first - new journal
[PRIVATE
] You! You are not crazy. You're not crazy, this is totally plausible and completely not
weird or crazy or---just, it's not crazy. You are not crazy, Emmeline Vance, even though you are talking---
writing to yourself. No more of that.
You're not crazy--- [/PRIVATE
][CARADOC
] So----Well. I'm not crazy, you know. This makes absolute sense, they never confirmed that the body was yours--
Okay. You're not crazy in thinking that this might work, because you're not. Emmeline Vance, you just assured yourself that you are not crazy, and that if you were in some sort of organization this would be---a valid type of--I'm pretty sure you're dead. I'm actually 99.9999% sure that you are, but somewhere in the past few weeks, Alice has managed to insert into me some sort of insane optimism, causing me to believe that the small percentage of which I've given your life is actually--true. But, I'm still very sure you're dead. I don't understand why I keep repeating that to myself, I'm almost certain I should be sobbing hysterically, but--I'm not. Not anymore, at least, I'll have you know that I haven't cried so much in my entire life, and it's all because of
you. I bloody hate you, I hope you know.
Hate. Because---you know that's not bloody true and it kills me and---
---I went home today, though I think I might take up Frank's offer on helping me build a house near his. I wasn't struck with memories or anything like that, but--as much as I needed to get out of his house, I want to be close to him, so---and, and I went to Gringotts, to take some money out for you know, groceries and other vital necessities and my
balance was---there was far too many zeroes at the end of it, and I asked the goblins if they'd made a
mistake, but they told me (after they yelled at me for questioning them) that there had been a transfer from a young
man's account and---
I can't believe you did that. I don't know what I'm going to
do with all the money, but. I can't believe you
-- gave it all to me, I mean.
I don't know. I think you're dead. But if you're not--maybe you'll see this and let me know.
Not that I'm depending on it or anything or constantly going to be checking----
Sigh
I--
---sjkgnsgdms
I miss you--sjdgns why am I still emotionally retarded I AM TALKING TO NO ONE AND I CAN'T EVEN BLOODY SAY---[/CARADOC
]Right, then.
