Who: Noah Boot and Odette MacFarlan
What: Noah proposes??
Where: His house



Their six month anniversary had come and gone without notice.

Noah had panicked the week before about it, wondering if he should buy jewelry or make reservations, but then he realized that Odette was a girl.

Well. He'd known she was a girl before because of certain physical aspects of their relationship, but it had hit him that she was a girl, and girls never left you without any hints of what they wanted. Especially this girl. Odette had made no mention of the date, made no sort of face when Noah casually mentioned going out on said date, and actually had mentioned that she might stay late for a workout unit with some teammates.

So he was in the clear for having done nothing on the 23rd, and was damn happy for it.

"Straight from the far East," Noah let out as he returned from the kitchen, Chinese food boxes in his hands. Noah was sure that for most of his young life, Terry was going to think that their stoves and refrigerators produced hot food in boxes. He rarely picked up groceries other than necessary items for the baby, and when Odette was over, there was no way he was going to try and cook something up.

Noah dropped into the chair on the other side of the coffee table as he handed Odette her food, lo mein already in his mouth as he turned up the dial of the wireless.

Odette had no idea that her and Noah's six month anniversary had been on the twenty-third, and she probably never would. It wasn't that she didn't care, it was just something she had never kept kept track of in her dating experience. And it wasn't like she was going to start now.

Currently she had more pressing issues on hand, like how ridiculously exhausted she was. Practice was morphing into that annoying bitchy stage everyone hated, her mother was now threatening to send her father over if she didn't start responding to her owls in 'proper time' and her elbows hurt like she had just dug them into the ground repeatedly.

So Odette sat, curled with her feet on the edge of the chair and her arms resting on her knees, waiting patiently for food. At this point she would have eaten dog, but chicken and broccoli was just as good. Grabbing the box out of Noah's hands as he walked by to set it on the table, she promptly balanced the container on her knees and dove in. Mid-chew, she remembered a certain vow she had promised herself to hold true to, so Odette swallowed quickly to tell Noah.

"Seth Wadcock had a illegitimate child with this random girl he met at a Puddlemere party a few years ago," Odette started, as if reciting the weather instead of dishing the juiciest true gossip to hit the Montrose Magpies since the fifties. "Last week she showed up at his doorstep, gave it to him, and then disappeared before he could do anything about it," she nodded, a hint of a smile appearing on her face. Yep, it was still funny.

He choked rather loudly on his lo mein and nearly fell out of his seat. Noah pressed a hand to his chest, trying to cough up the noodle before he died. Seth Wadcock had an illegitimate child. Holy shit, that was perfect. Noah blinked furiously at Odette as he managed to regain his breath, and he sat back in the chair, completely shocked by this news.

Not sure why, of course, because quidditch players seemed to get into the craziest kind of trouble. It was amazing that no one had made a big deal about Odette being a part owner of the planetarium, or her pet hippocampus. Really amazing, actually. Noah was sure they'd have some animal rights activist knocking down their door or something, but Poseidon was living happily in the giant aquarium they'd set up in the planetarium.

From the way Odette was relaying this bit of information, however, Noah had the feeling that Seth would not be lucky enough to have his secrets remain just that.

"Tell me," Noah said, leaning forward and clicking his chopsticks at her, "was it wearing a fedora?"

She probably should have waited until Noah had also been done chewing to inform him, but the thought occurred to her too late and they were already talking about it. Correction for the next time Seth Wadcock was handed a long-lost child from the past on his doorstep.

"Ohhh, you have no idea how much I wish, but alas, she was not," Odette feigned disappointment as she shook her head slowly from side to side. A smile broke through her performance, however, which was quickly followed by a few short laughs. She was never going to cease getting amusement out of it. Unfortunately for Seth, Odette now always had a memory to look back on when she needed a pick me up.

"Her name is Leanne," Odette informed briskly, pulling her lips back for a second as she switched to nod her her head. She dropped her utensils on the table, now opting to use her fingers and pick. It was more fun to eat that way anyway. "I met her," she stated before plopping a piece of broccoli into her mouth.

"You did," Noah said in a tone that mimicked some gossiping old ladies. He rolled his eyes and shook his head with a laugh; this was really unbelievable. Who really had a kid just dumped into their lives like that?

He heard Terry cough from up the stairs and Noah snorted. Well. He supposed it wasn't that strange. But at least he hadn't knocked up some bird and let her go off into the sunset. Noah really couldn't wrap his mind around the lifestyle of most quidditch players; he was all for having lots of sex, but maybe he was a bit lame in thinking that you should actually sort of care? Not that he and Odette had started off on that foot, but he wouldn't have thought about ignoring her the next day, or something like that.

