No one ever uses the one over here. I should probably mention the fact that it tends to burn everything though- even when you set it on low.

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I think Sarah breaks them. The one I had used to be hers and now I don't have one, so that should tell you something. On the plus side, it was a very small fire.

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Or it could be because my Uncle decided to break it's spirit. I know I've seen him on more that one occasion having a not too nice conversation with the coffee machine. At least I only talk to things that talk back.

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Are you implying that John Butler even scares appliances?

Because I'd believe that. XD

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There's a reason we have an electric can opener that doesn't work.

Not that that probably stops him from muttering about the old-fashioned one.

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It's not my fault you people don't know how to work a toaster. Grace, that one was perfectly fine when I bought it. As to ours...I think Chelsea may be on to something.

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I know how to work a toaster. You put in bread, it comes out toast. Except for your old toaster, where you put in bread, it came out on fire.

I don't know about the one you have now. Maybe it needs a pep talk. Or possibly an exorcism.

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How in the hell did you turn my toaster in to a flame thrower!?! It worked just fine when I left it there.

I could always ask John to stop threatening the appliances. I'll let you know how he takes it.

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I'm innocent! I wouldn't even know how to begin to break a toaster. It has a switch and a turny button. There was not button for 'flames', I would have noticed that.

Oh yeah, I'm sure that'll go over real well. Be sure to record that conversation for posterity.

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You managed it somehow. Must have been some sort of miracle.

Will do. We can laugh about it later.

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