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you hear it first. ([info]thenewstoday) wrote,
@ 2013-08-12 17:42:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:tattler

The TATTLER!

Let’s do a run down of our All-Star Hosts, the Falmouth Falcons!

What’s up with MICHAL CONWAY LYNCH? Our favorite surly, square-jawed bad boy of Falmouth has been looking down and out for the past few weeks. Miserable that you haven’t been named captain yet? Still broken-hearted over the abrupt break-up from the blue-eyed beauty? We’re going with the latter, as the little french boy that sucker punched you at the All-Star FanFest has those same blue eyes! Sacrebleu!



When asked about this display, Lynch continued his trainwreck of a bad-attitude by shoving down our photographers! We were just trying to get a scoop, Michal! Stop the violence!


Lynch isn’t the only Falcon to have an interesting time during that star-studded weekend. SETH WADCOCK was spotted having a heart to heart with an old flame---we here at the Tattler like to keep some mystery in our stories, but let’s just say this MVP of a lady’s name had a bit of a ring to it. Wedding ring, that is!


ANYA KALLINIKOV is not only taking on the hard test of dealing with these Badmouth Falcons, but she’s also been spotted taking another kind of test---one that, if positive, takes about nine months to reap the reward! The female Falcon was spotted at an apothecary picking out not one, but four versions of a pregnancy test! Need to make sure it’s accurate, right?


Our new precious of precious couples HOWELL WILLIAMS and SAOIRSE MULLET of the Arrows looked, well, precious as they worked the floor of the fanfest! Oh, we can’t stand it! When are you two making it official? We’re betting on Howell to be the first Falcon down the aisle!


Just look at how happy Howell is!



---Well, let’s not get too hasty! VINNY GUDGEON and WWN Star GLENDA CHITTOCK are the absolute epitome of a beautiful, loving couple! Why can’t everyone be as happy as this golden couple? Vinny was spotted at a jewelery store earlier this week, so maybe they will beat Howell and Saoirse down the aisle!


And last but not least there’s the quiet one, WILLIAM BEXLEY. Bexley was spotted talking it up to one of the celebrity game participants, the pretty cursebreaker LARKIN WHITBY. Entranced by her tales of adventure and treasure hunts? We sure are! Go William! We’ve been waiting for you to do something other than go to practice and go straight home!


¤¤¤¤¤¤



All right, enough with those Falcons! Let’s see what the rest of the world is up to:



THOMAS MCCORMACK the seemingly perpetual bachelor, has announced his desire to be married and have children! Our sources at the WWN offices tell us that a dating game program is in the development, and that McCormack is all for it! Get your resumes ready, ladies! He tends to go for blondes!


Starting interviews for the future Mrs. McCormack!



CHARLIE SPINNET and ROSE KNIGHTLEY are still going strong! They stood next to each other at the FanFest for nearly ten minutes and the tension was painful (they even wore matching flower crowns, that Knightley made for everyone participating in the event!). Knightley later emerged from a back room with the tell-tale signs of a love-bite on her neck, and Spinnet? Well, he was nowhere to be found! Gotcha!



Overheard in Kestrel Stadium: Someone’s engaged! Could it be that AXE BROOKSTANTON is finally settling down? His hair was rather tousled before his appearance at a Q & A panel during All-Star weekend, indicating that this once solo-flying bird might be building a nest of his own! He has been looking rather chipper lately! Maybe even rosie in the cheeks?




Okay, you can’t fool us ANDREA JOHNSON! There is a bloke in your life and we don’t like secrets! Who is this mystery man? What’s wrong with him that you’re not showing him off? Does he have two heads? Warts? DOES HE PLAY FOR THE CANNONS?



KATE PEAKES! We don’t care what you’re telling Witch ‘Weak’ly. You have gone MAD AND WE HATE IT! GROW BACK THAT HAIR THIS INSTANT! You were a role model to all redheads, and look what you’ve gone and done!

And to show our sadness, here is a memorial to Kate’s long lost locks:




Why so lonesome, GEOFFREY BRAND? Your late night strolls are leading us to believe that not all is well in the supposedly perfect life of the Brand Family! I wonder if MAGGIE MATTIAS has anything to say about it?





(Post a new comment)


[info]jot_it_down
2013-08-12 07:53 pm UTC (link)
Every reporter who works for this magazine needs to go die in a fire.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]wadcock
2013-08-13 03:44 am UTC (link)
Well this certainly brings back memories.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]jot_it_down
2013-08-13 10:58 am UTC (link)
Too many.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]gillant
2013-08-12 08:06 pm UTC (link)
I wasn't sure how to break the news to my teammates... I might as well get it over with now, since it has been brought up.

