'77 Slytherins welcome their newest addition.
Who: '77 Slytherins (Caradoc Dearborn, Emmet Belby, Mackenzie Goldstein, Matilda Rowle, Alecto Carrow, Orpheus Travers and Evan Rosier)
What: Emmet has a baby!
Where: Emmet's flat.
Why: EMMET HAS A BABY.
Rating: PG-13 for cursing.

Okay--- there was no actual way that Emmet was an actual father, now. Randomly out of the blue, just because Avery simply dropped the little bugger off at his flat. It was really-- Caradoc stopped for a second, mind speeding to figure out who the kid could really belong to. Or belonged to. And why they would keep it alive. Better yet, why give it to Emmet of all people? Not that his friend was exactly wrong for the job but, that was a very trustworthy thing they were putting on him.

They trusted him this much at that point? Caradoc snapped his journal shut (everyone was aware, and coming) standing outside Emmet's door for a few more seconds. Well, this wasn't so much of a total trust thing as a Emmet was one of the few Death Eaters that won the contest of being the least crazy and the least bloodthirsty in life. Still, he would have to find out more about this.

"WHERE IS IT?" Caradoc slammed the door open after pocketing his journal, jumping through the door frame and into the flat. A grin played on his face (more uncomfortable grin than mocking) as he skidded on the floor, eyes almost immediately laying on---

"Holy shit, you weren't shitting me at all. Look at the thing." Yeah, it's eyes were way to blatantly un-proportional to it's body.
There was definitely an awkward pause before the little bundle of STARE started squirming and making noise at Caradoc's loud appearance. Oh, god, oh god, don't cry, Emmet thought, reaching his hand out to touch the baby, to soothe it in some way. "There's no crying in this house," he said seriously, letting the baby fuss a little bit as he reached into the bag of toys and pulled out something...resembling an octopus, shaking it in front of the baby's eyes to get his attention.

"See? That's your Uncle Caradoc. You'll learn not to play into his dramatics," Emmet said before glaring at Caradoc and then looking a little guilty, "I still haven't picked a name. What am I going to tell Giada?" This was so fucked up and he was so tired because he'd gotten like two hours of sleep today and had no clue how to make a bottle. Avery had left a house-elf in his flat for a few hours that had done a few bottles but neglected to tell him how. There was no way he was going to his mum for help and well Caradoc didn't know how to do it.

"Why are you smiling?" Emmet asked cautiously because... Caradoc needed to be more upset about this.
Why was Caradoc smiling? Well, that was simple, really. It had something to do with the series of pops that could be heard, just on cue, outside the door that he had just burst through.

The first of those happened to be Alecto, who pushed through into the flat with just a slightly less excited manner than Caradoc had. Of course, she was still pretty excited--who the hell in their right mind wouldn't be, with the news that Emmet had a kid with him? This was prime material for teasing and the hell if she wasn't going to be there to partake in it. She did recognize that, being Caradoc, Emmet probably didn't know that his friends were coming (or on second thought, probably had asked them not to be told), but it was just all the more fun that way.

Alecto walked up behind Caradoc, raising just slightly up on her toes to peer over his shoulder at the--fuck, ahahaha, it really was a kid. A tiny, huge-eyed infant, at that. Aaaaahahahahahaha, this was absolutely golden.

"Ohhh my god," she said, putting a hand to her mouth but unable to contain her laughter.
Even though Mackenzie was exhausted beyond belief (why, again had she decided to switch from fashion to healing? At least the clothes didn't scream at you every three seconds about how much their elbows hurt or how you were doing everything wrong), she couldn't pass this up. Emmet--- with a baby? Like a real, breathing baby that you create and then take care of, thus turning into an adult eventually over time? How in the world did he get one? Last time she checked, he had only been single for about a month, leaving---- oh. Oh. Tugging anxiously at her green scrubs, as soon as Mackenzie stepped down onto the lower floor, she apparated to Emmet's flat.

