bianca p. aubrey (persephones) wrote in valesco,
@ 2010-11-03 22:30:00

Entry tags:

Backdated! Bertram!
This was going to be fine. They were going to be fine. If Bertram didn't want to go along with everything, then okay! She was an independent woman, she'd be able to raise this baby by herself. And, honestly! He was a single dad! He would definitely understand that things like this just happen, and she didn't go and get herself pregnant like some crazy love-struck wench to keep him tied to her----

---oh, God, would he think that? She hadn't pressured him into saying 'I love you,' or anything like that! Hell, she'd recoiled at Mira's not-so-happy joke about Bertram basically living at their flat. They weren't serious enough to have a baby together, but what was she supposed to do? It was--she wanted this baby, she did, that wasn't the question, it was just the fact that wanting this baby might ruin the best relationship she'd had in years--or, ever, really--

She'd been sitting on the edge of the Ministry's fountain inside the Atrium and jumped when Bertram's face appeared in her line of vision. Bianca smiled up at him weakly and remained seated, her hands wrung together tightly. She'd picked the latest break to go on lunch because the Atrium was usually empty (ministry workers tended to take their breaks early, not very many morning people around here, like Bianca), and she had made up her mind that she could not go another day without telling Bertram. She'd already known for two weeks!

"Right on time!"

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pantsoptional
2010-11-04 12:55 am UTC (link)

He resisted the urge to make a joke about always coming on time, mostly because ... well, there wasn't really anyone around to hear him and Bianca would probably smack him one for it anyway. He'd stepped into the ministry expecting it to be a little busier, but he was pleasantly surprised that it would be more or less just himself and Bianca. They didn't always get much time during the week together with Bianca's busy schedule and ...

Just Bianca's busy schedule, really.

He leaned in for a quick kiss and then simply grinned. "So, where am I taking you for lunch and how late can I make you for work?" She needed to take more breaks from things, anyway -- he wasn't sure how she wasn't constantly tired.

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persephones
2010-11-04 01:07 am UTC (link)

Her eyebrows rose. She couldn't be late, but she just smiled and shrugged as if she would actually allow him to drag her around. Bianca did appreciate Bertram's way of life, he had kept her sane and calm during times when she'd been ready to crack under the pressure of her job and the war. She hoped that she'd be able to remember those calming methods as she felt her heart begin to pound in a frantic, nervous fashion as she forced herself to remain seated.

"Can we talk?" she said instead of giving him a dining suggestion. Bianca smiled, hoping that she didn't look as worried and nauseous as she felt. Maybe the nausea was just from the baby, but--she knew that it wasn't just that.

"Then we can go to lunch, if you want---" if he still wanted.

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pantsoptional
2010-11-04 01:11 am UTC (link)

Okay, so ... admittedly, Bertram had never really been in a relationship that was serious enough or that had lasted long enough for the girl to figure out that he was actually a complete slob, not exactly all that funny, and only a little good in bed.

Obviously Bianca was going to break up with him and then try to do the weird 'we can still be friends, right?' thing that girls supposedly did (although he wasn't particularly good friends with Franzy or Rachel, so there was that theory debunked). He blinked, surprised, and then shoved his hands into his pockets so he could look over to her.

"Er, yeah. And if this is about you getting breast implants, I am 100% behind you."

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persephones
2010-11-04 01:18 am UTC (link)

Bianca blinked slowly at Bertram, her glare unstoppable in that moment. Except, now that she thought about it, she was going to grow in that area, it was just a more natural kind of thing---She huffed quickly through her nose and sat up straighter, crossing her arms over her--chest, no she put her arms down, now, and pressed her feet flat on the floor.

"Look, I---I'm just going to say it," which she really wasn't, because Bianca was already thinking of other things she might have to talk to Bertram about, like him getting a job, or his own flat so that his mother couldn't walk in on them snogging, "I know we haven't been together that long, but it's been---amazing, and I really---I know you don't exactly know if you love me but I know that I---"

Bianca ran a hand over her face, feeling ready to throw up into the fountain behind her. That would be perfect, wouldn't it? She had to be brave, she faced down death eaters and all of their nasty hexes, why couldn't she deal with just the thought of being rejected by Bertram?

