Lyssandra Vance (lysdexia) wrote in valesco,
@ 2008-07-29 17:40:00

Entry tags:

[Awwwkward.]
After everything that had been going on for the past few months, Lyssandra Eberlee had been sure that nothing could possibly make her life more awkward than it already was. Of course, that was before Tadhg had owled her again. He always did have a habit of messaging her at the worst possible times.

Then again, everything about them had always revolved around bad timing. When she was interested in him, he wasn't interested in her, when he was interested in her, she wasn't interested in him -- and when they did happen to line up their affections, he either got 'too busy' with Quidditch or ended up in some fan's pants. Things had never been ideal for Tadhg and herself.

Now was no exception. She paced in front of the mirror and ruffled her hair once more, trying to get it to look presentable. Damnit, why was it that she cared again?

Probably because he was one of the few people outside of her circle of Healer friends that had gotten close to her for a long period of time. When she heard the knock at the door, she cleared her throat and let out a quiet, "Fuck."

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brute
2008-07-30 01:06 am UTC (link)

The last time Tadhg had seen Sandy, things didn't leave off on the best of notes. That was about a half a year ago. Before then, they'd been on and off for years, even since their days at Hogwarts. It just never really worked out. He was too busy, his life was incredibly fast-paced. He didn't really know what she was doing when he wasn't around, but it was kind of like out-of-sight-out-of-mind for him, at the time. He knew that she'd be there when he had time, it wasn't until she stopped being there when he felt like fitting her into his schedule that there came a problem. No, he hadn't treated her right. He only realized it once she was really gone, that last time. Sure, they'd fought about it and broken up a ton of times before that one final time, but he always knew it wasn't going to stay that way.

But that last time -- well, it stayed that way. And he missed her. He missed the habits he used to find annoying, he missed just being able to talk to her. He figured that he'd forget about it eventually, but he didn't. She never tried to contact him, though. It was a pride thing, or he might have came back to her sooner. Things were going to be different this time, though. If there was a this time. He took a breath and rapped his knuckles hard against the door. And then he waited.

Tadhg might have even been here even sooner, months ago, if he hadn't heard through the grapevine that Lyssandra was pregnant. Pregnant. If that wasn't repellant, what was? But it sunk in, and it weighed on him, and he decided that a pregnant Lyssandra or a Lyssandra-Having-A-Baby-That-Wasn't-His was better than no Sandy at all. And he'd heard that it was Quirke's, the Hobgoblin, the guy in the year below him at Hogwarts. Seemed like a good enough guy, but he'd also heard that he wasn't stepping up to the plate. Well, Sandy ... he loved her. He had his doubts about that, but he knew it now more than ever. Maybe she needed him now like he discovered that he needed her. Maybe she just didn't know it yet.

And he waited.

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 01:11 am UTC (link)

She was sure that he was going to look exactly the way that he had when she'd seen him last - rugged and built and stupidly fucking handsome. When she ran her hand through her hair one last time and glanced into the mirror, what she saw was certainly not who she'd been hoping to.

Nope. Pregnant and bloated, that about summed it up. Oh, and alone -- don't forget that last one. It wasn't as if she'd gotten anymore contact attempts from Waldo after his stupid excuses about the drugs, anyway -- so it wasn't like she wanted to talk to him, but ... it still fucking sucked, having to be pregnant alone.

The stairs were starting to get irritating as hell. She took another deep breath and pressed up toward the door, opening the locks with a few quiet clicks and standing face-to-face with Tadhg.

Yeah, still exactly the same.

Fuck.

"Hey," she managed weakly, doing her best not to stare or cry or whatever other stupid things people who were hormonal and pregnant did.

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brute
2008-07-30 01:24 am UTC (link)

"Hey," he grunted, mostly because that was all he could manage. Okay, so Tadhg wasn't especially observant, so he didn't really notice the bloating. He didn't look for the bump, he didn't notice that, either. But he did notice that she wasn't glaring, she wasn't yelling, she wasn't in her fighting stance. That was definitely a good sign. And she looked great, or at least he thought so. She did look stressed out, a little worn and tired, but she was still herself. It was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

But he didn't know what to say, which was odd for him. Tadhg was one of those people who didn't fuck around. He said what he needed to without beating around the bush. He used only the words he had to and didn't try softening things or worrying about anyone's feelings. He got what he needed to say out, and that was all that he ever aimed for. But he speechless.

So, what does a straightforward person do when they find themselves rendered speechless? They do the first thing they think of, of course. He stepped forward, over the threshold, and wrapped his arms around Lyssandra, pressing his face against the nape of her neck. He breathed in her scent, and the most unmanly thing happened! His stomach fluttered. Yeah. Butterflies in the stomach for this tough guy? Jeez. But yeah, he'd missed everything, even the way she smelled.

