Who: Eliza Alderton and Dedalus Diggle
What: Apologies, tears, and kisses, oh my!
Where: Outside of their flat
When: Today!



There was really only so long that she could stay at her father's house. And--there was really only so long that she could have him think that her flat was going through some ward and charms repair, because...it didn't take this long. Her father, bless him, was rather scatterbrained and didn't notice much outside of the store, but even he had noticed that Dedalus had not come over once during this whole time. Busy, Eliza had told him, busy at the hospital, busy---just. Busy.

Praying rather hard that Dedalus wasn't home, Eliza struggled with getting the key in the hole of their front door. Damn, damn, she shouldn't be so nervous about running into her boyfriend. The boyfriend she lived with, the boyfriend she loved and...and hurt, and---No! See? Why did she always have to apologize for everything, even when she believed she was right? It wasn't fair, she was allowed to have her own opinion on things and...damn it, she'd taken Elliot's keys.

Their security wards prevented entrance from just apparation, so Eliza was stuck out here until Dedalus came home. Damn it all. It felt like---every time things started to go good, something went wrong and they were stuck and she didn't want to be stuck and all she wanted to do was get her bloody paper so that she could start designing Dedalus' birthday card and her birthday was coming up too and so was their anniversary and---and----

Eliza let out a frustrated sound and kicked the door, once, twice, and then finally just dropped down to the ground to sit on the ground in front of the door, thumping her head back into it. With her eyes shut and the sound of her head bouncing off the wood she didn't hear someone approach, and only when they were standing in front of her did she open her eyes to look up.

Of course. "Hi," she said dully to Dedalus, though her heart started to pound at the sight of him. It was remarkably good to see him. She didn't move to let him in, and---no, she really didn't want to go inside at the moment.

A heavy sigh escaped from Dedalus’ mouth as he took the walk up the flight of stairs to get to the apartment. His body was tense, and there was definitely a knot that was getting bigger and bigger as time went by, set right between his shoulder blades. He tried rolling them back to ease the discomfort a bit, but it nothing really helped. He had tried taking potions to calm him down at night, just so he was able to sleep, but he was sure that the only way it would go away was when this fight with Eliza was over. He thought about her constantly, but he tried to force himself to not think about her. It was impossible though. Everything he saw reminded him of her, and no matter how mad at her he was, he couldn’t help but miss her.

Why couldn’t he be like other people? Why couldn’t he not care, and just be angry? He wanted to be. He really did want to just be mad at her and not wonder how she was doing, or what she was doing, but he did. He wasn’t that type of person, though. It didn’t matter that he thought she was wrong, that he felt hurt by what she had done; he still wanted to just have her back, and have things go back to how they were. He wanted to be able to trust her again. But most of all, he just wanted her again. He was sure that the tension he was feeling was partially due to the feeling he got every time he thought that maybe she had really left him. That maybe things were…over for them. His stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought. Couple’s had broken up over smaller things than something like this, hadn’t they? But maybe they used those small things as excuses, because they didn’t really care about each other anymore. Did Eliza not care anymore? The last thing she had said to him, or…the last message she had sent him was that she loved him, so that had to mean something, right? She didn’t just leave without saying anything, but they hadn’t spoken since. It just…he couldn’t relax until things were settled.

He jingled the keys in his hand, his other hand slipped into his jean pocket, staring at his old converse shoes as he approached their apartment, only looking up when he heard loud banging noises. He immediately focused in on Eliza, who seemed to be trying to open the door by force, since she couldn’t get inside. He stood frozen for a moment, but swallowed and took steps towards her, stopping in front of her as he looked down at her. “Hi.” His own response was spoken just as lame as her own, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting again as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, biting at the inside of his cheek. “Need the key…?” His eyes met hers again, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could. His voice was quiet though. Not a whisper by any means, and he wasn’t particularly loud to begin with, but it was different enough for someone to notice. Especially someone who heard him talk quite often, like Eliza.

Or at least, she used to.

She watched him for a moment before looking down again, eyes skittering across the floor as she tried to figure out what she was feeling. Excited to see him, worried about getting into another fight, terrified that he was going to tell her he was moving out or---that he wanted her to, and...

