bess d. fawcett (bestzeller) wrote in valesco,
@ 2011-09-08 23:01:00

Entry tags:

Drystan! >>
With Sadie and Stephen having begged to stay over at their grandmother's for the night, Bess pushed her way back into their flat with Brian sound asleep against her chest. Her boy had exhausted himself, crawling like an animal around the spacious, baby-proofed cottage. Part of Bess had wished to stay along with her older two kids, finally feeling like her parents' home was a place of comfort and happiness, especially when her own flat had been filled with such anxiety and tension. She'd stayed the night in Sadie's room after her fight with Drystan, trying her best to make her daughter think it was just a girls-night sleepover. Sadie hadn't been fooled, however, and her daughter's concern had made it very hard to go the night without crying.

That cold disappointment was the worst feeling she'd ever had during her marriage to Drystan. It was the one thing she never thought she would feel, and Bess couldn't imagine how she was going to fix this. She hadn't been able to talk to Penny, and hoped that the girl had managed to avoid her husband while he was away at quidditch practice.

He would be home now though, hopefully. As anxious as she was to really see him since the fight, Bess needed to know that he hadn't left. Merlin, she didn't know if he could handle it if Drystan wasn't home.

"Hello?" she called out, hoping to hear a response. Or maybe he wouldn't respond, and she'd have to go looking for him, but as long as he was there...

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brythonichero
2011-09-09 06:25 am UTC (link)

He'd thrown a chair.

He'd been so uselessly angry after Penelope had run out, it needed to expunge itself some way, any way. And it was true, for the moment after it had struck the wall and broken, he felt good. Exceptionally good, as if throwing something else, breaking anything else, might make him feel even better.

Just as he reached for the second one, though, the feeling dissipated, quick as it had come.

No, there was just anger. Interminable, plateauing anger that he could not get rid of, and was not sure he wanted to.

For the last hour, or so it seemed, he stood and studied his handy work, the broken pieces of wood lying within a five-foot radius of the wall he'd hurled it at. When he would clean it, he felt the urge to do it without magic, to pick up each splintered part and perhaps feel it catch on his hands.

When he heard her call, he fought between cold indifference and the hot temper that was bubbling just underneath the surface. What made up his mind, though, was the controlling himself around Sadie, Stephen, and Brian. Before he'd decided to answer her or not, he heard foosteps approaching—just the one set, it seemed.

"Feel as though you might have an explanation for me today?" He kept his back turned, his voice just south of neutral.

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bestzeller
2011-09-09 09:05 pm UTC (link)

Bess slowly crept toward her husband, pulling Brian closer to her chest, her hand covering the back of his head. Was that a chair smashed on the ground? Were those picture frames fallen and shattered all around it? A fast terror grew inside her chest and Bess stopped her approach, instinctively turning the baby away from this mess.

"What the hell happened!" she let out, not bothering to answer his question, her voice ringing in the silence of the flat. Silence. Bess' mind whirled with worry; Penny would've been out here in an instant if she'd heard the crash the chair must have caused. Where was she?

Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to bring her up at the moment, though, because that meant more lies, and Drystan was already in a questioning mode. Maybe he'd even found out, but Bess was much to concerned about the state he seemed to be in to care about keeping secrets, "What were you thinking!"

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brythonichero
2011-09-09 10:39 pm UTC (link)

"What happened is I threw a chair. I thought it might make me feel better." The words were petulant, the delivery far from it.

Drystan faced her, slowly, his jaw set and his eyes narrowed. He saw Brian, wanted to go to his son, but restrained himself, because that would calm him, yes, but it would fog the issue, keep him from dealing with the ones causing the fit of temper he couldn't remember feeling in years.

"I've answered your questions. Now perhaps you'll return the courtesy."

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bestzeller
2011-09-09 11:06 pm UTC (link)

She had been dealing with children and fussy people since she'd left Hogwarts. Bess did not have the patience for Drystan's snippy, short remarks, and her concern for her husband quickly (though not completely) fizzled. She didn't deserve to be spoken to like that, especially not when she held their son in her arms. Bess lifted her chin, jaw set, and her eyes narrowed with her twisted lips.

It was obvious now that he'd found out about Penny. Bess knew that Drystan would be mad about her secret rendezvous, but a young girl had been smitten by a handsome quidditch player. Sound familiar? How could he really blame his sister for that? If Bess hadn't seen the destroyed chair on the floor, she would have joked about having fancied Charlie herself while in Hogwarts. That would probably be something she should never mention, ever.

"I'm putting him down," she said simply, shaking her head in disgust. It was easier to be mad at him for causing such a mess, it made the fear lurking inside her easier to cope with. Bess knew that her husband had a temper, but she'd never seen him angry enough to destroy something, especially in their home. She turned quickly to put Brian in his crib, and on the way saw that Penny's door was wide open, her room empty. Bess shook her head and turned into the nursery, putting her son down as fast as possible because her anger was growing with each passing second.

