Why did he need Dianna there? That was something that even Darien himself didn't know, but he knew that he did need her. Or someone--anyone. Because in truth, Emma wasn't terrifying in and of herself, but in those quiet moments when they were left alone together, in his small flat, to just be in each other's company... it was that which was maddening to him. He would have done anything to keep some kind of constant visitor around, just so that he didn't have to be alone with her.
What if he did something wrong and no one was there to pick up the pieces? His parents--they had tried to teach him what to do, and at times he had even felt like he was getting the hang of it, but that didn't squelch the fear at the idea of messing up when it came to really doing this on his own. He wasn't fit out to be a father, or at least not on this kind of short notice. He couldn't even feel a connection with this kid because--hell, she was already five months old. Emma was his daughter, but as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't feel anything, and what if that alone caused him to--
He still had to take care of her. Darien hated that fact the most. He was being put in charge of this life that he hadn't even known existed, and had no time to prepare for or develop feelings over. It seemed wrong and unfair, for the both of them. Regardless of anything, he did feel that Emma deserved better than this.
"Why didn't she tell me?" he finally spoke, eyes staring blankly past Dianna and into the far wall. He wasn't even sure if he was talking to his sister or not, but it was a question he had needed to get out for a while. "I mean--she didn't have to let me be involved, just--she never even bothered to tell me--" --and he knew that Emma's mother knew who he was; they had had evidence enough to track him down after her death, after all. "If I had known, I could have--"
What? He didn't know that either. Darien just felt like, if he had known he was going to have a kid before the fact, maybe something would have been different. At the very least, he might have been a hair more emotionally prepared to take responsibility, did something unfortunate happen to her mother. But like this, it was-- "This is impossible."
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