"Okay, what do you mean you suddenly have a baby?" she proclaimed, walking into the room and behind Alecto and Caradoc. Who were both too tall for her. Looping around them, she went right to the front and---

"Emmet, it's crying," she stated almost instantly, ignoring the snickering coming from Alecto and Caradoc behind her. Ohhhh gosh, thank god Sebastian wouldn't be home until Friday.
Emmet shouldn't have been surprised at all that Caradoc had gotten the girls to come - Matilda and Evan would probably be here within minutes, he could tell, but that didn't stop Emmet from glaring his best 'you will die' look at Caradoc before looking between Alecto and Mackenzie, feeling very flustered all of a sudden. He didn't like that he hadn't had enough time to think of a very good lie (a one night stand wasn't Emmet's thing at all) and now he had people to stare at him trying to be a caretaker (because there was no way he was a father or anything like that.

"Please, laugh harder Alecto," he said before turning back to the kid that yes, was crying, but Emmet didn't know what to do. He picked up a different toy and tried to distract him, while wiggling his hand and augh it was not helping at all. "Yes, he seems to be leaking fluid and yelling at me but how am I supposed to know what he wants! And I never said to you," another glare at Caradoc, "that I suddenly have a baby but, apparently it's mine. You know, New Years Eve and such. I don't even remember her, and she said she'd tried being a mum but now it was my turn and left! LEFT! Brought toys and a kid and LEFT. Without the kid." Emmet was never very good at lying but it seemed to be coming easier now.
Evan didn't exactly rush over to Belby's, but Caradoc seemed to think this was important, so...he obviously had no choice but to go. Why didn't he have a choice? Because he'd have to listen to Caradoc bitch at him for not going, and that was something he really didn't need. So, he grabbed his jacket and his wand, and apparated to Emmet's flat, opening the door to casually stroll inside, closing it behind him. He had caught the tail end of Emmet's speach about how the hell this baby was created in the first place, and took his place beside Caradoc, giving a glance to Alecto who was still laughing. He could understand why. This situation was way too fucked up.

He inhaled and sighed heavily, his arms crossing over his chest. "So what the hell do you plan to do with the thing? Keep it? Play the role of daddy to a kid you didn't even know you had?" He looked down at it and tilted his head to the side, taking in the view of the mini-Belby that was still crying.
"LET ME SEE IT!"

Matilda swung the door open almost a second after Evan closed it and rushed forward. Oh, brilliant! This was just the laugh she needed after the debacle of the Avery party. She'd never admit what her bad mood was about, but clearly she was meant to get over it because seeing any of her former year mates with a child was worth a million and one laughs. It was already hilarious that Mackenzie had gone and married a Gryffindor, but at the moment it seemed like Emmet had won the prize for the biggest slip up of their year.

It was just like a group of Slytherins, rallying together to bask in another's embarrassment.

She leaned forward, putting a hand on Caradoc's arm to balance as---another grin cracked across her face and she looked over at Aleecto, "Are we sure it's Belby's? He's far too cute in my opinion."
Caradoc pulled his lips back together tight, truly holding back the laughter bursting at the tip of his tongue to get out. Okay, but no, he really shouldn't be finding it this amusing because it could just has well have been--- oh, hell like any of them would have been in their right minds to give Caradoc a child. Even further that, now that he was thinking about it, he was probably the last person they would give a child to and--- oh. This made laughing at Emmet that much easier.

"That's a, um---- he's going to entertain it with the octopus. Come on Evan, use your eyes," he stated in an obnoxious tone, completely ignoring Emmet's glares. Oh, this was helping him. If Emmet wasn't able to lie to his friends, then he certainly wouldn't be able to lie to anyone else. So really, Caradoc was doing his mate big a favor. Long-term favor, that is.

"How is it cute?" Caradoc rounded to Matilda, eyebrows arched. "It's eyes are like fucking quaffles."

"That's the point, I think," Alecto said with a smirk, planting her hands on her hips as she stepped closer and leaned over the child. "Even with its huge-ass eyes, freaky stare, and wailing, it's way too cute to be Belby's."

Yeah, so what if it could have been any of them besides Emmet in this position, being teased and made a joke of? So what if they were horrible for delighting in the pain of one of their own? They were Slytherins. It was simply in their job description, and Alecto appropriately snorted even louder with each volume level the baby's cries reached. Who was she to be sympathetic?

"You know, I don't think it likes your toys... Didn't it come with a bottle or anything?" she asked, raising an amused brow at Emmet.
Great the rest of the cavalry had arrived.