Bess didn't like to be mocked, she didn't like to be talked down to, and yes---okay, she had lied to Drystan, but it was more than clear that her husband knew what had been going on, and he was still almost--taunting her about it! Bess stormed back out into the living room, her hands up in complete disbelief.

"You don't smash furniture because your sister is seeing a boy!" she let out, shaking her head. Bess put her hands on her hips, but they flew up again, "There are going to be pieces of wood and glass everywhere, and you've got three kids running around here constantly, and for what!" No, no, she'd seen enough violence in her life to just excuse his display because he was angry. No one was allowed to behave like that in her home.

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brythonichero
2011-09-09 11:41 pm UTC (link)

It was like a sickness, one that Drystan couldn't stop. To eke out the tender spots and needle, claw at them to satisfy that psychotic urge to hurt things as deeply as he felt hurt, himself. Whether it had been festering inside him all the while, waiting out the perfect moment for him to snap before consuming him, or if it was as simple and cruel as flipping a switch, it had its hooks in him and he was robbed of even the ability to want it to stop. But that poisonous streak was losing its edge, like hurling itself headfirst into an unmovable wall over, and over, realizing nothing was getting better, simply worse.

"No?" he asked coldly, "is my temper tantrum allowed when my wife allows her husband to be cornered into thinking she's having an affair? When she hides the fact that his sister is going down a path of self-destructive behavior? When she knows that girl's life is drowning her, and keeps it from the person who has the most right to know? What about then, Bess?" that indifferent coolness that was such an integral part of his make-up, that was the first trait people described him with, wavered, his voice shaking for the second time that day as notes of desperation crept into it. Mind the baby, he told himself wretchedly , mind Brian, don't—. When he managed to speak again, it was lower, if more strained. "Is it acceptable then?"

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bestzeller
2011-09-10 12:26 am UTC (link)

"I told you it wasn't what you thought!" Bess let out, her hands not knowing what to do with themselves as they flailed about, "I told you it was nothing, that you should trust me and believe me over some stupid picture that showed absolutely nothing! How many times have you been photographed at events standing too close to women or laughing at their jokes and I've just---given you a glare!"

All right, she may have been a bit more fussy about it than a glare, but with a few kisses she was always back on track. No, Drystan had allowed his mind to wander into dangerous territory, letting his trust for her waver over stupid things, over silly things, and she would have never jumped to such conclusions if he told her otherwise. "I was trying to give Penny the chance to---"

Bess stopped herself, listening to Drystan exaggerate. Her eyebrows went up in confusion, "She's got a boyfriend, Drystan, and she was terrified to tell her big, overprotective brother about it, that's hardly self-destructive behavior!"

Merlin, he must've thought Bess was quite the slag before he got to know her if that's how his mind went! The thought made her bristle, and she finally crossed her arms over her chest to control herself.

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brythonichero
2011-09-10 01:15 am UTC (link)

The difference, he wanted to exclaim, shout at her, was I always explained! You always knew the circumstances, I never hid anything from you. You didn't used to, either, but it wasn't the thread he wanted to pursue. What he felt, which at the moment was quite a lot and nothing at all, was cast aside by the two people in the world he thought he loved the most, dramatic as it was. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was that terrible sense of being shut out, and he couldn't, he wouldn't let that happen without a fight. So, he simply stared at her. "Nevermind that she made it abundantly clear that they were not together in a relationship, you believe the fact that she lies to me every morning about the job she doesn't have, that you let her that she lies and hides things and sneaks around, that she's letting Spinnet—use her, this is healthy?" Drystan's face was a bitter combination of mocking increduility and hurt. "These are normal patterns of behavior for a young girl just out of school, protecting herself from her overprotective brother."

He moved closer to the broken chair, wanting to kick it, wanting that violent edge to be back for just a moment.

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bestzeller
2011-09-10 10:03 pm UTC (link)

Bess' mouth was dropped, open and ready to retort, but her mind had not caught up with his words. Her face contorted into one of confusion, and she dropped her hands. What Drystan was saying didn't make sense. Penny had said---she had a job, she...

Her hands stayed limp at her side, all of her steam being lost. Had Penny let her keep this secret from Drystan but had been lying about it all? Was Spinnet really just a fling, did she...Bess had no idea what to think, and she felt remarkably foolish for it. She had been trying to be a supportive sister-in-law, and instead had hurt her husband in the process. Bess had no idea how she could have gone from finding Drystan's over reaction ridiculous to feeling completely ashamed of herself in a matter of seconds, but the ice cold reality of the situation had drowned her anger.

"She's not working?" Bess asked softly, unable to catch her husband's eye. What an idiot she felt like. What an idiot. "What did---why...did she say why? What---" Her eyes darting to the smashed chair on the ground started to help her blood heat up again; what had Drystan done to her when he found out that Penny was nowhere to be found? "What did you say to her?"

