Justin Finch-Fletchley (condign) wrote in riddikulus,
@ 2008-01-01 22:54:00

September 23, 1997 | Tuesday
Characters: Susan Bones & Justin Finch-Fletchley
Setting: Tuesday night. Outside Hufflepuff Common Room. 9:45ish
Rating: PG-13 for sexual references
Status: Complete

Justin glanced at his wrist watch as he sat in the Hufflepuff common room Charm's book in hand. The noise level was relatively atrocious despite the occasional prefect offering ill fated warnings about what would happen if things didn't settle down. Although curfew was well on it's way, it seemed that a number of students were still wide awake. In one corner a group of girls sat huddled around a wireless listening to the latest episode of As the Time Turner Spins while a group of boy's from various years tuned into the Late Night Quidditch Hour with cool talking Lee Rube and Gene Hollis.

As would be expected amongst the general chatter of the other Hufflepuff patrons and the battling wireless volume levels it was a bit difficult to hear yourself think. As a result, Justin had given up finishing his charms essay some time after he'd sat down. While staring at the same page he'd been looking at for the last thirty minutes he attempted to pass the time with listening to a little bit of everything going on. Though he wasn't doing his homework in the least he used it as an excuse not to be bothered by anyone who made the attempt to strike conversation. His mind was on other things.

He'd made the decision that he'd have a proper chat with Susan about this...mess they'd gotten themselves into. After a few days of moping and general awkwardness he'd finally worked up the courage to initiate a conversation. He'd originally planned to do it tomorrow - but seeing as she was so eager to write him that ... journal entry of self righteousness... he figured tonight would be as good as any. That is...if he could actually hear his thoughts properly.

As the same fifth year prefect who'd been yelling at everyone to shut their trap bolted from the girl's dorms with fire in her eyes, the seventh year closed his books and promptly exited the Hufflepuff commons. It was surprising how quiet the basement corridor was once the common room entrance shut behind him. He took a deep breath and decided he'd catch Susan here. It was good a place as any. Sitting down on one of the stone benches along the wall...he waited.

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 06:38 am UTC (link)

Alone with her thoughts, it had been nice. Despite the fact she had forgotten her wand; she had an alright time alone. She had hoped Justin would accompany her, but since he was against walking at night in the rain she just went alone, at least they would talk later. Susan felt the walk had done her some good and had cleared her thoughts sort of. She had finally decided it was her fault she had been kissed by Michael, he was a boy right and well she was sitting her bra so it was her fault, not to mention the fact she could have pushed him away at any time. Susan had also decided that basically undressing Justin was not a good idea, and to keep away from doing anything similar again, it had only made the whole thing worse. She knew she wouldn’t have gone off with Michael on a walk had that whole fiasco with Justin not happened. Michael was only trying to cheer her up, in a way she didn’t want to be. It was really just as simple as that.

Susan was back in the cool warmth of the school and was wandering down the hall sopping wet. She would hopefully see Justin and be able to say wait a moment whilst I change. As she rounded the corner of the hallway that contained the entrance way she realized that was not the case. Susan’s jeans were heavy and dark from the water, and her sweater and t-shirt clung to her shapely frame she had tried so hard to hide. She wrapped her arms around herself as she walked towards him. “Why aren’t you inside, it is almost curfew?” She asked curiously as she stopped near him. “Do you want to go in or stay outside; is it loud in there or something?” She asked this all rather quickly and was tempted to add they could find a classroom to talk in if they wanted too.

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condign
2008-01-02 07:12 am UTC (link)

Justin had stood when he saw Susan approaching and made the attempt to meet her half way. The closer they got however the more the boy's face fell into a frown. The sight of her was....not what he'd been expecting. Sure he was willing to bet her haired be a bit damp, but this....this looked as if she'd jumped in the lake. Justin found himself a bit distracted by how pathetic the girl looked and the dangers of the draft in the basement corridor.

