The high seas. A pirate ship was tossed upon the waves, its crew hard at work at the various tasks that occupied the normal work of seafaring.
The dread pirate Roberts looked upon the captured maiden with a mad gleam in his eye. He was a pirate, true, but there was some kind of strange animal magnetism about him, something which quickened the maiden's pulse and filled her loins with a burning desire.
"And where is your beloved rescuer now?" he asked, stepping in close to her. He put a hand upon her dress, ripping at the bodice. "That was no life for you. I can feel your wild passions."
He pressed his lips to hers and for a moment she did give in to her aching passions and kissed him back, before she forced herself to break away. "I am a respectable woman!" she barked. "I'll not have you sully me so!"
The pirate laughed. "Oh, really? It seems to me you were quiet willing!"
"Unhand her!" the voice came from high in the rigging, and the Imperial Captain Starbridge leaped from on high, landing in front of the pirate Roberts, his shirt open, exposing his muscles, his feathery hair flying free in the wind. "My lady," he called to her, "are you all right?"
Here too, were her passions raised. The Captain was less wild, but still a handsome man, good and kind.
"You aim to rescue her?" the pirate asked. "I think not! Have at you!"
"Have at you, sir!"
The two went at it, blades flying furiously, neither one giving an inch, muscle and sinew glinting with sweat in the hot sun...
And then they both stumbled over the purple cat, which had been lying on the deck, sending all three crashing into the ocean below...
Rachel woke from her dream drenched in sweat, her heart pounding. She pushed herself up, calling upon a small flicker of power for illumination.
"Okay," she said to herself. "No more of Uncle Hank's chili and romance novels before bed..."
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