"Do with it? What do you think, Evan? I'm just supposed to abandon my... spawn? It...he's like my heir or something. I'm not just going to give it away or anything. Don't be stupid," Emmet said to Evan before sliding forward a bit and leaning closer to the baby. That was still crying. "Shh, you can stop crying, don't worry, they're all trustworthy, okay?"

Bottle, bottle, that was a good idea, maybe he was hungry. "Don't move," Emmet pointed at the baby before standing up and breaking through the group of vultures that were there for his supreme embarrassment. But secretly he was glad, because bugger he didn't know what the hell he was doing. He grabbed the one out of the refrigerator and came back into the livingroom without heating it up. He leaned down to give it to the baby without moving to pick him up.
"Emmet!"

He couldn't just--- that certainly wasn't---- oohhhhhh dear. She watched as he froze, and Mackenzie pushed herself to the front of the little group. Everyone knew that you couldn't just give a baby cold milk, and there he was giving it to him, basically almost ready to drown the poor thing. Even if this situation was funny (because really, what were the odds that this would happen to Emmet of all people?) that didn't necessarily mean that the poor baby needed to die of a mini-heart attack.

"You can't just give it cold milk like that!" she scolded, promptly plucking the bottle out of Emmet's hands and putting it down on the table. Barely missing pushing him, Mackenzie reached over and pulled the wailing baby into her arms. Urgh, this was not helping her already killer headache.

Balancing the baby in on arm, she reached over and grabbed the milk off the table. "Here---- Evan! Warm this up." Hm. Maybe shoving it to the closest person to her wasn't exactly the greatest of ideas.
He rolled his eyes at Emmet. "You're spawn and heir? Fuck, belby, you didn't even know the kid existed until today, don't get all sentimental on us." He sighed and looked over to Caradoc who was still trying not to laugh, causing the corner of Evan's mouth to twitch up into the smallest of smirks, until he went back to looking at the baby who was still crying. When Emmet demanded that the baby not move, he furrowed his brows. "Where the hell is it going to go, you ponce?"

He turned and watched him grab the bottle from the fridge, taking in the scene. Okay, it was hungry, maybe giving it something would make it shut up. This was good. Or, he thought it was until Mackenzie freaked out. He kept his arms folded over his chest, watching her handle the situation, his head once again tilting with curiosity as the kid stared at him. "Hm?" He rose a brow as he heard his name, and before he knew it, he was holding a bottle. "I'm doing what now?" He looked around, as though someone could explain to him how the fuck he had been put in charge of milk warmage. He groaned, and took out his wand, pointing it at the bottle. "Adaugeo estus." Oh, that spell could come in handy for a lot more than torturing people, apparently. He felt the bottle get warmer, tucking his wand back into his pocket. "There. Take it." He stared down at Mackenzie, handing her the bottle. This was way too fucking weird. He wasn't supposed to be warming up bottles, he was supposed to be sleeping, at home, and...

He hated Emmet right now. Careless fucker.
"All babies are cute, asshole," Matilda snapped at Caradoc, following Mackenzie away from the group when she picked up the baby. He was cute, when his face wasn't screwed up crying---ah, see, food. The solution to every man's problem.

She stood back, planting her hands on her hips to stop them from twitching to hold the baby. Matilda had never thought of herself to be a baby person, but apparently she'd never been put into the situation to find out. There was just this urge to hold him that she was fighting down with a mental beater's bat.

"What are you going to do, Belby?" she asked, not particularly caring for an answer, "This flat is far too small for a baby, you're going to have to find a more suitable location."
Silence, good. Emmet was awed by Mackenzie's swiftness with the baby and making him stop crying. He was a little sad though that he'd done something that had caused her to yell at him - how was he supposed to know that you had to warm a bottle up? He had books but really, this was a mess and he couldn't really remember anything from it.

He crossed his arms and stood behind Matilda, using her as a shield and wondering how much Giada and Sebastian would hate him if he kept her here. He was not crying and actually kind of cute. "Uh, what do you mean? This flat is just fine. I have a bedroom, a bath, a living room kitchen thing. He's tiny, he can't take up that much space."