"Why are you wet?" he asked ignoring her previous questions as he quickly began to remove his dark gray cardigan. Her rushed questions all seemed rather pointless given her current state. "Not to sound like an old bitty or anything, but you'll catch pneumonia if you're not careful." He draped the garment over Susan's shoulders and stepped away his hands diving into his pocket for his wand. "Did you forget how to cast an impervius or something?"

He didn't mean to sound judgmental, but Justin couldn't help but think that the pastime of walking in the rain...at night...in 10 degree weather far from very productive. If anything it was lunatic and hardly good for ones health. Even with the marvels of magic - illness was not biased when it came to destruction of ones immune system.

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 07:21 am UTC (link)

When he asked why she was wet she looked down at her self and sighed. “Well I was walking outside in the rain, and was out for a while not to mention I slipped and caused water to drop from some of the trees. Plus I managed to get under a nice rainfall from the roof.” Susan said rather defeated about the whole thing. When Susan felt the warmth of the dry sweater reach her she sighed softly and breathed in. The deep breath in was a bad idea considering the fact she got a good waft of Justin’s scent and caused her to shiver. Susan tried to act normal as she looked back up at him with a meek smile. “I forgot my wand,” she said meekly almost as if a kicked puppy. “I didn’t want to go back for it so I went out and figured I could dry off when I got in.” Susan just shrugged her shoulders.

In her mind she kept thinking how silly she had been, and that Justin probably thought she was an idiot for going out in the rain. She just had to get out of the castle and think. She knew going out late at night was not the greatest idea she had ever had but it had done some good.

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condign
2008-01-02 07:34 am UTC (link)

'Idiot' wasn't exactly the right word for what Justin was thinking. Though he certainly didn't think this was one of Susan's most shining moments, he was a bit biased when it came to his friends. Even ones who puked on him and caused him general emotional uncertainty for the last four days.

He smirked at shook his head at her as he finally found his wand in his back pocket. Despite her moment of...bad judgment he couldn't help but note on the cute bashfulness she always had when she admitted to doing something silly.

"I can dry you off if you'd like - but if you'd rather just change...I don't mind waiting. Er..." he trailed off a moment and scratched the back of his head with the same hand he held his wand in. "It's a bit crowded in the commons either way you decide - I think we'd be better off chatting out here for the most part."

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 07:48 am UTC (link)

Susan weighed the options, and she liked the option of not going into the common room. Staying out here and having him dry her off made more sense, and less time to ponder what this chat was going to end up like. Plus she perhaps could keep his sweater on, which was something that sounded like a good idea to Susan. So she decided on the magical way of getting dry, as she would have to dry her clothes anyway. “Thanks Justin, I think I will take you up on that offer.”

Susan looked at him, just standing still waiting for him to get to it. Susan was more nervous about the conversation than his talent with spells. Susan knew that Justin was competent so she really had nothing to worry about. The silence was a tad awkward so she decided to speak. “So, do we want to talk here, or find a classroom?” Susan’s only request was it not be the classroom the whole Michael thing happened in.

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condign
2008-01-02 08:07 am UTC (link)

By the time Susan started talking, Justin had already given his wand a wave and the silent drying charm was done. The Hufflepuff was more than competent in charms and didn't really bother to hesitate. It wasn't the first time he'd had to dry a wand-less friend off and it wasn't like it was much of a big deal.

Stuffing his wand back in his pocket he placed his hand idly on his hip and motioned in the air with his other. "I...don't really have a preference," he replied with a shrug. And he really didn't, in all honesty, Justin hardly thought the 'talk' would take very long.

"I just..." he continued with out much input of where they'd chat. Obviously deciding here was good enough. There wasn't anyone around... "I just wanted to say that I was sorry for everything. I shouldn't have been such an arse. I've just been having a really bad start of term...and well...it's not important...." He shook his head and breathed in deep as to start over, "The point is....I uh...wanted to apologize for all of it. For kissing you and making you think I was leading you on. I didn't mean to do that."

