Current mood:	bitchy
Current music:	Bathory - - > The Wheel Of The Sun

-o3-
When the need to be morbid takes hold of me thats when the gloves come off. NOT sure what I want too say anymore, being just a means for sex is becoming mind numbing and my feelings are lacking in presentation. I want out! But I don't know if I can. The sex with him(James) is great, I'd love to keep it around, but there's only so much of nothing I can hang onto. Mydecision too stop my mediction isn't working and I feel I need too start them again, before things get too out of control and I do something stupid I might regret later. Though the best things can be accomplished in my time of needthe spur of a moment. Admitting defeat in this case won't mean I'm weak, just means I could no longer hold onto what wasn't meant to be.

I don't know what my intentions are yet, if I ever know> I jus feel I can no longer go on with this charade. There's got to be a change and it starts with me