Noah put a finger into the corner of his eye, he felt a headache coming on.

"Merlin, what the hell would you do if that---well, I guess you'd know about having a kid," Noah chuckled at the thought of Odette being pregnant and nearly choked again at the angry vision he was met with, "but like---what's his wife's name? Sahara? She must be going insane."

"I am never getting pregnant. Ever," Odette responded almost immediately in a dark tone, not holding back her harsh glare. Just in case he still wasn't completely sure about that topic from before, but she was fairly certain that Noah understood if he ever got her pregnant, she would kill him. With her bare hands.

"Terry is just fine for me, thanks," she sniffed, moving her gaze back to the food on her knees, temporarily finding it much more interesting than the man across the table from her. Though that--- wasn't how she wanted what she wanted to say to come out. Odette looked at Noah oddly for a second, trying to see if he noticed.

In an effort to hide that awkward phrase, Odette quickly sought to continue the conversation. "Savannah. And I don't know, I've never met her," she shrugged uncaringly, not too upset about that fact. Who would want to meet the one person who in the world would put up with Seth Wadcock every single day? She was probably his clone, only female version. "Wadcock won't allow it, of course. I don't know what he thinks I'd possibly have to say to her, but banning me from ever talking to her sort of makes me want to meet her more."

Odette paused, looking up at the ceiling for a few moments. Actually, no, that was a lie. The only vague interest she had in Savannah Wadcock was merely to tell Seth that they had met. "Actually---- I take that back. It's not worth it."

See, there was that thing again. That thing he'd been mentally musing about before, about how girls only said things that they wanted you to hear. Except Odette didn't look like she had wanted to say that at all, and while he nodded along with her comments about the Wadcocks (such an unfortunate name), his mind wandered into a panic. Maybe running full throttle into the mess would make more sense.

She could have meant it that dealing with Terry right now was more than she ever wanted to have concerning children, but it just sounded like---well. Noah pressed harder onto the bridge of his nose, see. He knew there would be a headache coming soon. He wasn't one to assume, he had to find out exact details before he made any conclusions, and if he didn't ask her about it now it was going to drive him crazy for the rest of the night, week, whatever it was until he figured it out. And by figuring it out, it meant panicking over every possible scenario until he was smacked in the face (maybe literally!) with a resolution.

He stayed silent for a few moments after she'd finished talking, not noticing that his food was dripping from the bottom of its box. Noah jabbed his chopsticks into the lo mein and refused to look up at Odette, "So, what, you'd be okay with being Terry's mum?"

If that wasn't the case, he was never going to attempt to understand women again. "We could do that, if that's what you want."

What, what. Do what, exactly?

She said nothing about being a mother! Terry's mother no doubt! Where did Noah get that idea? She didn't--- not that there was anything wrong with Terry, he was a perfectly adorable child that was ridiculously well behaved it at times shocked her, but that didn't mean she had the burning desire to-- to--- to mother him. Yet! Or--- holy shit, at that moment, it felt like the Pandora's box of her mind had been opened, releasing all forms of chaos and havoc. Silently, Odette watched Noah with a mix of shock and horror as he continued to open his mouth, spewing out more insanity, if that was possible.

What she wanted? All she had expressed wanting was to not meet Savannah Wadcock, never get pregnant (especially not at some party thank you very much, she may be a lot of things, but a desperate slut wasn't one of them), and--- and that was it! No, no. Out of everything she said, he got 'marry me' from her acceptance of Terry? It may not have come out right, but it wasn't like--- maybe her mother had finally succeeded in contacting and brainwashing Noah, and--- Odette shook her head, practically knocking the container of food to the ground as she put a hand up to her forehead.

"Are you--- did you just--- did you just propose to me? Or give me permission to adopt Terry?" Just to clarify. Because why the hell not, she might as well understand what he was trying to get at. Though that suddenly seemed like a lost cause, since it was glaringly obvious to Odette that she was in crazy world and not home.

Noah's home!

Holy shit what was wrong with her!

"I'm just trying to understand!" Noah let out quickly, embarrassed by how high-pitched his voice had gone. That had been really dumb to say. In his socially retarded way, he had proposed marriage to Odette.

Maybe.

Sort of?

Nooooo.

Noah's hands went up, the box of chinese plopping down to the table a few centimeters beneath it. Merlin's beard, all he had been saying was what he had thought---okay, he shouldn't have said anything, but he had so now he had to say something but he didn't want to say anything else and holy shit. He was going to have a heart attack. Was his left arm tingling? Look, he'd just broken a sweat, he was definitely dying. This was the stupidest thing he'd ever done in his life, and he'd done plenty, plenty of stupid shit.

