106.1 B-L-IIIIIIIIIIII


Giada: ...and that was 'Ring my Bell' by Anita Ward. I have a feeling we're going to be hearing a lot of that one this summer! Anywhoo--Jimmy Speelers is out this week with the flu, so here with me now is our ever adorable intern and the best gosh-darn-coffee-getter in the entire United Kingdom, Graeme-the-man-Dorny.

Excuse the corny nickname, it was short notice--oh, maybe you should be Corny Dorny. Hm?

Graeme: First of all, I would like to say that yes...yes, I am adorable. And I am quite good at getting coffee. It's a gift I've been blessed with, and I hold it close to my heart. Second of all, I think I kind of like any sort of nickname that can be used with my name that doesn't sound like it'll give you a diabetic coma.

Giada: We could hold a contest, you know. Name that DJ! We could even put your face on a gigantic billboard in the middle of London so people could be inspired by not only your voice but by the true vision that is DJ...Blank. DJ Blank. For now. Imagine an underscore instead of the word 'blank.' See, a visual variable would help our situation greatly.

Graeme: Haha! I can't even imagine the sort of things people would come up with. But, I should warn you that any names like Graeme Cracker, Teddy Graeme, Golden Graeme, or...anything like that will be ignored and shunned. Shunned, I say!

Giada: All right, there you go---give us a call if you've got any ideas about what DJ Blank's official moniker should be! In other news; holy moley, this weather! I was sure I was going to melt out on the sidewalk today.

Graeme: Well, Giada, it's funny you should say that because...I did melt out on the sidewalk today. Yeah, seriously, I was just walking along and...splat. Sudden meltage. And, if you don't know, splat is in fact the official noise of something melting. While some people may think it sounds something like squish or schloop, it is definitely a splat.

Giada: Who doesn't know that? A 'schloop' is when you try to suck up the last of your slushie drink with the straw that isn't cut at the right angle, and 'squish' is when your ice cream cone begins to melt and your grip is too hard and---squish. My favorite summer sound it 'criiitch,' though.

Graeme: You'd think everyone would know about the splat situation, but sadly, there are people walking around out there who don't. And...I think you should inform our listeners of what situations cause the 'criiitch' sound, because some people don't know about that. I know, it's depressing, but people need to be informed.

Giada: It's the sound your skin makes when you try to peel it off of leather furniture.

Graeme: Exactly. Personally, my favorite noise of the summer is "aaauauuuagh!".

Giada: Is that what you're supposed to shout when you're tossing and turning because no matter how little you wear or how many fans you've got pointing directly at you, you're still hot?

I think we could probably make noise buttons out of these onomatopoeias.

Graeme: No, no, that sounds more like an "EERRGH!". "Aauuuagh!" is when you step outside and you aren't wearing shoes and the pavement is reaaallly really hot, and then you jump about a foot in the air and have to do a weird, dance like move while you're trying to get your mail.

We should.

Giada: ...Graeme. I...do not even know what to say. You're special? Yes?

But---save it for our next break. DJ Blank, would you do the honors of introducing the next song?

Graeme: I'm...not sure if that was a compliment or not.

Of course. Our next song is a personal favorite of mine...Come Sail Away, by Styx! Styx is awesome.

Giada: ...That's what I hear! This song is brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray!

Graeme: And when we get back, we'll talk more about how special I am.