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 08:16 am UTC (link)

It was a nice feeling to be dry, something she realized she had missed in the few minutes she had been soaking wet inside. Susan was happy to have someone like Justin around, he was always so helpful. He was sweet too, he was raised a gentleman and you could tell. Perhaps those were a few of the things she liked about him? Yup, they were.

As just started to apologize Susan leaned against the wall, seeing as they wouldn’t be moving. She brushed her now dry hair from her face and just listened to Justin. “Thanks,” she finally said when he had finished. “I’m sorry for telling you liked you, and putting you in any sort of awkward position. I know we are just friend and I’m okay with that.” Susan said softly trying not to look away from Justin like she wanted too. Susan felt like she was a big enough person to do this with out feeling like crying or actually crying. “I shouldn’t have done what I did with your shirt, or think nothing off it. I don’t know, I just wanted to fix it and I didn’t think it was anything. I don’t know.” She finally looked at her feet, but scolded herself in her mind and turned her attention back to Justin. “I’m also sorry you have had a bad start of year, and if I have aided in that at all. I didn’t mean too. I just felt like I should tell you how I felt. It has been a year or so since I started feeling like this and just felt like I should let you know.” Susan nervously rubbed the back of her neck before sighing heavily. “I’m sorry about Michael too.” She added on just in case that was bothering him.

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condign
2008-01-02 08:41 am UTC (link)

"None of this is your fault," Justin offered as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall space next to her. "I was having a bad month long before you even mentioned your feelings - which you shouldn't apologize for either. I just took it badly because of everything else going on. Which wasn't fair to you in the least and I shouldn't have acted like I did."

He looked over at Susan from his observation of the stone floor, "I just had other stuff on my mind, you know? When you told me what was up, I'd been set on not getting mixed up in any more relationships until after I got everything with my parents and school worked out. I don't know what happened, but I think I just caved under the pressure and lashed out at you. I don't know why, but I know that doesn't make up for how I treated you. If anything it's my fault this whole things gotten this bad, so you shouldn't be apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong, Susan."

As Justin glanced back at his shoes he made note of how much he'd missed being able to talk to her so openly. Though he was somewhat embarrassed for having to admit his follies in this entire fiasco, he was glad he'd finally managed to tell her properly and in person. Those journals were definitely far too impersonal for stuff like this.

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 08:52 am UTC (link)

Susan took a deep breath, almost afraid of what he had to say. She did relax though as he said that it wasn’t her fault, despite the fact she felt it was. She had hoped he wouldn’t react the way he had over the whole thing, but he had his reasons right, which she was willing to accept. He at least was making it clear now. “It is alright Justin; we are all entitled to some bad times.” She inched herself a bit closer to him and leaned her head to the side a bit but wasn’t touching him. Susan really did miss the times they could just sit and talk like they use too, they had been good. They always had open conversation and she was so comfortable around him. She liked the way they had been and would have that if she couldn’t have something more intimate and official.

“You know you could have told me that, and I completely understand. I understand if you don’t want something because of that, or if you do want a relationship and not with me. Honestly I’m a big girl and will get over it.” Susan looked at her feet as she wiggled her toes in shoes that didn’t feel soggy, it was nice. She smiled as she looked back up at him. “You know you can talk to me about stuff. I’m willing just to listen if you ever need to talk about your parents or school or anything. I don’t know how well I would take you talking about other girls, but it isn’t to say I wouldn’t try.” Susan wanted them to be as close to normal as possible if she could handle it. Sure dating Justin would be fabulous but you can’t force someone right.

“I am happy that I told you how I felt, just wish things didn’t get as bad as they did. It has been something I have been meaning to tell you for a while, and almost did at the end of last year.” Susan looked up at him again her eyes not leaving him. “And despite the fact the kiss was short it was fantastic and far better than Michael Corner and I am happy it was my first.” Susan just sort of blurted it out nervously and awkwardly, she just wanted to tell him it. She was actually happy someone she actually felt something for was her first kiss.