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brythonichero
2011-09-11 03:49 am UTC (link)

He clung to the anger because what lay beyond it terrified him, but he too was losing steam faster than he could recover. It was plain to see that Bess knew nothing about this side of his sister's duplicity, even though he cringed at the harsh word. Furious as he had been, and still was, she was his sister. Before their family had been killed, Drystan would never dream of using such a word on her. He also would never have laid a hand on her as he did this afternoon. Shame coiled hot in his gut, but he refused, absolutely refused, to cater to it, and so turned it into his fast-deflating temper as well.

"She said she'd failed all her N.E.W.T.s, thus there were no offers to begin with. I don't know if that's true or not." Because I don't know if anything that's come out of her mouth in the last year is true. "So I told her what she'd done was wrong. I said I was disappointed in her, because it's true." He also threw in her face what their dead parents might have to say on the subject, as well as rubbed in her face that her life was a dead-end and there was no one in her life she could depend on because she'd either betrayed the relationship or it wasn't a real one to begin with. "It was… harsh, I expect, but deservedly so."

Because Penelope was wrong! She had acted out, in her own way, and he was simply dealing with her as he would have any other child in his care that was in trouble.

So if that was the case, how was that feeling of sickness inside of him explained? His guilty eyes slunk away from Bess's frame, unable to face her.

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bestzeller
2011-09-11 03:44 pm UTC (link)

"That's the kind of talk that breaks a girl's heart," Bess let out, the slight flare of anger she had coming back to her disappearing as all her energy deflated. Hearing Drystan's words to Penelope struck her hard in the heart, vividly reminding her of her own father's words. When she'd come back from Hogwarts and revealed to them that she was pregnant, that Chester had no intention of marrying her or doing anything for the baby---the look of disgrace and disappointment and...Bess could only imagine how harsh Drystan had been.

Shaking her head, Bess started toward the broken chair, pulling out her wand to start cleaning up the mess. She bent down to get a closer look at everything, feeling tired from the fight and the mental stress and just...everything. Part of her wished that she had stayed with Sadie and Stephen at her mother's house, but she was somewhat glad she'd found Drystan when she did. Who knew how he would've released the rest of his anger?

"I'm sorry," she said, putting a hand to her head. The last thing she ever wanted to do to Drystan was give him unnecessary stress, and look how it had blown up in their face. It seemed a long time coming, it let Penny reveal what has been troubling her for so long, it...they would get better because of this. Bess wanted to tell Drystan that they'd be fine, that Penny would be fine once they found her or talked to her, but her voice got caught on her tears, "I'm sorry."

She'd been trying to help his sister, but all she'd done was make it worse. They'd let things blow up before even giving it the chance to get resolved; Bess covered her face with her hands, wand dropping to the floor because everything was so mucked up right now and she had no idea how to fix it. She'd never wanted anyone in her home to feel the way Penny must and---they could've done everything differently.

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brythonichero
2011-09-11 06:50 pm UTC (link)

Her words were first a slap to him. But the choked out sorry, the sight of his wife kneeling on the floor to take care of his mess was harsher than even a kick to the stomach. Of all the times he'd silently berated her parents, wondered at how cruel they could be… suddenly he becomes that very same sort of person? The temper was sapped from him in an instant, leaving in its wake a terrible and consuming anguish. Drystan pulled out his own wand and hurried to fall to his knees beside her, pulling her hands away from the evidence of his raging.

"Bess, don't," he pleaded softly, heedless of the break in his voice, of his throat closing, and also of the alien sensation of hot tears prickling in his eyes.

Perhaps, though his hysteric irrationality refused to consider it, perhaps all this was the reaction Drystan had to losing someone. Because once again, someone he loved was going to leave him, and if her mind was made, there was nothing he could do about it. Perhaps, if he only pushed her away first, it wouldn't hurt quite so badly when she did go. And then when she wasn't, when she wasn't removing herself from his life, there was the terrible need to punish her for the fact that she could, because one day she could realize she deserved better and with a wave of the wand, it would all disappear from his life. And, he thought with a cringe, he might have already lost the other person who meant the world to him.

His breath hitched. "Bess, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry, please don't, I'll do it. I'll take care of it, I promise."

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bestzeller
2011-09-11 09:35 pm UTC (link)

As---upset, and disappointed, and frustrated and just confused as she was with everything, with her husband, Bess didn't hesitate in lurching toward him. She crashed into his chest and her arms slung around him tightly because----this was more than just hiding a little sister's secret boyfriend, this was uncovering more than a year's worth of depression and anguish for Penelope. This was...unleashing something in Drystan that she'd never seen before and didn't know how to help.

She could be there for him. Bess would be there for Drystan, and for Penelope if she wanted her to be. It was all she could do, and she had to work hard to keep this family from completely dissolving. Hearing the cracks in his voice nearly killed her and...Bess kissed the side of his face, muttering over and over a quiet 'I love you,' because it was literally all she could do right now.

"We'll be all right," she whispered with a shaky breath, not loosening her grip on Drystan.

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