I am to give birth to an imaginary baby next April. Me and its non-existent father are very excited. I expect to be showered with gifts and congratulations.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Anya
[info]hollyharpie
2013-08-12 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Oy, I'm sorry. I hate this rag.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Holly
[info]gillant
2013-08-12 09:32 pm UTC (link)
No need to apologize. I was going to let them think what they will, if only because it would be amusing to see how many wizards would try to come forward to say they were the father.

Though it would truly be a miracle if I were pregnant. It has been at least 4 months.

What was the outcome of the potions, by the way?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Anya - [info]hollyharpie, 2013-08-12 10:48 pm UTC
Holly - [info]gillant, 2013-08-12 11:20 pm UTC

[info]maggiepie
2013-08-12 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Don't be rude to Kate, she's more aerodynamic this way.

(Reply to this)


[info]obtineo
2013-08-12 09:37 pm UTC (link)
I can only imagine what kind of resumes you'll be receiving for this highly sought after position, Thomas. How will you ever be able to pick just one?

Skills include being able to walk and chew bubblegum at the same time.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]thomases
2013-08-13 12:29 pm UTC (link)
Chewing bubblegum is a vital sign of fertitlity, you know.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]obtineo
2013-08-13 01:05 pm UTC (link)
So you're looking for a girl who is fertile and mobile?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thomases, 2013-08-13 02:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]obtineo, 2013-08-13 02:19 pm UTC

[info]mattias
2013-08-13 12:53 am UTC (link)
Is Tattler trying to insinuate that my wife is having a secret affair with her brother, Geoffrey Brand?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]maggiepie
2013-08-13 12:22 pm UTC (link)
Adrian.

[ADRIAN] There's something I do need to tell you, just get your mind out of the gutter. [/ADRIAN]

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]mattias
2013-08-13 01:47 pm UTC (link)
That is what it sounds like!

[MAGGIE] What is it? [MAGGIE]

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Adrian - [info]maggiepie, 2013-08-13 02:06 pm UTC
Maggie - [info]mattias, 2013-08-14 02:12 pm UTC
Adrian - [info]maggiepie, 2013-08-16 12:33 am UTC
Maggie - [info]mattias, 2013-08-16 04:18 am UTC
Adrian - [info]maggiepie, 2013-08-16 11:43 pm UTC

[info]flower
2013-08-13 03:11 am UTC (link)
The tension was painful because it is difficult to--

I am not dating Charlie Spinnet.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kjbroadmoor
2013-08-13 04:58 am UTC (link)
Of course you're not, Charlie plays Quidditch. We all know you are dating a Quodpot player.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]flower
2013-08-13 02:08 pm UTC (link)
I would rather not discuss my private life in such a public forum.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kjbroadmoor, 2013-08-13 03:49 pm UTC

[info]cockaigne
2013-08-13 03:13 am UTC (link)
THOMAS can I be the host of your wife search program?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]thomases
2013-08-13 12:34 pm UTC (link)
As long as there's a lot of glitter.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]cockaigne
2013-08-13 01:49 pm UTC (link)
You got it, quidditch's most eligible bachelor.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]conways
2013-08-13 03:21 am UTC (link)
[LARKIN] I don't know that you are or aren't playing at but you---

you know what


My face is fine, thank you for asking.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]llewellyns
2013-08-13 12:34 pm UTC (link)
I was very concerned about your glorious face, Michal Conway.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]conways, 2013-08-13 01:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]llewellyns, 2013-08-13 02:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]conways, 2013-08-13 02:22 pm UTC
Michal - [info]llewellyns, 2013-08-13 02:24 pm UTC
Carys - [info]conways, 2013-08-13 02:26 pm UTC
Michal - [info]llewellyns, 2013-08-13 05:53 pm UTC
Carys - [info]conways, 2013-08-14 04:14 pm UTC

[info]kjbroadmoor
2013-08-13 03:42 am UTC (link)
A bit rosie in the cheeks? You don't say.

I'm sort of sad to have missed out playing with a chipper Axe.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]flower
2013-08-13 03:51 pm UTC (link)
KENDALL

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kjbroadmoor, 2013-08-13 03:57 pm UTC
KENDALL - [info]flower, 2013-08-13 03:59 pm UTC
Rose - [info]kjbroadmoor, 2013-08-13 04:03 pm UTC
KENDALL - [info]flower, 2013-08-14 04:20 pm UTC
Rose - [info]kjbroadmoor, 2013-08-14 04:44 pm UTC
Kendall - [info]flower, 2013-08-14 04:48 pm UTC
Rose - [info]kjbroadmoor, 2013-08-14 04:55 pm UTC
Kendall - [info]flower, 2013-08-14 05:01 pm UTC

[info]dinglehopper
2013-08-13 11:33 pm UTC (link)
More than one someone on the Kestrels is engaged, as it were.

(Reply to this)


[info]feminist
2013-08-13 11:42 pm UTC (link)
I'm quite enjoying that the Tattler can't figure out my secret. And I'll be keeping it for the time being, thank you.

(Reply to this)




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