Were they allowed to get better, if they didn't talk about it? Eliza blinked a few times. She would be so glad to just stop thinking about everything (Miranda was already gone, there was nothing more anyone could do) and work on fixing their relationship...no, not even that, she just wanted to hug Dedalus again and kiss him and not want to cry at the thought of him being mad at her. She just wanted to...she wanted to be okay again. They were happy before all of this nonsense with Ralph and sure she knew that the Order and its business wasn't going to go away, but if they worked on things and tried their hardest not to let it ruin them, then they'd be okay.

But she really didn't feel like explaining all of that outloud to him.

"I applied for the nursing program at St. Mungo's," she said, looking back up at Dedalus and biting the inside of her cheek for a moment. Her eyes were squinted as if in thought, and she shrugged. "There's a few tests I have to take because I didn't get the Potions N.E.W.T., but. Yeah, training classes start next week."

That wasn’t the answer he was expecting, so he couldn’t help but raise his brows in surprise when she just blurted that out of no where. It had nothing to do with being locked out of the apartment, so it caught him off guard. The first instinct he had was to tell her that he would help her with Potions because he had taken the N.E.W.T., but there was the possibility that she would tell him that she didn’t want his help. That she was just telling him as some sort of warning incase he saw her wandering around the hallways. So instead, he gave a small smirk and nodded his head. “That’ll be good for you.” He shifted his weight again, fiddling with the keys between his fingers as he looked at the floor. It wasn’t trying to be some sort of hint that he wanted to get home, but he was just…fidgety.

He raised a hand up to push his hair back, since had flopped forward in front of his eyes when he lowered his head. There was silence, since the both of them seemed to have nothing more to say. Or, they both had plenty to say but just didn’t know how to go about bringing it up, putting it out in the open. But he couldn’t keep this up much longer. He couldn’t have her be mad at him for doing what he was supposed to do, and he couldn’t keep staying mad at her for something that he thought was completely irresponsible. Something that could have ruined Ralph and Miranda’s lives instead of improve them. Everything was already done…and in his opinion he hadn’t overreacted at all, but—

“I’m sorry…”

The two words came out of his mouth while he was still looking between them at the floor, the keys jingling again as he moved his fingers. He was sorry for fighting with her. He was sorry for pulling her into the Order’s business, for expecting her to just sit put and watch as he stripped away one of his best friend’s identities, and not say anything to one of hers. It was something most people would do. Most people who weren’t in the Order, who hadn’t been made numb to an extent. It was rather scary, when he thought about how much he had to be unaffected by. When he thought about how much all of them had gone through, and how they were still relatively sane.

Her breath hitched immediately. Eliza couldn't tell you how quickly tears formed in her eyes or how fast her lips were quivering, but it was---instant, the reaction was instantly strewn across her face and entire body, and her shoulders were hitching with tears as she nodded over and over.

"Me--me too, I'm sorry, I just--I'm sorry."

And she was sorry for betraying his trust, she wasn't sorry for helping Miranda with her life, but she was sorry Dedalus had to doubt her, she was sorry that he didn't know what he could tell her anymore. Eliza had thought about what if Dedalus didn't want to deal with her anymore, and she had not been able to come up with anything. Anything. Maybe that was bad, maybe she was too young to be thinking that way, but Eliza found herself completely and utterly terrified at the prospect of Dedalus not being in her life. What would she do without him? He was the one that made her happy, he was the one that got her out and to talk to people---he was quiet too, but they helped each other become more---more their self-esteems, they helped each other's self-esteems in the most beautiful of ways and---and---

"Just---" Eliza let out a squeaky sort of whine, putting her arms up to him like some helpless child, but really. Why was he still standing all the way up there?

The reason why he was still standing all the way up there was because he was frozen in place, his chest feeling rather constricted as she began to cry. It wasn’t the first time he had seen this happen, but it was the second time in a short while that he had been the cause of it. He felt his throat get tighter as he watched her tears fall down her cheeks, and as soon as she reached up for him he was lowering himself down to be somewhat level with her, taking hold of her hands as he did so. His knees were bent; one resting on the ground so that he could balance himself as one hand tangled its fingers with hers.The other went to cup her cheek, trying to get some of the moisture away.

