staturity (staturity) wrote,
@ 2009-07-26 21:38:00

Flashback: About five years ago
Cassie willed herself not to reach for the phone the moment she and Kristoff were home (or rather her apartment). She hated leaving Scotty, even if he was with her father, even if she would go crazy if she had to watch him constantly with no breaks, even if she wanted to spend time with Kristoff. It wasn't just that Scotty was her baby, it was because he was his baby too. And he might want him. It was a fear that never went away.

Kristoff, though, was doing a wonderful job keeping her distracted and focused on him.

It was a very nice change of pace.

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	discardedheir 2009-07-27 04:41 am UTC (link)
	After a kiss, Kristoff pulled away just a little, still close, looking into her eyes earnestly. "Cassandra? I have been thinking..." Truth be told, he'd been thinking about this for more than a year. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	staturity 2009-07-27 04:57 am UTC (link)
	"Yes?" Cassie really wished she could say 'less thinking, more kissing' but she'd done more than enough of that before. Somewhere in the back of her mind, alarm bells started to sound. But this was Kristoff; he thought about a lot of things, even when he maybe shouldn't. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	discardedheir 2009-07-27 05:07 am UTC (link)
	"I love you," he says earnestly. "I love you very much, and I want to stay with you, and to help you take care of Scotty, and I want to do it properly." And even while saying the last part, he's sinking to his knees and getting the ring out of his pocket. "Cassandra, please be my wife?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

staturity
2009-07-27 05:25 am UTC (link)

Oh no. Oh no he didn't. He didn't.

As hard as she tried to keep her expression calm, Cassie looked not so much appalled as shocked in a bad way. "Kristoff..." Oh she'd been afraid he would do this but she didn't think he would. And now she had no idea what to say. Whatever it was, she knew it was going to break his heart.

"I love you. I love you so much but I'm not ready."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	discardedheir 2009-07-27 05:40 am UTC (link)
	Still looking up at her, he freezes momentarily as the hopeful look in his eyes goes out at her expression. When she says it, his eyes finally close and his face lowers. "I...I see," he finally manages to get out. "Perfectly understandable." He slipped the ring back into his pocket, and slowly got to his feet. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	staturity 2009-07-27 05:47 am UTC (link)
	Oh God, she felt terrible. Cassie reached for Kristoff's hands. "I really love you and I wouldn't mind one day... but I'm 21 and-" And she should really shut up before she made things worse. "I'm just not ready." She finished softly. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

discardedheir
2009-07-27 06:02 am UTC (link)

He takes her hand at first, but then lets go when he realizes his are starting to shake.

It's hard to listen to her, to focus on what she's saying, but he tries.
He wants to hear what she's saying and not the little voice inside that's already trying to tell him that she'd probably have been ready for Nate.
"Of course," he says quietly. "Behaving 'too old for my age' again, I suppose." No, trying to speak lightly won't work; he can't force a smile. Not even a little. "Please...please excuse me. I need to go home now. I will call."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	staturity 2009-07-27 06:11 am UTC (link)
	"Kris..." Cassie wanted to cry. "Please-" Don't leave. "I'm sorry." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	discardedheir 2009-07-27 06:24 am UTC (link)
	"You have no need to apologize. I wish this conversation had gone differently, but..." He swallows. "I will be all right. Please do not worry. I simply have to go home now. I... love you." And he turned to go. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	staturity 2009-07-27 06:32 am UTC (link)
	She wanted to stop him. She wanted to put her arms around him. She wanted to have been able to say yes. Instead Cassie let him leave. And then she broke into tears. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	discardedheir 2009-07-27 06:43 am UTC (link)
	After...some use of a handkerchief -- the trip home was short, but not short enough -- Kristoff's expression was masklike as he walked into the Baxter Building and went up to his lab. There, trying in vain to assure himself it wasn't a question of Not Being Good Enough Again, he finally let things out for real. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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