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 01:40 am UTC (link)

So either Tadhg's vision had gotten worse (which was possible, considering everything) or he was ignoring the baby-bump and the whole ... water-retention thing. Still, he looked great and then suddenly he was holding her. What else was she supposed to do but melt against him, bringing one hand up to the back of his neck to stroke slowly?

She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes with a frown. This was ... not what she had been expecting to happen. Either he was coming to laugh in her face about the whole Waldo situation or he was here to tell her he was getting married.

"You've got really fuckin' bad timing," she muttered against his broad shoulder. "You know that, right?"

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brute
2008-07-30 01:53 am UTC (link)

"Always," he murmered against her shoulder, planting a soft kiss on the spot between her neck and shoulder. He took another breath before he lifted his head, looking at her squarely in the eye. His arms were still around her, and he squeezed her gently against him, "What else is new?" he added with something of a wry grin. Nothing about this was funny, of course. She was pregnant, it wasn't his, that pretty much sucked. But he'd decided to overlook that, right? He just had to stay firm to that and not chicken out or anything. But this seemed like a pretty damn good start, even if they hadn't exactly talked about things at all just yet.

But she hadn't punched him. That meant that something good would probably come of this, or at least he hoped so. He rubbed her back gently, and knocked the door shut behind him with the heel of his boot. Tadhg maintained eye contact with her and spoke, "You're nothing to that git, Sands, but you're still everything to me. I don't care if you're pregnant, I can --" he hesitated just slightly, "I can be okay with that. We'll make it work. It won't be easy, but if you're willing to make the extra effort, so am I."

He didn't waste any time, as per usual. He'd just gotten in the door and he was already dumping his heavier ideas on her. "You and me, we've always had something. I'm not alright with giving that up, are you?" It was a yes or no question. Yup, Tadhg made things pretty damn simple, or at least he liked to think so.

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 02:05 am UTC (link)

He'd barely stepped in the door and already he was throwing things like that at her? Lyssandra frowned to herself and then stepped back enough to look him in the eye directly. Seriously, it had been less than five minutes and --

"I know you're straight and to the point," which she actually found herself liking right now, considering every-fucking-thing that had been going on was because Waldo hadn't been straight with her from the start, "but shit, Tadhg. You don't care if I'm pregnant? That's fantastic, but you know what? I ..." Why were her arguments seeming so stupid suddenly?

"You know the reasons we broke up last time haven't changed and so do I." Because she was pretty sure that he had only ever made time for her when he'd felt like it. "So you're wasting your time."

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brute
2008-07-30 02:15 am UTC (link)

Tadhg shook his head vigorously, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders and holding her steadily, "If I knew the reasons we broke up last time didn't change, why would I be here?" he asked pointedly. He raised his brows and tilted his head questioningly, but spoke again before giving her a chance to answer. "Everything's different, alright? I thought -- well, I thought you were going to come back. Like all the other times. I never thought that I'd ever actually -- I never thought it'd ever be over, no matter what. I figured you'd always stick around, no matter what shit I pulled. And now I know that's not the case."

He sighed heavily. Arguing wasn't his strong point. He couldn't twist words to make them fancier or prove himself to be right when he wasn't. He never bothered trying. All he could say is exactly what he meant, no matter how harshly he had to say it. "I know better now, Sandy. I really do. I'm swallowing my pride, I should've done that a long time ago. Trust me, everything is different. And if it's not, then we'll call it quits and I won't bother you again. Alright?"

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 02:20 am UTC (link)

Lyssandra knew that he wasn't very good at arguing. That had actually made things easier in the long-run, all things considered. She'd missed him and that made her more frustrated than anything, because it wasn't as if she'd had terribly good luck with trusting men to do the right thing as of late.

"How am I supposed to know everything's different, Tadhg? Now isn't exactly an ideal time to start trying with me. Don't play dumb with me, love, because I know you've heard I'm up the duff with some rock-star's kid. Unless that's a turn-on somehow ... in which case, just keep that to yourself." Ugh, she felt like she was going to cry again just from working herself up like this and that was more infuriating than anything else.

She made an attempt to pull away from him, placing her hands on his wrists to take his off her shoulders. She just needed -- space, or something.