"I'm pregnant." Bianca squeezed her eyes shut because she couldn't stand to see his face. Her cheeks were a deep red and she was sure she'd stopped breathing, but she couldn't do anything more than wait for his response.

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pantsoptional
2010-11-04 01:21 am UTC (link)

...damn his super-efficient man-sperm. He was going to have to start investing in those bloody muggle contraceptives with the alarming frequency with which he'd gotten women pregnant. Perhaps Franzy wasn't even capable of having kids, that was probably why he hadn't gotten her pregnant and --

It wasn't like he hadn't had to deal with having a kid before. In fact, maybe he could use Amissa to help with this -- new kid on the way, all things considered -- to make things easier. He hadn't really had to be around Rachel when she'd been pregnant, but at least he had experience changing nappies and that sort of thing.

"So your boobs are going to get bigger," he managed after a moment, resisting the urge to do something stupid like reach forward and honk them.

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persephones
2010-11-04 01:29 am UTC (link)

She choked on her laugh and nodded, wiping away a few tears that had fallen. Bianca turned to Bertram, her tongue absolutely tied in knots because she had no idea what to say after that. What could she? The ball was in his hands now, he could take it and run or he could stay here, with her. Maybe she'd be able to convince him if she could catch her breath and stop her tears.

Bianca really hated crying. It was something she used to do a lot throughout Hogwarts because she'd been so dramatic, but after her brother's murder, throughout her time as a hitwizard, she'd come to learn that there were very few things worth crying over, so--it was so strange to not be able to control her tears, and she ducked her head as she continued to wipe at her face.

"I dunno--what to say now," she managed, nearly hiccuping through her tears. At least it wasn't a shoulder wracking kind of cry, that would be embarrassing.

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pantsoptional
2010-11-04 01:32 am UTC (link)

Wait, she was crying? There had been a lot more screaming and throwing objects the last time that a girl had told him that she was pregnant and frankly, that had been part of the reason he'd tried to avoid Rachel through that whole thing. The other part was where he was pretty sure that she'd only slept with him because he'd gotten her drunk on wine coolers and she'd felt fat that day.

"Uh." Bertram stepped forward and took her hand to give it a brief squeeze, "I mean, you're probably not even going to get that fat because you get a lot of exercise at work, so you shouldn't worry about that!" Right, because that was definitely what she had to worry about here.

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persephones
2010-11-04 01:39 am UTC (link)

As much as she loved Bertram, sometimes it was obvious how much growing up he still needed to do. Bianca shook her head, forcing herself to remain calm and now blow anything out of proportion. He thought she was worried about getting fat? Or was he just joking, trying to make light of this very situation? She couldn't tell, and Bianca just shook her head with a sigh.

"It's not--I'm happy," she said out loud, for the first time (she'd mostly just cried from the initial terror, to Mira). "I'm happy, it's just---are you--? We don't--we don't even live together or--I mean..."

She wasn't going to bring up the fact that he hadn't told her he loved her, she wasn't because she was going to be the bigger person here and totally not care that her boyfriend (and FATHER OF HER CHILD) couldn't just say some stupid words.

Right. Bianca was completely fine with the lack of verbal devotion. It was her hormones that weren't.

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pantsoptional
2010-11-04 02:07 am UTC (link)

"Well, if you're happen then I'm happy." He did actually like kids, honestly, and it wasn't like he was the one who had to carry around the kid inside of him and then try to push it out of his lady-area in a way that he had been assured was like the worst session of alcohol-induced vomiting happening at the same time as being kicked in the balls.

He smoothed his hand over the back of his neck again and then looked over to the door. No, he wasn't thinking about escaping. He was thinking ...

"We should probably get to that lunch before you tell me something stupid like 'well it's too late now' and retreat back to your office."

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