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Name: Crescent City Institute
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Crescent City Institute -
06:40 pm May 9th, 2011
mightbeclever
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Characters: Leon, Michi, Rowan
Setting: Leon's dorm room, after dinner.
Rating: SFW? Language, saddness for ages.
Content: Michi comes to sit and cry on Leon after finding out the news. But when he doesn't show up at the service, she and Rowan have to go find him. Leon feels a bit blank, after is- 'oh, I get it now'.

Leon sat on his bed, staring down at a box of pictures of him and Addy. She danced about in most of the images, twirling about as if the earlier news couldn't possibly be true. Heh. Figured she'd do something stupid like that too, and then not tell him. Not even her parents.

He'd opted out of the service, he'd even opted out of dinner for that matter. There was only so much crying from everyone he could take, and why should they cry? She took the easy fucking way out, like a stupid little...

She took the easy fucking way out, and how many times had hedged toward that same road?

Scrubbing his face he got out of his bed, barely pausing as the box thumped off the side and onto the floor with a loud smack. "Fucking bitch," he muttered, scowling a bit as he fished out a bottle of Sailor Jerry's from his bag. "I'm not fucking playing your stupid game. Are you happy now? Haaa, you win, everyone is miserable." Stupid, fucking...GAH. He hated her. Every fiber in his body twisted into knots as his hands shook, his jaw clenching up as moved to his computer only to abort the attempt half way there.

He wanted to sit, and pace. He wanted to go somewhere, and didn't want to move an inch from where way was. Everything was normal, and yet it wasn't. Nothing made sense to him, not even his own thoughts as he danced around what he wanted to do with himself. It was as if every nerve was jumping at the chance to expend energy, but he didn't know how to get ride of it. It was stupid.

"Fuck this, and fuck you Adelaide." He said angrily, moving to his door and throwing it open just as Michi raised her hand to knock. That was unexpected, especially with Rowan in her company. "....Hi."

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Thread started by Michiko Anna Passos
gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 9th, 2011 10:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
Michi's breath caught in her throat when Leon threw open the door. She tried to talk but words failed her, tears stinging at her eyes. She needed to be the strong one right now. She swallowed hard and reached out to take Leon's hand. "Hi," she said quietly.
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 9th, 2011 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Rowan had seen that Leon wasn't there at the service, had seen that Michi was heading over toward the Sonnier dorm, and pieced things together pretty easily. So she tagged along.

She wasn't really sure why she felt the need to go see Leon, except that she was sure that he was hurting and she wanted to try and help him. Especially knowing what she did. So when Leon opened the door, and Michi automatically went to take his hand, she hung back a little bit.

"...Hi."
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mightbeclever From: [info]mightbeclever Date: May 9th, 2011 11:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Leon let Michi take his hand, even as he swallowed a little. He didn't want to deal with tears. If he'd wanted to sit with people in tears, he would have gone to the stupid service, right?

"....You guys want to come in?" He said a bit numbly, waving them into the room with the bottle of rum. "Want a drink?" After all, what else did someone say to teary-eyed women? "I don't have cups." Which was a lie, he did. But it seemed too much work to go digging them out in moments like this.

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gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 9th, 2011 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
She gave his hand a little squeeze and nodded, following him into the room. Fuck rules, she was sad. "I could use a few shots," she said quietly. "Need something to take the fuckin' edge off," she sniffled once.

She wasn't going to cry, nope, not yet.
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 9th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Rowan came in as well. For her part, Rowan looked as normal as she ever did. Just on the sad side. There were things she needed to deal with about this for herself, but there were too many other people who knew Addy far, far better than she did who were hurting from this and might need her.

Not that she really thought Leon needed her.

"No, thank you." Rowan spoke quietly, and moved behind Michi, feeling a little awkward since she wasn't really sure what to say. She just knew she felt like she should try to talk to him.
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mightbeclever From: [info]mightbeclever Date: May 10th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Leon nodded, kicking the door shut behind them as he moved back into the room with the girls. Well, this was unexpected. For a moment all he could do was stand there, before pulling his hand free and unscrewing the cap on the bottle. Taking a swig, he passed it on to Michi with a humorless sort of smile.

"So..." this was awkward. This feelings thing was awkward, and then of course some people needed to talk about it. What was there to say? She'd topped herself to make them feel miserable; well good job on that, hats off to her.

Job well done.

