something, a little 'oh hey Sam, since you're my twin brother and all, I figured I'd let you know that I'm getting married .' Anything would have been better than this.

"Oh, really badly handled, Savannah," he finally said, his voice tight. Yeah, he was pissed off, and he didn't care if she knew it. She deserved him to be screaming his head off at her.

Sam pushed himself off the counter sharply, at the same time shoving the ring box back at her. "I'm so glad you decided to tell me, though. So glad, you know, to know that you didn't give enough of a shit to tell me until after the fact. I mean, we only shared a womb and grew up together--why in the world would you want me at your wedding, or even tell me you were going to run off and elope in the first place?"

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jot_it_down
2008-09-09 09:20 pm UTC (link)

Even though she had been expecting nothing different, that didn’t mean it hurt any less to hear the words come out of his mouth. That didn’t mean it didn’t break her heart to see her brother so upset over something she had done. And this wasn’t something small to be angry over. This was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done. Or, well it was handled in a stupid manner.

“Sam-…” She tried to get a word in, but before she could she was reaching out to grab the box that he had just shoved back at her. She held it between her palms, eyes wide as he yelled at her, spitting sarcastic remarks in her direction. As soon as he was done speaking it was Savannah’s turn to speak, and even though she knew that nothing she said was going to make things right, she just couldn’t keep her mouth shut. “I did want you there, God damn it! I wanted you there more than anything, but I just-…” she couldn’t even form a sentence, because her thoughts were too muddled. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m sorry for not having you there, I’m sorry for not telling you before hand, but this wasn’t something we planned out! We didn’t sit and talk about getting eloped for days, we didn’t write anything out, we didn’t even have vows! We just went, a-and we just…we did it. And even though I’m miserable right now because I know how angry you are with me, I know that me and Seth are going to be happy. I know that marrying him wasn’t a mistake, even if how we went about doing it was. I can’t even imagine what you’re thinking right now, and I don’t think I want to, and I can’t make you understand this, but…”

She stopped, moving a hand up to wipe some of the tears that had fallen. He’d probably think it was stupid for her to be crying, but this really was hurting her. “I’m sorry…”

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samuels
2008-09-10 12:33 am UTC (link)

Sam wasn't listening to anything that she was saying---it didn't make a fucking bit of sense anyway, because she had no possible way to defend her actions. And it was another hot slap in the face to know that she was trying to justify what she'd done. Like there was really anything okay about this at all---

No, he didn't need to hear this, and he didn't need to be seeing her right now. Fuck it all, he needed a drink.

Sam ran his hands through his hair and then brought them down quickly, waving at her to just--shut up. "Sorry doesn't cut it, Savannah," he spat. "It doesn't even begin to cut it, I---I'm done with this, I can't even be in the same room as you right now--" He gave her one last look, then scoffed and shook his head before pulling out his wand and Apparating away without another word.

Bullshit. This was complete and utter bullshit.

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