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e l l i o t ([info]fortunesfool) wrote in [info]valesco,
@ 2012-04-19 22:39:00


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Entry tags:elliot alderton, ellsinore alderton

Elsie!
He had not had the desire to hold a baby in years. His nephew and niece, they got stared at by Elliot from a distance, a smile and a wave. His sister was always trying to push them into his arms, in her subtle but ineffective ways. Elliot had even found himself becoming distant with his own son, even though he and Liam had never been a hands-on pair. Liam was much more confident than Elliot had ever been, and often found pleasure in just sitting in the same room, on the same couch, at the same table as his dad.

But it was this strange pull towards the nursery, as if he had some sort of invisible rope wrapped around his waist that would only stretch to their front door before snapping him back. Elliot had spent the last nine months racked with guilt, sick with worry, and to have the relief of this wonderful, lovely, beautiful baby girl! He just never wanted to leave her side.

"Is that right?" he said softly as Elysia let out some sounds. Elliot still was keeping his distance, if sitting at the end of her crib and peering over showed. While he knew that his daughter was healthy and not a monster like he was, Elliot was still cautious---he still didn't trust the healers and who knew what infants could be infected with. He pushed himself a little closer, chin resting on the bars of the crib, "I believe you're correct, Miss."



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[info]softwhatlight
2012-04-22 04:40 am UTC (link)
Her breakfast mostly untouched, Elsie stood and gripped the chair arms when the action cost her more effort than she'd have liked. Truthfully, she'd noticed that simply getting out of bed was getting to be more of a chore as the days passed. She'd tapped out her energy reserves for the better part of a year, so she supposed running on vapours was all she had left for now. Stooping to kiss the curly top of Liam's head, she touched a finger to his nose as the six-year-old squirmed good-naturedly, idly thinking she didn't feel much like a mother. Though she loved him unbelievably, Elsie accepted it as a personal flaw that she must not have maternal instincts for someone who hadn't come from her. Yet it was nearly a fortnight after Elysia, and still, she felt… empty.

No, she corrected as she walked to the nursery she hadn't dared step foot in two weeks ago, Elsie felt angry. For years, she had seen Noël, Eliza, Sophronia, and even Odette get what she wanted most but couldn't ever have. But lycanthropy and children didn't mix, so she'd made peace with it. Elliot was what was vital to her—what she needed—but it still wasn't easy. Instead, she was grateful just for Liam, if he was all she would be allowed. Then when those potions were recalled…

Elsie's fears had never been that it was a monster. How could such a thing be possible when half of its life came from Elliot? Even if it had been born a lycanthrope, they would have managed. What she feared most was that it would suffer. Be in pain. That maybe it was not a life that could be sustained. They'd never been able to learn the sex, and she'd been on bedrest so soon after. Don't get attached, the Healer had said. Her ailing health and the listless movements of the baby at the end suggested she might deliver stillborn, she was told. So Elsie did just that. She tried to hide her fears from Elliot, while discouraging complication-less possibilities. She'd tried her best to appear healthy and unconcerned to Liam. When the nightmare was over, they could work on putting this past them.

Except it never happened. No, she held a perfect, tiny baby girl with golden wisps on her soft crown and big, dark hazel eyes, and that quiet burst of joy had been muted by something ugly. The only problem was a less-than-ideal birth weight, which meant the fatigue, the illness, the complications had been the fault of Elsie and her body, and not of some unknown entity incubating in her. That might have been the harder truth to bear.

They said she was lucky.

How such a word could have been used when they'd been robbed of what should have been the happiest time in their lives, she didn't know. With that baby kicking and gurgling in her arms, all she could dwell on was what had been stolen from her. She dared think of names only once, and cried so hard she thought she hurt herself. Never had she read about parenthood, or infancy. Instead of happily grilling the mothers of her acquaintance for advice, for hand-me-downs, she'd hidden herself away from the world and lied about her condition. A dull, lifeless rage festered inside and made her feel nauseous, enveloping her, a girl who'd only ever known what it was to be sad when life was unfair to her.

Her eyes stung, and that too made her angry, because she was so tired of the tears she'd had no reprieve from for the better part of a year.

Stopping just outside the room, she heard Elliot's voice ripe with such awe and love that her breath hitched. Elsie didn't have a life-altering condition that made it nigh impossible to exist normally, but it wasn't she looking down with reverence at that tiny life they'd made together. Wiping away the tears that were spilling down her cheeks with the back of her hand, she slipped inside. Wrapping her arms around Elliot from behind, she laid her cheek against his back and thought about how long it had been since she could be close to him like this, at least physically. There was so much else to worry about with Liam, the baby, their finances, and the rest of their lives, she didn't want to wonder if she'd been pushing Elliot away all these months, consciously or not, trying to erect walls so she could be strong for him—even if she didn't quite succeed. Her arms tightened their hold.

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[info]fortunesfool
2012-04-23 07:08 pm UTC (link)
Elsie's love for him had never made sense. Elliot could not believe his luck when this beautiful woman walked into the restaurant that Valentine's day, that blind date he'd been set up on because he'd been a sorry sap of a man since his wife died. His wife, he had to call her, but even Millie knew that they'd only been together for the baby, that it was for appearances. How could one drunken night spent with a co-worker send his life down such a twisted path? If he hadn’t slept with Millie, he wouldn’t have Liam, and he would never have gotten married---he would never have had anyone get sick with the virus that cost so many their lives, he would have…he would have gotten a promotion at the ministry, he could probably be making the big galleons right now, his life would be…

…he’d be normal. Elliot ached for that sometimes. A lot. Any sense of normalcy his family created for him was short-lived, as the constant reminder of his true being was never far from his mind.

But he couldn’t think like that anymore. Even with the misery his condition brought him, brought Elsie, brought their entire family, Elliot had somehow managed to help bring a life into this world. The pregnancy had been mentally and physically miserable for Elsie, terrifying for himself, but now she was here. Elysia was here, she was perfect, there was nothing wrong with her so how couldn’t he be happy about that? He’d made something that didn’t ruin his life, they’d created this little baby that would actually love them unconditionally and didn’t have any sort of care in the world. Somehow, in this whole mess of a life he’d managed to thrust upon his son and wife, this little girl was born and she was beautiful in all meanings of the world.

His hands gripped around Elsie’s wrists as she held onto him, and Elliot let his head drop to the crib. He knew how strained his wife was, he knew that this was---more than an adjustment. Elsie had been the one putting on a good face all the times he felt like giving up, and now it was turn, from now on, to take that responsibility.

"I love you, you know that?" Elliot knew that he should have been able to say something more profound and meaningful, but he just pressed his lips together and took hold of her arm with his other hand. "I love you so much."

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