“I didn’t…it wasn’t supposed to be like this…”

He lowered his head as he let out a long breath, looking back to her once he had regained his composure. “I missed you…” Just being able to look into her eyes again, even if the moisture rimming them broke him a little bit, was amazing. He never wanted to go that long without talking to her again. He never wanted to be that far from her, he never wanted to have to put anything like this on her shoulders again.

But the truth of the matter was that there probably would be times in the future when he either had to keep things from her, or she would know and would have to not say anything. It was because of the Order. It was because of his lifestyle that things would get rocky at times between them. But he had faith that no matter what, they would pull through. He had to have faith, because thinking that he might lose her was something he couldn’t do again.

The intense sense of relief that flushed through her nearly made her choke, and Eliza took a deep breath before she tugged on Dedalus' hands to pull him into a hug. It felt so good to have him so close for the first time in--in weeks! Eliza pressed her face into Dedalus' shoulder as she shifted onto her knees. It didn't occur to her that they were basically crying and clinging to each other in the middle of a hallway, and she was sure that if this had happened in the middle of Diagon Alley she would've blocked off all traffic and not give one damn about it.

She'd try harder. She was going to promise to try harder with understanding the Order's mentalities, she was going to try and become--become harder, more willing to accept when things had to be done, even if they were painful. It was the only way to win this war, it was the only way to not go insane and stay with Dedalus. If she wanted this then she needed to make some adjustments, and she hoped that he did with her, too and---she'd work it out, she was going to try harder.

Eliza's face twisted up to kiss his neck, God, she hadn't kissed him in weeks. That was completely ridiculous and wrong, and she felt herself heating up, the kisses becoming more feverent.

He didn’t hesitate in putting his arms around her, glad that she had shifted positions so that they could be closer. Where they were wasn’t even a thought that was going through his mind, but he did know that they weren’t inside, where they should be. He just…he needed to hold her, and keep her close, and kiss her skin and her lips, and smell her hair, and run his fingers through the silky strands of brunette, and just…be with her. He needed to be with her, because they had lost way too much time because of this fight. It was something he had never felt before in his life. Feeling like part of him was missing. Feeling like he was without a limb when he wasn’t around her. It made him off-balanced. He wasn’t doing his best at work, he wasn’t even being awkward, which was sort of what made Dedalus Dedalus. It didn’t make sense though. He was like that before he was with Eliza, wasn’t he? He was just as ridiculous, and abnormal, right?

It wasn’t the same. It was like…everything before her was just building up to her. It was like everything was just meant to be like it was. They just fit together. Maybe they were supposed to be outcasts. If they were popular and normal than they probably wouldn’t have gone to Hogsmeade together. They wouldn’t have gone, because she wouldn’t have had an abnormal fear of moving staircases, and he wouldn’t have helped her, and he wouldn’t have gotten up the guts to ask her out. He didn’t see what she saw in him sometimes, but he saw so many wonderful things in her. He saw her beauty, he saw underneath to her kindness, and among so many other things, he saw how fragile she could be. How carefully he had to hold her so she wouldn’t shatter. How he couldn’t overload her with pressure or she would just crack and be nothing more than a million tiny pieces. Another thing that was amazing was that she could take away some of the pressure being pressed down on his shoulders, and tell him everything would be okay, even if he didn’t always believe it would be.

He shut his eyes and let out a light sigh as she began to kiss his neck, swallowing roughly as she continued to plant kisses on the sensitive area. The hand that had the key moved from around her to reach up and put the key in the slot, at the same time moving back so that he could occupy her lips with his own, giving her something new to kiss. It was difficult to concentrate on getting the door open while he did this, but eventually he heard a click and turned the knob, pushing it open. He let it stay like that while he put that arm back around her, pulling her to him as he kissed her passionately. He could taste the subtle, salty remnants of her tears on her lips, breathing a bit heavy as he relished in the feeling that he had denied himself for so long. After what seemed like forever, he carefully rose to his feet, bringing her with him before he scooped down and picked her up. Her legs wrapped around his middle as he supported her with his arms, moving into the apartment, closing the door with his foot before he carried her over to their room. He put her down on the bed, standing above her now, not wanting to move away from her. Not yet. Not until one of them had something to say that was worth stopping what they were doing.