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condign
2008-01-02 10:02 am UTC (link)

Justin was ready with a counter attack on Susan's whole..."understanding" act. But it seemed she just...kept going and going and when she finally stopped Justin had forgotten what he was going to say. He had to pause a long moment to think about an appropriate reply - he certainly hadn't been expecting that one.

"Your...first?" he asked rhetorically obviously at a loss of words. Seriously - her first kiss? Well...that made things a bit more awkward than he would have liked seeing as the kiss, as he recalled, was definitely not his best and far from it. Susan had never really struck him as the never been kissed sort and now that he knew he felt strangely obligated to her. It was hard to explain but knowing that he'd practically stolen her first kiss made the boy feel a bit guilty. He wasn't entirely sure why - but it probably had a lot to do with Justin never really being one for playing with untouched girls.

After he'd gotten over the whole business of mutually losing his innocence with his first physical girlfriend some years prior he'd always been involved with people who'd taken that step as well. Virgin's, especially now at their age, were like fragile trinkets you admired in a shoppe, but didn't dare touch or take home to play with. The politics involved with getting involved with them seemed like they'd be more trouble than they're worth. Not that...Susan wasn't worth it. Just...well... this entire thing was so bloody strange!

He closed his eyes tight and rubbed at his forehead as to rub away the mildly inappropriate thoughts going on in his head. He really shouldn't have been letting random flashes of him and Susan in a situation of losing/taking said virginity. All they ever did was kiss...and kiss badly for that matter. He was obviously working things up in his head that....weren't even related.

"Erm," he started soon after his original question, "...I'm glad you think I kiss better than ....Corner?" He was obviously uncertain of what he was saying. Until suddenly he shook his head and dropped his hand and forced himself to talk like a normal person. "I - look, Susan. You're driving me bonkers, here." He smirked timidly at her. To be honest he couldn't help but be somewhat amused. "One second you're telling me you don't think I have any obligation to returning your obviously well engrained feeling and then the next you're telling me I was your first ever kiss. Mixed signals are not cool." He chuckled nervously in hopes that if he kept his tone light she wouldn't get upset.

"I'm not stupid. I know that regardless of what you say...you want to know if I feel the same way about you and..." he sighed absently and tilted his head back on the wall and look to the ceiling. "And to be entirely honest, I don't know. I mean...it kind of pissed me off that you snogged Corner. And I'm not talking like timid jealousy. I seriously considered socking him one in the hall before dinner tonight." He grinned in amusement at himself and glanced over at Susan before returning his attention back to the ceiling. "I just...I've dated girl's I was friends with before hand...and when things fall apart it never goes back to the way it was."

"I don't know...if I want to risk that with you." He looked over at her with an honest concern.

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 10:38 am UTC (link)

The way he said that caused Susan to shift her weight awkwardly. Was it a wrong thing to tell him that he was her first kiss? Did it make things worse; did he not want to know that? Was he not happy it was him and not someone else? Susan also began to feel a little bit like a loser for having the whole first kiss experience wait until she was seventeen, had she not she wouldn’t have made this conversation awkward again. Apparently she did a good job of making things awkward when they shouldn’t be; she really needed to stop doing that. Susan felt speaking her mind was a trait she really sort of needed to work on.

Susan almost wanted to ask if it was weird she had never been physical with anyone, but figured that would only make things weirder. She looked over at him and bit her lip and tried not to appear sad or concerned. “Wasn’t it sort of obvious it was my first kiss? I don’t exactly seem like the type too do much of that.” Susan was completely awkward about anything physical or sexual. She use to cover up her body because she wasn’t ready to deal with the looks that she undoubtedly would get with her figure, her mother had warned her ahead of time, which probably didn’t help her thoughts about the whole breasts thing. Susan was really not the type to be found snogging anyone and honestly it made her laugh to think about it before. Some how she had landed herself two kisses in a span of four days, which was particularly stunning to her.

