Now, I have to say, I spent way too long reading this and I fear sunlight will soon reach my window again, but this was by far one of the most engaging stories I have ever read. There were some things I wasn't so sure about (which I hope you don't mind if I explain to you later on), but for the most part you managed to create a vivid universe with many elaborate characters that are a delight to read and experience. Your writing has the ability to keep your readers to the screen, minor spell-check mistakes aside, which so very few writers have.

I love Anaxantis and his friends, and I love how smart he is and how elaborate his plans are and that it doesn't feel contrived, that his whole motivation isn't just revenge for himself, but the actual wish to help people. I love that he recognizes his flaws, that he is deeply introspective, but not so much that it hinders him.

I have to admit, I was very hesitant when you warned for incest in this fic, it is not my particular kink at all and I usually shy away from fics involving that. But I'm glad I stuck with this story after all, it was very devastating to see A's infatuation with his brother turn to such vicious hate, and I really like that you didn't shy away from the ramifications of Ehandar's rape and abuse and that Anaxantis is very calculating in his revenge. I really liked that you didn't gloss over the trauma and that Anaxantis is very well justified with his mistrust and hate and that he still suffers from it, even though it doesn't come through every second.

I love that you have such a wealth of side-characters who don't just appear one-dimensional and predictable, and I have to admit I have a particular fondness for the adorable Page-triplet (although I kept reading Obyann as Obi Wan for a while >.>) I just love how smart and capable they are.
I'm not sure about Tomar yet, especially as he was so very gleeful to join Anaxantis' close circle of friends.

And now to the things that threw me out of the story a little. First and foremost I'm sorry to say but the Story-teller introductions are somewhat unnecessary in my opinion and don't really contribute anything to the story as they are now, especially as you said any dominance in the story would be explained in context but I don't really understand the reasoning for the dildo-chair, sorry.
Then I felt somewhat thrown out of the story, since the tone of the language seemed to change abruptly between one paragraph and the next. Sometimes it felt like you were deliberately using dated and archaic language, which I felt fitting in context and then there was the word 'cute' thrown in somewhere and I almost had to shake myself, since I was literally thrown out of your story that much. Of course, that is always in the eye of the reader and probably most people wouldn't mind anyway.

I liked how you made Ehandar such a reprehensible character (at least he is that in my eyes), he really is, for me, the embodiment of a weak, sniveling human who deserves everything that's happened to him and more, on the other hand I have to say, his plotline is somewhat on the backburner and rightly so, but I don't know, something keeps bugging me about it, I can't yet exactly say what it is. Maybe just my almost hatred of him. I'm glad no one I like has died so far, but I wouldn't really mind if he bit the bullet, or maybe one of Anaxantis' poison capsules.

I know that this is only a WiP, and considering the speed with which you must've pounded out the chapters, I do bow my head to you :D.

I am so very curious to see where this story leads (and to think this is only the first book - and so very aptly named) and I would actually feel very honored if you wished to discuss my critique (you could do so at my email adress (for I don't actually have a FP account) miaruma at ).

I probably forgot something important I wanted to say or mention, I really should start taking notes, heh, but I didn't mean to ramble at you... I just have a motormouth :D

Meep

Tags: dark tales - reviews