"I just---assumed that's what you meant and---I mean----" He flushed deeply, unable to look at her and suddenly feeling like he was under investigation for a terrible crime. Holy shit, he'd never even thought about getting married before, in all of his fucking life and all of a sudden he's 'Yeah! Sure! If you want'!

Who the fuck said that? She should've stabbed him with the chopsticks (but he wouldn't give her that idea if she hadn't thought of it by now).

Noah's still raised hands clenched into fists as he tried to remain relatively calm (relative to the fact that he'd just popped the fucking question to his girlfriend of six months in the stupidest manner known to man), "I'm not going to take it back because that would be----very...rude."

Rude? "But I just----thought...I don't know what I was thinking! I'm a moron!"

Okay. Okay. Oookay.

Now she just wanted to off herself purely to stop watching the train-wreck that was Noah Boot happening in front of her. What was he doing? And why was she still watching? It was a strange feeling, completely unable to tear herself away while all every bone in her body wanted to do was run away as quickly as possible. Sometime, her jaw dropped down open, creating the stupidest and most unattractive face ever.

She--- did not--- understand.

It looked like he was going to punch himself in the face.

"Be--- rude?" she repeated his words faintly, still unable to respond. On the contrary, she wished he had taken it back because at least then this whole situation wouldn't be continuing! Well, alright, maybe that was a lie too, because it was a bit offensive to have--- holy shit not that it mattered because she didn't want to marry him anyway! Right? Yes, of course!

"I do not want to marry you!" Odette blurted, following her train of thought. "Or-- anything like that! So--" She didn't know why she continued, it was obvious that that was the only thing she needed to say to clear up this very awkward situation forming before them. Both hands went to her hair as she pulled it back, fingers scraping along her scalp while doing so.

That was acceptable to say, right? Because he had only said that because he thought that it was what she wanted him to say, so--- Odette's stomach dropped as she strained to remember anything that Noah had said to indicate that her theory was true. But she found it hard to remember the last three seconds, let alone the last three minutes, as her brain had already begun to block this event from her long-term memory.

"Because--- you--- want-- to?"

"OhthankGod," Noah let out in one quick breath, slumping into his chair. He immediately jolted up right, however, and put out his hands in a 'please don't hit me' manner. "I mean! Because! I didn't---mean to say---that and----"

Did he want to? Oh God, why couldn't she have just stopped talking and gone back to bashing Wadcock? Maybe he should start saying something about her idiot captain and they could completely forget this conversation. No, no, they'd already muttered and stumbled too many words for it to be ignored, and he was a complete and fucking idiot. That is all he was getting out of this conversation, really, a true testament to his idiocy. Holy shit, if Martin ever caught wind of this, he would never live it down.

Adding onto the fact that Odette was probably not going to want to stand within a bloody kilometer of him. This was turning out to be a rather shitty night!

"Do I--? I---" He couldn't breathe. Or maybe he could because he couldn't stop fucking talking no matter how hard his brain was shouting at him to stop. Every organ in his body was rebelling against the muscles in his mouth and how they had seemingly taken over every last functioning bit of his mental capacity. "I---er--I guess...I guess it wouldn't---be terrible. But I mean---"

Fucking. Hell. "I'm about to fucking pass out, if that's any sort of clue onto how I am currently feeling this." He slumped back into the seat, feeling dizzy.

Why did she ask that? Why why in the fucking world would she say that? What was wrong with her? How had this happened! Odette immediately jumped to blame the Chinese food (demon dog meat!) because it--- was--- the only thing blamable! Yes, exactly. Completely ignoring their inability to speak was purely because of the Chinese food. She would have already suggested taking a trip to Mungo's, if she didn't completely distrust her mouth at this point.

"OKAY GREAT!" she exclaimed randomly, finding that it fit well to everything that he had just said. Because that was what this was.... great. Just great. Just fucking great. Odette found herself exhaling something of a wheeze, and she smacked her hands over her face to temporarily step away from... this. Though it didn't help, since she still hear Noah breathing heavily, and she could still picture how he sat, half-passed out through her closed eyes and---

"I JUST FORGOT!" She had no idea why she was yelling. Apparently it was necessary. "I have to--- GO! I HAVE TO GO!"

Awkwardly Odette jumped up from her seat, playing a quick catching game with her food before jerkily throwing it to the table. She had no idea where her bag was, and had no intent on wasting time attempting to look for it. It had become a causality, and she was just going to have to live with that fact for the rest of the evening. Or her life, whichever she lived through the longest.

"SO I'M--- GOING. NOW."