Who: Estella Derrick and Tobias Gibbon
What: Tobias has some secrets to reveal
When: Earlier today?
Status: Finishing in comments
Estella hurried down the stairs after putting Jacob down for a nap. He'd fussed and whined, so
maybe she had to use one of the gentle sleeping spells all mothers resorted to at some point because...because she was sure her brother was coming by to tell her that Mafalda was going to die. Or already dead---she couldn't even think of it, really, she couldn't find the right words in her head to fully...it just sounded
wrong. People were surviving this virus, she'd
just seen Mal yesterday, after she brought her the books and...and no. Estella, for all the improvement she'd done in accepting her husband's death, in moving on and getting her life straightened out---she was suddenly quite sure she could not take the death of her sister-in-law. Because--her brother would be suffering, her niece would be suffering, and she couldn't
do anything about it, and it would just be like how Tobias was with her when
Jake died, and Estella was sure she wasn't strong enough to help him.
The sound of apparation on the first floor caught her ear and Estella quickly made it down the rest of the way. Her eyes couldn't help the sad expression they held, and she bit her tongue as she looked at her brother.
"Er---sit?" she suggested awkwardly, breathing a bit hard as she led Tobias to the living room.
Tobias was beyond tired. All healers unaffected by the virus had been working night and day trying to solve this crisis. Of course, he knew the cause, and he had helped to cause it. This was his fault to some degree. But strangely, even with his wife in the hospital, that wasn't what he was most guilty about. Talking to Mal had left him loathing himself and feeling horribly guilty. Mafalda had always been a wonderful wife and he'd never treated her the way he should have. He loved her, in his way, he just wasn't in love with her. And he hadn't been making the effort he should to make their marriage work. But that was going to change. If...no, when Mafalda pulled through this, he was going to be the best husband he could be. But before he could do that, he needed to talk to someone, and he couldn't think of anyone better than his sister. He and Stell understood each other and he knew...or at least, he hoped, she would understand this.
He apparated to her house, after spending a good period of time debating whether or not to talk to her, arriving in her front hall. When she came downstairs, he gave her a wane smile and a kiss on the cheek, letting her lead him into the living room. "Thank you," he said as he sat down. And then he realised what it must look like to Stell, him coming over to talk to her while Mal was in the hospital.
"Mal's not dying," he said quickly. "Oh Merlin...I didn't even think of how it must have looked to you. No...she's going to be fine...I think. I just needed to talk to you.
Estella let out a breath, finally glad to breath again. She's going to be fine? Oh--that was wonderful. She slumped back slightly in her chair and pushed her hair out of her face.
"Thank goodness, I've been so---well, what's..." she frowned, sitting up again and leaning toward her brother a bit. Estella and Tobias, being the Slytherins in the family compared to Florence's Hufflepuff status, she'd always felt like they were a bit closer than she and her sister. There was always the bond of sisters, you couldn't deny that, but Slytherins,
halfblood Slytherins, well---they needed to stick with each other. Whatever her brother had to tell her, that it had to be so sudden and in person and not over the floo or journals...Estella couldn't help but be worried. She didn't
want to worry, now that Mafalda
wasn't dying, for a brief second she thought she'd be able to calm herself down, but now her brain was being wracked with questions and concerns about what it
could be.
Oh, hell. This was the last thing she needed before a big performance. The recital was, what? Two days away? She'd been more than stressed with her sister-in-law being in the hospital, but
now, her pessimistic values were telling her that this was going to be a whole lot worse, "What's wrong?"
"I understand, Stell," Tobias said, nodding. "I wasn't even thinking how it would come off...me wanting to talk to you about something important and Mal in the hospital like this. But no, it's not that at all. Well...sort of...but it's not about Mal being sick. It's just...her being sick made me reach this conclusion, and I really needed to talk to someone. Well...you. Because there's nobody else I trust like you, Stell."
He wasn't making any sense. Not even to himself. He sighed, raking a hand through his hair and trying to gather his composure. He never got this flustered. Especially not around Estella. She was his closest friend and his sister and she was the only one he would trust with this secret. He had to believe that she would accept this. And that she wouldn't tell Mafalda. He paused, taking a deep breath and getting to his feet, unable to sit down. He started pacing a bit as he spoke, hoping it would help him get control of his nervous energy.