Her face obviously showed concern and shock, how was she possibly driving him bonkers. Susan wasn’t exactly sure she was doing anything. This whole thing was weird to her. “I don’t mean to give mixed signals.” How was she doing that? Susan was really confused about this. She had only told him something that she thought should be told. “I’m sorry; I just thought you should know. I didn’t mean to weird you out.” Susan said this nervously as she started to play with the hem of his sweater; it really was a nice sweater. “I guess I shouldn’t have told you, sorry.” She gave him an awkward apologetic look. Why the hell was she in this constant position of apologizing, it was driving her nuts.

“You know Justin I shouldn’t be apologizing. You were my first kiss, so what. You should be honoured. I didn’t hit you away, and I didn’t get angry at you. I even kissed you after. It isn’t like I yelled at you.” Susan looked at Justin and wanted to sorry getting stern with him. “Sorry for the stern tone and all.” She said this awkwardly as she sighed softly and bit her lip.

Susan heard what he had to say and looked back at him. Of course she wanted him to feel that way about her, but she wasn’t going to make a scene and not be his friend if he didn’t. Susan was about to say something but the whole thing about Michael threw her off. She appeared rather confused because she was. He wanted to do something to Corner because she had kissed him? She actually seemed a bit hopeful, but tired not to appear too hopeful at this.

Her eyes watched him, walking over him as he spoke about dating friends before. “I am worried about risking it with you too Justin, there is reason it has taken a year to tell you. Just our relationship as friends or whatever has already changed.” Susan looked down at her hand that was near the wall and she moved her hand to his arm and looked back at him. “I of course want you to like me back, but if you do and want to change our friendship then tell me. If you want to try and move back to what we were, forget that any of this happened then tell me. I don’t want to lose you as a friend or anything. I can’t say I don’t want you to return my feelings, but I will cope. It isn’t like I love you; I just like you more than a friend.” Susan sighed as she dropped her hand. She turned her frame and her shoulder leaned against the wall. She tipped her head against the wall and looked him over. “So, what do we do?” Susan sighed heavily and closed her eyes trying not to get all teary-eyed.

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condign
2008-01-02 11:25 am UTC (link)

Justin was more annoyed than relieved by Susan's willingness to just...drop everything she'd confessed to over the last few days. Did she honestly think that they'd be able to forget any of this ever happened? For one it wasn't like they had an oblivator on hand, and two...that's generally not how things like this worked. Justin could already foresee a great deal of tension if/when one of them made the step to really not take much care in what had happened over the last few days. The other party would act like they didn't care....but there'd be a new found tension that wouldn't be at all tasty.

Justin, being who he was, found himself strangely backed into a corner. Regardless of Susan's willingness to "cope" Justin was certain it'd be a nagging issue in the back of his head for the rest of the year. The situation would be something that he'd never truly forget and certainly not something he'd learn to appreciate. This was with out a doubt one of the reason's he'd not taken the news so well to begin with. And he recognized that he didn't like having things held over his head or looming in the background. It wasn't fair and above all else it made him feel guilty. And for Justin guilt was possibly the worst emotion ever. It had a tendency to sit and rot and smell of an everlasting bad mood.

While biting back the urge to tell Susan to stop bloody acting like it was so easy, he'd kept a firm focus on his shoes. Finally she asked the question he was certain one of them would bring up eventually. "Realistically," he offered slowly and with a shrug, "we're fucked." It was really as simple as that. "But the best way to deal with it would be to .... take things slow. I mean, I do like you, Susan. I just - I've just got other stuff going on right now...that needs to get settled first. And - well..." you've got a whole year a head of me on this business of liking more than friends.. "...we can see what happens. I mean, if you want." He offered her a glance to get a good read on her reaction.

