WHO: Zach Sloper & Brianna O'Hara
WHAT: Zach has... kittens?
WHEN March '78
WHERE: Hogwarts grounds
Zach didn't keep pets, they were dirty and one had to have a level of responsibility to care for one and he had neither the time nor patience to keep anything other than a fish and fish really weren't allowed at Hogwarts. But Zach did like to go out to the Game Keeper's hut and watch some of the animals and Hagrid, although wary because he was a Slytherin, sometimes let him pet the animals. And it somehow happened that the gigantic grounds keeper had acquired a litter of kittens (or rather, they looked like kittens, one could really never tell with Hagrid) from a student who's cat had given birth a few weeks back. Each student could technically only have one pet, so Hagrid was getting ready to take all of the kittens off to the pet shop and well, Zach, being kind hearted and having a generous soul, offered to take one of the kittens off Hagrid's hands. There was no reason for them to have to grow up in a dirty stupid petshop and when Hagrid wasn't looking, Zach swiped a second one before taking off. Its not like Hagrid would notice, there were like eight more in that box.
They were siblings, you couldn't separate siblings! Zach thought to himself as he bundled them in his cloak, smiling to himself as they curled up against his chest, purring heavily. "Now, lets see if we can't find a house-elf to get you some nibblets. Hagrid said just water and some grass to nibble on and you have to be nice to the house-elves, because they might get you some cream and you can scratch your claws on Regulus' curtains, but not mine and -oof," Zach had been looking down and talking to the kittens in his cloak, he didn't notice where he was going. He ended up on his arse in the snow just next to the steps leading inside. He looked up and glowered. Of course, Brianna. She had to just get into everything, "What are you doing there? Can't you see I was walki-" Zach cut himself off as his cloak bulged and moved around before two kitten heads popped out of his collar, mewling slightly. Great.
Brianna arched an eyebrow at the Slytherin at her feet before rolling her eyes in frustration. Fucking--really, all she wanted to do was take a stupid walk around the stupid grounds and stupid Zach Sloper had to be there talking to his stupid cloak and being an all-around weirdo like he usually was. Stupid stupid stupid. "Last time I checked, I was free to walk where I bloody please," she responded defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest. "And who said I walked into you, you were the one talking to your chest and I hardly think that--"
Just then, her small tirade was stopped dead, the sight of... what--was that--were those kittens peeking their fuzzy heads out of Zach Sloper's robes? Oh--oh no way! Brianna stared at their cute little baby faces for only about two seconds before she broke into an absolute fit of laughter. Why! This was like, the funniest thing she'd seen in--oh ages, why--big bad, arsehole Slytherin Zach was carrying around a pair of bloody kittens and talking to them like some little girl?
This was so good. So so so good. Just wait til the school heard about this one ohhhh--!
Briana was almost rolling, she just couldn't stop laughing, oh, this was going to kill her ahahahahahah!
Zach scrambled to his feet as best he could without dropping the cats out of the bottom of his cloak (which would have been hard to do because their little claws were digging into his jumper and chest). He glared at Brianna, lifting his chin as she laughed at him. He kind of hoped she passed out dead from lack of oxygen. Why was she still laughing? It wasn't like he was wearing a skirt or anything.
He pushed the kittens back down into his cloak and tapped his foot against the ground, "Fine fine, yuck it up, right, that's it, keep laughing Banana. I thought the Hufflepuff mascot was a badger but clearly they're letting hyenas into Hogwarts," Zach crossed his arms over his chest, to look imposing, but also to support the kittens because, ow, cat claws were sharp, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to be on my way."
Oh, she totally didn't even care about his insults, they were like nothing to her because he was the one walking around the grounds cute talking kittens. Suddenly, pretty much nothing he said stung at all ohhh--this was so brilliant, she was never going to let him forget it.
"Aw, Zachy, did I hit a sore spot?" she asked between giggles, which were hardly about to die down. Oh, her chest hurt from all the laughing but she just couldn't stop, it was waaaaaaay too amusing. "I can't wait to see your roomates' faces when they hear about this--Zach Sloper, secret obsession with cute, fuzzy kittens! You know, the school paper would love to get a hold of this story!"
It was really cruel of her to not just let him go, but what the hell. Every time she told him to sod off, he kept on bothering her. Why not give the lousy git a taste of his own medicine for once?