"The thing is," he said, "and Merlin...I hope you don't hate me for this. I have no idea what I would do if you did...but...I didn't mean for this to happen and I would never intentionally hurt Mal like this...you have to know that. Because I do love her. Of course I love her. It's just...I have no idea how this happened. It just did and I can't change this..." He trailed off, realising he was making no sense and shook his head, mentally composing himself. "I've been having an affair, Stell," he spoke quietly, looking down. "I never meant to do this to Mal. I don't know why I'm doing it. And I know I need to stop it. I realised it even more when she got sick. I just...it's so hard. I don't know what I'm doing here." He hadn't looked at her the whole time he spoke, and he wondered vaguely why it was that he was always coming to his younger sister to fix the problems of his life, because it should have been the other way around.
In all honesty, she never thought about it being an affair, the problem. Estella's mind was rather good at coming up with horrid situations, coming up with every little bad thing that could possibly happen to her or her family or friends, but in this case, she was honestly shocked with the news that her brother, the man she looked up to and trusted with almost everything, was breaking his vows, was...was cheating on his wife after promising to never...Estella's entire body stiffened, and her eyes immediately watered, but she wasn't sure from what.
Some part of her felt betrayed herself; she'd been in the same year as Mafalda, they'd been friends, she'd
introduced them, and...Estella let out a short breath, and finally looked up at her brother. It was strange, how the two of them rambled so brilliantly (or, less than brilliant) when nervous, so she couldn't deny that Tobias was feeling guilty. As a woman, she wanted to be angry, that he
should feel guilty and he
should feel terrible, but as a sister, she knew where her loyalties lied, and she
knew that she would always be on her brother's side, no matter what he did.
"What are you going to do?" she asked softly, her voice cracking lightly. Estella bit back her tears of anger. There was a child involved in all of this, Caleigh needed both her parents, she would not be able to defend her brother if he was going to up and leave his family, that would be the deal breaker in this family loyalty Estella was so set in stone with. "What's going to happen?"
Tobias looked down, not sure how to respond. It was clear that Estella was upset, and he honestly couldn't blame her for it. What he was doing was horrible, and he knew it, but he didn't know if he could honestly stop it. He hated himself for hurting Mal, even if she didn't know about this, and for hurting Stell, and he knew he had to do something, else Mafalda would find out and he couldn't lose her or Caleigh. He sighed heavily. His back to his sister. He couldn't look at her when he said this.
"You need to understand, Stell," he said. "I'm not...I'm not having an affair with another woman. I would never do that to Mal. If it was something like that, I think I could be strong enough to have never been in this situation to begin with. Because I do love my wife. It's just...I really should have told you this a long time ago...but I never knew how. I'm...well...I'm homosexual, Stell. I've tried so hard...I've tried to be a good husband and do the right thing, but it just feels like I'm lying to everyone." He hated this so much. He turned and looked at his sister, his expression tired and upset.
"But I'm ending it," he said. "I can't keep doing this to Mal. It's not fair to her, or to Caleigh. I need to do right by them. Mal getting sick like this showed me that. I've been selfish, and I could have lost the two most important people in the world to me. So I just need to end it with him...but I don't know if I can. Merlin...I think I might love him." He cursed and then laughed bitterly. "I've really fucked this up, haven't I, Stell?"
She let out a choke of a laugh, standing with her hand to her head. This was far too much to try and accept, in, what? Five minutes? Less? Estella moved a bit away from the chair, but stopped suddenly to stare at her brother in complete disbelief. He was
what? She didn't---she didn't have a problem with---no, no a few of the men at the studio were...but...
He had created a
family with this woman. That's what was making this hurt the most, Tobias had a
family, a wife that he didn't actually love, but faked...faked
everything with. Estella's hand went to her mouth, completely---completely---she didn't want to say disgusted, because if Tobias had come to her in the first place, things would be okay, but the fact remained that he had been deceiving Mafalda, deceiving Caleigh, deceiving their entire family, deceiving
her. That trust was completely shattered; what else had he,
was he lying to her about?
"I can't bloody believe this," Estella let out; she didn't curse often, it startled even herself. "I can't---
fucking hell, Tobias, what did---what did you
think would, what---did you think I would have...I can't even...I can't even think of how little you could've thought when...when...you have a
baby, you have a child with this woman!"
Her hands went to her head, completely flabbergasted, a few angry tears seeping out of her eyes, "This isn't some fling you got yourself into! This is---this was supposed to be the rest of your life, and...and you've...you've..." She looked at him again, suddenly hearing his words clearly, again, "You love him?"
