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xxsmallzxx ([info]xxsmallzxx) wrote,
@ 2008-04-14 22:19:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
 okay well here for the past couple days i've been really just depressed. there's just a lot flowing through my mind. college is soon, and I HAVE no idea how i'm going to afford it. I Keep putting off scholarships and it's really bad. I basically give up in school bc im just so done. I dont need any of my classes. I'm ready for it to be over with it. 
My Mom's really sick and I'm worried about her so of course that makes me sick bc i'm worried and stressed on top of that so i GET NO SLEEP which isnt healthy for me. 
I miss my sister being around , i mean sure she maade a few mistakes, okay maybe a lot, but she's still my sister and i love her no matter what, and i just miss her being around. and i hate the fact that she's so stupid. but she has a lot of problems so you know she's always on my mind wondering how she's even surviving. 
and then on top of that she's pregnant again which I've mentioned in earlier posts. and SHE CAN'T keep the baby bc of patrick he can't be around minors. So they are thinking about adoption... well it gets FUCKING better.......
FRANCI'S sister wants to adopt it. uhg i mean at first it sounded good but i got to thinking about it here lately and I HATE IT. Bc one you know she'll take it to go see sarah and patrick but you know she'll have it call her mom so it's going to confuse the poor kid to death and hurt my sister (which i know she's stupid in the first place for getting knocked up but still..) and then she'll be calling Franci her AUNT and then when i see it i will want it to call me AUNT but i can't tell the kid like I'm really your aunt btw , that's just awful. UHG .. idk i guess it's confusing.
I talked to rob about it today bc he has a brother who was adopted so that was like alot of help, and he completely understood how i felt, and it made sense to him and he understands why it would bother me. So i guess maybe i should try and explain it to franci. rob said he would be there with me if thats what i choose to do so that's good. 
Rob's coming to prom with me which i'm totally excited about, and it makes me happy. He makes me happy ! Too bad he's gay he's perfect! ;P but he's my bestfriend and i just know i can trust him with anything and i love him so prom should be a blast this year with him.


advice..if you have it throw it my way.. thanks


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[info]kelmo
2008-04-15 08:13 pm UTC (link)
yeah that would be a shitty situation but im sure franci or her sister would understand..?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]xxsmallzxx
2008-04-16 12:59 pm UTC (link)
yeah well actually, franci randomly stopped by my house yesterday bc she knew somethings been wrong with me so she wanted to talk, and um 5 minutes went by and her phone rang and it's this guy she's been talking to for like 2 weeks, and she hangs up and she's like DUDE SORRY BUT WE HAVE TO FINISH THIS LATER I HAVE TO GO SAVE HIM. like wtf? i was in the middle of a deep conversation, ONE it was rude to even ANSWER the phone when i was talking TWO, to leave to go to some guy who keep in mind HAS a baby from some chick and has called her probably like 12 times in the two weeks she's known him to HELP his ass get out of trouble.

I mean i just basically realized where i stand, and i'm sick of ppl treating my like shit.


wow sorry ha that was really longgg

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[info]kelmo
2008-04-17 08:26 pm UTC (link)
that sucks i would have been like bitch fine u dont deserve my timE!

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[info]risky
2008-04-19 02:37 pm UTC (link)
i'm so sorry sweetie. I feel like an awful friend, because I haven't been there for you through all of this. I'm so sorry. I hope things cna get better! If you EVER need to talk just text me or call. I would be the SAME EXACT way with my sister having a kid then someone I know taking it... Like now that I have Kennedy, I can't imagine my neice calling someone else aunt(besides my toher sisters). Cheer up grumpy guss! I LOVE YOUUUU

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]xxsmallzxx
2008-04-21 03:14 am UTC (link)
thanks hunn!..things are getting a little better, still kinda shitty could use a KATIE DAY (day as in i could use you for a WHOLE DAY)
i know i can call you anytime, i just idk i feel so bad if i call ppl just to complain about how sad i am.

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