"Did you want to talk?" He asked blandly, indicating that they could sit. His room wasn't as neat and orderly as it had been at the start of the year, but it was a touch worse now. His clothing was tossed here and there, his bags still mostly packed, but disorganized. It was, in a since, a tiny room of chaos.
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gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 10th, 2011 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Michi steeled herself and accepted the bottle, taking a swig and wincing a touch. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real. It was like one of those terrible dreams, any second now that alarm would go off and that bitch would finally text her back. But there was that pain in her chest and that was very real. Her hands were shaking when she passed the bottle back to Leon.

"Just... wanted to see you," her lips quivered slightly, a nasty lurching feeling in her stomach. "This whole thing is fucked."
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 10th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC) (Link)
"I just wanted to see you too. Make sure you weren't being... that stupid." She knew Leon had a penchant for things that were less than helpful to him, and didn't want to think of him going the same way...

"And to let you know that you have friends here who want to be with you." She paused a moment, not sitting, but still standing up by the door. He doesn't want me here... I should just let him be with Michi... "And I wanted to say... you have my sympathies. The both of you." The words were heartfelt and sincere.
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mightbeclever From: [info]mightbeclever Date: May 10th, 2011 01:03 am (UTC) (Link)
"You mean topping myself like some fuck?" He commented bitterly. He almost kicked something out of his way, before realize it was his laptop leaned against his bags. Stepping over it, he moved a little away from the girls, taking a healthy drink before handing the bottle off to Michi again.

"I know," he said a little bit more gently, before looking back at Rowan. He didn't not want her in the room, as much as he didn't want her around. It was more like he wasn't sure what he wanted. Nothing made sense today, at least not for him. "Thanks," he murmured, before tripping over his bags and he moved to her again. This time, though, he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug...as if that could make everything better.
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gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 10th, 2011 01:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Michi gladly accepted the bottle and took a big swig. She gave Rowan's hand a little squeeze at what she said, it was nice to have a level headed friend around.

She stepped aside when Leon hugged Rowan and went to move some of his things around, having noticed his stumbling. Michi moved his bags and scooted some clothes under his bed. She stooped down and picked up a box that had been on the floor but she didn't have the best grip on it, as she stood it went tumbling to the floor.

Michi dropped to her knees quickly to pick it all up before Leon noticed but she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. Seeing a box full of Addy pictures just put her over the edge and she lost all control she had. She felt sick, trying not to ball as she picked up the pictures and shoved them back into the box hurriedly. "You stupid bitch," she said angrily.
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 10th, 2011 01:29 am (UTC) (Link)
When Leon came over to her, she looked at him with every emotion plain on her face. Not the least of which was concern. As he moved to hug her tightly, she quietly said, "You're welcome, Leon."

As her arms went around him to hug him back, she tried to say without words everything that she could think of. Her concern for him, her sorrow that he was hurting, her determination to help. Mostly just friendship and a willingness to be there for him. She closed her eyes and let out a breath, holding onto him tighter. As if that could make everything better.

Michi's exclamation startled her a little, and she turned her head toward whatever that noise was and opened her eyes to see what had happened. Not that she really could, being shorter than Leon.
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mightbeclever From: [info]mightbeclever Date: May 10th, 2011 01:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Leon pulled away when he heard Michi exclaim, turning to look at her with a bit of a surprise before moving over to where she was on the floor. "Just leave it alone." He said, dropping down to a knee and starting to snatch up the pictures.

"Stop it, just fucking leave them right there." He snapped, "she isn't worth it! She left us..." Or rather, she left Michi. She left her friends. What right did he had to claim her as his friend? Or boyfriend, or fuck did it matter.

"Stop it! Don't fucking cry over that bitch!"
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gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 10th, 2011 02:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Hands still shaking and flustered she dropped the pictures she was holding and sucked in a breath of air sharply. "Fuck," she flung her arms around his shoulders. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"I failed, I fucked up," she pressed her eyes closed, trying to stop the tears from flowing but she couldn't stop.

"I just didn't want you to trip anymore, you were stumbling around over all your stuff and I didn't want you to fall and get hurt," she tried to explain.
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 11th, 2011 11:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Once Leon pulled away and she could see that they were pictures, and given the content of what he and Michi were saying, Rowan figured out pretty quickly that they had to be pictures of Addy.

She went over quietly, and without tripping over anything, and knelt on the floor, picking up pictures gently to start to put them back in the box they had come from, regardless of Leon's statement to leave them where they were. He would want them somewhere he could find them. Later.

"It's alright. I got it." While Michi threw her arms around Leon, Rowan moved to straighten up the pictures, as well as anything else that she could safely clean up a little without annoying Leon or seeing anything he might not want her to see.
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mightbeclever From: [info]mightbeclever Date: May 11th, 2011 03:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Leon just sat there, not ready to hug Michi back as she tried to explain, as she shouldered all the responsibility for Adelaide's death on her own. It wasn't her fucking fault, so why did she keep turning everything about as if it was? He watched Rowan with a clenched jaw, hands slowly going up to Michi's wrist...