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brute
2008-07-30 02:27 am UTC (link)

Tadhg didn't let her loosen his grip. His lips formed a thin line and he made a sound of frustration deep in his throat. "You're supposed to let me prove it to you. I'm not daft, Sands, of course I heard. It's not a bloody turn-on, or else I'd have come along months ago. I had to think about it, but now I know what I want. Trust me, this wasn't some hasty decision of mine, it took a while for me to figure out that what I wanted was you, no matter the bloody circumstances."

He paused to take a breath and loosened his grip, keeping one hand on her shoulder and brushing a strand of hair from her eye with the other. "I love you, Sandy. And if you don't want me back, at least let me help you, alright? I'll beat the piss out of the wee bugger, would you like that? Because trust me, love, I'll do it if you ask." He looked at her expectantly, as though she just might ask him to. And then, of course, he'd go off and get it done with.

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 02:35 am UTC (link)

"Let go, Tadhg." Ah, there was one thing that she remembered disliking about him - being so gruff all of the time was fine when you wanted someone to be manly, but not so great when you were trying to reason with someone. She frowned to herself when he spoke and ... well, continued to try and avoid the talk of how much he loved her and wanted to help her and -- bugger it.

She slid a hand through his hair and leaned up to pull him into a slightly awkward kiss, mumbling against his chin, "I'd really rather y'didn't go anywhere just now, if it's all the same to you." But she wasn't completely dismissing the idea of letting him at Waldo if the prat pulled anything else.

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brute
2008-07-30 02:50 am UTC (link)

That sounded better. He grinned and returned her kissing, pulling her closer to him once again. Breaking the kiss, he looked down at her quite serious and said solemnly, "I'll stay as long as you want me to." And then he kissed her again, tucking her hair behind her ear. He knew it'd turn out alright! See what a little confidence got ya? Or, well, at least it sort of seemed to be going his way. He couldn't be too sure just yet. It seemed almost too easy! Sandy wasn't known for her agreeable nature.

But he was happy just to be holding her right now, just to be kissing her. He'd deal with that shit when he had to, if it would even arise. Could you have sex with a pregnant lady? He pushed the thoughts from his mind. One fucking thing at a time, he reminded himself. Move slow. That'll work. Plus, that'd be kinda weird, right? He tried to concentrate on kissing her and, trying to further distract himself, he kissed her with more fervor than before. This was good, this was good. He just needed to shut his head up right now and focus on the moment.

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 02:53 am UTC (link)

If there was one thing that she was good at doing, it was pushing aside logic for a good shag. Nevermind that one time with Amery Wilkes, the fact that she'd even gotten into the position with Waldo (literally, haaa) to get pregnant should've proved that one beyond all doubt.

She leaned against him with a soft sigh and pressed a kiss to his jaw before he caught her lips in another kiss. She always forgot just how ... built he was until she was pressed against him and she felt regrettably small next to him.

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brute
2008-07-30 03:44 am UTC (link)

Tadhg enfolded her even moreso in his arms and continued to kiss her for as long as he could stand. He'd missed her kisses. The other girls -- well, they were so eager. So bloody needy, so nervous, they just tried too damn hard. Lyssandra was never like that. Her kisses could comfort, relax, and excite him all at once. Those other girls either excited or annoyed the hell out of him, and all he wondered is why they couldn't just kiss like her.

He'd like to think that he knew Sandy pretty well. And right now, with the way she was kissing, he could pretty much tell what she was looking for. He was fine with that, obviously. And that must mean that it was okay to shag while she was pregnant? Of course. She wouldn't go for it if it wouldn't be alright. Tadhg swooped her up and cradled her in his arms. She was always light, and even still, while she was pregnant. It wouldn't be weird for him, he'd get over it. He'd just imagine that she put on a few pounds, no big. Out of habit, he carried her to the bedroom. He kissed her as he walked. This place was familiar to him. He knew it like the back of his hand and absolutely nothing had changed. When they made it to the bed, he laid he down and hovered above her, bracing his weight his arms. He grinned devilishly down at her, half because he felt like it and half because she should know that now would be the time to speak up if she had any objections.

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lysdexia
2008-07-30 03:48 am UTC (link)

She definitely didn't have any sort of objection to him carrying her like that. It kind of relieved her that he didn't ... snap in half or something when he picked her up, honestly. Lyssandra nuzzled her face into the curve of his neck while he carried her and then let out a soft sound once he set her down on the bed and smirked, trailing a hand up the middle of his chest.

Yeah, he knew her pretty well -- that was something she didn't want to think about. That meant that he knew exactly what to do to rile her up, and even if it made the sex fucking incredible it also made it really fucking hard to kick him out the next day. That was how things had gotten started the final time around, and it had taken her almost two months to kick his arse out for good.

"Just don't fuck this up," sounded softer than she'd meant it to, unfortunately.

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