STAR QUIDDITCH PLAYER'S TRAGIC PARENTAGE
The dish on celebrities' pasts is always juicy til the last drop! Every good fan is simply dying to know what their favourite icon was like as a rambunctious little tyke. However, some people in the limelight are a little more hush-hush about their terrible twos, threes, and teens than others! Certainly, AXEBANGER has always painted the picture of an idly rich middle son, throwing away family fortune for the siren call of professional Quidditch! But there's no need to be coy, Axebanger!

It was revealed to The Tattler that Brookstanton, birth-name Rupert Thierry Weiss, was actually born to a Muggle mistress with hardly any reputable means of supporting herself. Hooked on all the atrocities Muggles concoct for themselves, Marie-Alix still struggled to support herself and her young son before dying tragically of a Muggle illness, leaving Axebanger all alone at the tender age of six! What of his birth father? No name was listed for the father on the birth certificate, but it is well-known that Axebanger's "father" is the successful industrialist, Robert Brookstanton.

"Oh, he is, but Robert did not want to acknowledge his bastard son, of course," a long-time friend of the family divulged to us. "It was his wife that convinced him, because it would be worse if people found out, and they hadn't done anything." Shortly after Rupert was taken in by the Brookstantons, the family moved communes and began passing off Axebanger as their own son. How heart-warming! Although… there remains no name listed for the father on his birth certificate, nor any official adoption papers filed. Poor little Axebanger, still an orphan after all these years!

But what a rags-to-riches story, considering the Kenmare Kestrels' surprise league victory last season! Surely he must be an inspiration for us all, considering his humble beginnings. Well, some disagree.

"It's disappointing he's ignored the charitable causes he could support because of his background, and lied about it instead," says a representative for a popular local children's charity. "There is a real lack of awareness for these problems because of wizards like him."

We can't resist mentioning that one or two writers on staff were just a trifle hurt by these revelations! "It's like he doesn't trust his fans to support him! Ever after everything!" says feature writer Millie Blodkin, a tearful (former?) fan, before adding, "Although it explains his meltdown a little better, owing to the drugs and insanity. He's got them in his blood!"

Axebanger could not be reached for comment, but please know that no matter what the backlash, most of us here at the Tattler are and probably always will be staunch supporters of your career!