"Get the fuck over it," he snapped harshly, hands clenching a little before he let go to reach for the bottle of rum instead. "She's a fucking twat. She is a cowardly twat that..."

He trailed off as he pulled away from Michi to stand, lifting the bottle to his lips for yet one more drink. "She fucking planned this shit out, and didn't care about you or anyone else. So why the fuck are you crying? Why the fuck do you feel like you failed? You didn't fail Michi. You didn't do anything. It was all her! She was the miserable bitch of a friend..."

And maybe he was just too angry to acknowledge his own feelings of guilt. If anyone carried more blame for what happened, he did didn't he? He'd ruined her life, taken her virginity, then hid from her like some coward because 'oh, I'm gay' seemed like a badge of shame. And that was the rub, wasn't it? She was six feet under because he was gay, and if he hadn't been, she'd be sat on his bed right now talking about how stupid this class or that class was.

He could have made her happy.

"Fuck this, fuck her, and fuck all this mourning and crying shit. She isn't worth it!" He scowled, moving to his door to fling it open. Stepping out into the all, he took a deep breath before bellowing loudly, "Fuck that fucking cunt! Fuck Addy."
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gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 11th, 2011 04:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
She knew he was going to do something like this, he was going to be angry and there was no stopping him. Though, no matter how much she had prepared herself for it she couldn't stop from crying. Anger hadn't reared it's ugly head in her yet. She shook her head. "I don't... I can't... don't do this Leon," she said trying to furiously wipe the tears from her face. "I didn't do anything, that's the problem. I should have been there, said something, I didn't know."

She clumsily stood and staggered a bit but she couldn't reach him. Not right now, not even if she tried. He deserved to be angry, she had left them and the guilt... it was too much. She looked to Rowan, her face strained and tear streaked and took the other girl's hand. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "It's my fault," she whispered.

She looked out to Leon, covering her mouth, trying to hold back a strangled cry. It killed her to see him in so much pain and all she could do was watch him, like she had watched Addy. "He doesn't mean that," she said to Rowan and to herself. "He doens't mean a word of it."
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 12th, 2011 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Rowan looked from Leon to Michi. Walking out to Leon first, she tried to bring him back into the room, making sure that there weren't any faculty members of busybody students in the hall at the moment. Thankfully there weren't, and she could try and lead Leon gently inside. Once accomplished, she closed the door gently behind them.

Still with a hand on his arm, she looked to Michi. "Michi... this is not your fault. There was nothing that anyone could have done to stop this, even if we all knew she was thinking about it ahead of time. If she was that determined, she would have found a way." And she looked to Leon beside her, but still spoke to Michi. "And he does mean it. He has every right to mean it. Just like you have every right to be upset in your own way."

She sounded callous to herself, especially given the powerful emotions in the room and the fact that she was being rather rational still. Was she some kind of evil heartless bitch? Should she be crying and carrying on? She didn't know. All she knew was that she wanted to try to get the two of them calmed down before she left. And she knew that she did need to leave. There were too many thoughts in her head for her to not be affected by everything they said.

But that was for a later point in time.
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mightbeclever From: [info]mightbeclever Date: May 13th, 2011 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Leon let her bring him back into the room. He stood in the middle of the room, scowling a little at both of them before turning to throw himself in his chair. He took a long drag from the bottom, slamming it down on the desk when he was finished.

"Not to, uh, sound rude...but I would really like to just be alone right now." He said finally, without looking at either of them. "I don't want company."

He just wanted to be drunk, or high...both.
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gimmeskittles From: [info]gimmeskittles Date: May 14th, 2011 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
All she could do was nod. It was just too much, it was too new a wound to try and reason it out. She just kept nodding. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice quiet and broken. "I'm just sorry."

"Thank you Ro," she said turning to the other girl. She shuffled out the room without anymore fight and made her way to the room next door, letting herself in Gael's room.
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cabotine From: [info]cabotine Date: May 15th, 2011 02:28 am (UTC) (Link)
She didn't want to leave him like this. Really, really didn't. "O-ok. Please, Leon... if you need us..." She tried to even find the words, but nothing was really coming to mind.

Murmuring to Michi that it was no problem, that she didn't do anything, she looked again to Leon before moving to the door. "I'll be around if... you... um." And she slipped out the door, lower lip between her teeth and wondering what on earth she could do.
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