"Shut up!" Zach shouted at her, "Don't call me that!" Only Owen was allowed to call him Zachy, no one else. How dare she use that name and tease him. He clenched his jaw and glared at her harder. There were times in life where he really wished he could just. Set stuff on fire with his eyes. Right now would be an excellent time. She wouldn't think it was so funny when the hem of her robe caught on fire, now would it?
"Just shut your trap Brianna!" He really didn't want Antonin or Regulus finding out about the kittens, but she didn't need to know that, "And where else do you think I would keep them? In a closet?" he scoffed. Most likely he'd just put up wards around his bed and keep them in there until they were less kittenish and more cat like and less apt to be ridiculed. "You're just jealous because Hagrid gave me them and you don't have any," he said, a little snottily.
Brianna literally snorted at that, despite the fact that she was trying to look as little taken aback as she could by how angry he was getting. Pssh, whatever, it didn't matter if he was getting mad, he should get mad after how much time he'd spent pissing her off for so long. What the fuck, it was downright satisfying to see him acting like this. She could get to him too, if she wanted. Stupid bastard could yell all he liked.
So she was satisfied, she was happy--until he said that last. In almost an instant, her triumphant grin turned to a fierce glare, and she could literally feel her short fuse burning away at itself.
"Why the hell would I be jealous of someone like you?" she retorted, just as snottily, but with a stab of venom--because ew, yeah right! "You're the biggest arse I've seen in my whole life, Zachy, I'd be crazy to be jealous of you or anything you have. I'd never be jealous of a pathetic jackass like you."
Merlin, did she not take a hint?! It was a really, really good thing she was a girl because if she'd been a bloke, he'd've already punched her in the face. And she was sorely tempting him with his itchy wand hand. Too bad it was in his pocket and stupid kittens! One was licking his chin now and it was hard to suppress a grin at that. He batted the kitten away, lifting his chin a little higher to look down his nose at her. Which he could, because he was taller than her. Not by much, he was only maybe three inches taller, but still he was taller.
"You must be going insane then because I'm smarter, cooler and cuter than you," he smirked triumphantly, "I have new pets and you don't. I can fly circles around you and your team and don't call me Zachy!," Zach finished, gritting his teeth. She was still calling him that and he wasn't a jackass! She was just a bitch or something, because clearly he was good and nice because he was adopting two kittens and who the fuck was she! God she made him so angry should just. Walk away now.
"All you're really succeeding in getting me to think about you is that you're a fucking pouf, Zachy," Brianna said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Cuter, on you've got new pets, oh how adorable!" she taunted him cheekily. "Why don't you go on to your bedroom and play dress up with them and have a little tea party? You could get out all your pretty pink ribbons and makeup and oh, oh it'd be so cute--I agree, much cuter than me, oh Zachy dear!"
Brianna was a total expert at being a mean little brat, yeah--she'd had a lot of practice making fun of Fiona and Tom when she was little. Of curse, Zach was much more fun to make fun of because he was a total bitch to her so much of the time that it was fulfilling to hurt his feelings for once. She'd gotten her own feelings hurt far too many times without seeing any sort of retribution. He deserved this, he deserved everything she had to say to him.
NOW SHE WAS CALLING HIM A GIRL! Zach growled and glared at her hard, "STOP CALLING ME ZACHY!" he shouted in her face, so close to actually slapping her. He huffed and undid his cloak, setting the kittens on the ground and storming off to the door. He didn't need some stupid kittens if they were going to make him look girly. No one called him a girl and got away with it! She was so going to get it!
Zach was nearly inside when he heard the kittens mewling and he looked over his shoulder, glaring at them but they just looked so cold in the snow and Aarggh. Zach growled again and stomped over to pick them up. No way was he going to let Banana win like that. He scooped them up, one in each arm and barely resisted sticking his tongue at her but- if she thought he was an arse, why not be one fully? Zach smirked evilly and leaned forward, kissing Brianna full on the mouth before running off. He needed to get out of there before she found her wand. Maybe he could hide in that closet on the second floor.
Brianna could hardly believe--what the--THAT STUPID LITTLE FUCKER!
She raised up a hand to slap him--oh oh she was going to slap him so hard too, he wouldn't even remmeber what he'd done, yes, that's just how hard--but he was already running away, in--fucking--"AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" she screamed, anger and frustration coursing through her like never before. How dare that motherfucking---how dare he kiss her and--SHE HATED ZACHARY SLOPER SO FUCKING MUCH.
Once he was out of sight, Brianna let out another scream of frustration before storming off in the opposite direction. He was going to pay for this, she was going to wring his cocky little neck.