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 11:39 am UTC (link)

Susan opened her eyes looking back at Justin, this was just terribly awkward. She turned to lean her back against the wall once more and closed her eyes again. This whole feeling of dropping everything and coping was bugging her. She wanted to seem like she could do it and would be fine, but it wasn’t going to be easy to do that. Susan didn’t even want to think how awkward this would make it. Susan wished it was as easy as she made it sound, and if that was what he would choose she would try.

Sighing she ran her fingers through her hair and turned back to him as he spoke. Yeah so they were fucked, that sounded wonderful. Susan was about to say something when he continued to talk and she turned to look at him. Susan didn’t say anything and just let him continue. She tried to appear calm but it was a lot harder than it looked. Justin was saying about taking things slow, that was good right? Then he was saying something about liking her. Susan had no idea what to say.

After a few minutes of just standing there looking like she had swallowed something funny she nodded her head. She looked back over to Justin and smiled at him. “That sounds good. Take it slow and see what happens.” Susan nodded her head again as she looked at Justin. So now she was stuck with what does she say or what does she do. In result she just stood there looking at him feeling like she was staring.

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condign
2008-01-02 10:17 pm UTC (link)

And she was staring, and Justin didn't exactly appreciate it. He returned her smile with a nervous one of his own and went to scratch his nose out of habit. He had a nervous scratching tick it seemed, when placed in awkward situations and this was certainly one of them.

"Well good then," he nodded at a mild loss for words. He wasn't entirely sure he was one-hundred perfect comfortable with his declaration himself...but he decided this was better than anything they could have concocted as a solution. It was the highest road there was and ... apparently he'd spontaneously purchased both their tickets with out much thought of what would happen next.

"Shall we, hug and make up then?" he asked as he returned to his full height and extended his arms to her. He wondered if somewhere in her head she thought they'd try that snog again. But - Justin decided that would defeat the purpose of 'taking things slow.'

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-02 10:35 pm UTC (link)

Susan turned her head away with fear of staring, which she figured she was. She looked down at her feet that she started to wiggle again in her shoes out of nervous habit, and looked back at him. Susan was worried about staring or doing something silly. She didn’t want to weird Justin out, which was apparently very important to her. She didn’t want to mess this up.

So they were moving slowly, this was good and something Susan could handle. Moving slowly was good with her because the whole idea was new to her. Susan didn’t want to ruin things with her awkwardness so moving slow seemed like a good idea to her.

Hugging, that sounded good to her. Susan moved closer to him and moved into his open arms. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. Susan sighed softly as she hugged him. This felt good, and nice and slow. Susan liked this.

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condign
2008-01-03 06:15 am UTC (link)

"Good talk," Justin said as he properly embraced her and offered Susan an exaggerated squeeze. He rocked his upper torso slightly to and fro and made a, "Mm-mm-mm" noise. With a smile he tentatively loosened his grip and backed away. He glanced at his wrist watch and realized that curfew was to take it's toll. "Seven minutes to curfew - after you me lady," he bowed his head theatrically and motioned his hand back toward the entrance of the Hufflepuff commons. "I've got to start that damned charms essay I've been putting off."

Out of habit, Justin had fallen back into a comfort level they'd been accustomed to. Rather he forced himself to at the very least seem like they'd jumped the hurtle and landed relatively well on their feet. He was over the awkwardness now that they'd had their talk and he was ready to just...move on. He absently hoped things would work out...for the most part.

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gotabonetopick
2008-01-03 06:28 am UTC (link)

Susan moved with him and sighed softly. He smelt so good, and getting a hug felt amazing. Susan was sad when he stepped back, but didn’t appear it, she just smiled at him. “Ah yes curfew,” she said as she slipped in through the door and nodded her head at his mention of the charms essay. “Well I will leave you too it.” He said this with a smile and waved at him as she started to walk away.

Susan hoped that things would remain like this unless they moved forward to something else. She didn’t want to go back to arguing with him, because they had been the most stressed moments so far this year. Susan liked having Justin as a close friend and yes closer would be nice but if it didn’t happen she still had a very close friend.

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