Arista had to jerk her head down to collect herself, swallowing thickly. That reaction had been unprecedented, she managed to think weakly, then let the panic have her.
She had to be ruthlessly honest with herself, otherwise she'd cave in an instant. With Galvin, it wasn't simply what people would say or whisper about them, or even the threat of admonishment or punishment for dating another Seeker—this Seeker—that deterred her. Arista didn't know, personally, if her admittedly frail ego could handle such proximity, intimacy, with the enemy. In just a few hours, the preparations for another month-long battle would begin, so how could she date a man one day, and have to go directly head-to-head with him the next? She might no longer believe his goal was sabotage, but would that change the outcome of allowing herself to give in to this awful temptation?
Not to mention Galvin… terrified her, in a word. Arista couldn't remember the last time she had really, actually kissed somebody. And the end result had certainly never left her unsteady on her feet, unable to get her breath back. She didn't feel these things, she wasn't supposed to. Never mind that she didn't have time for such relationships, she simply didn't have the capacity for them, wasn't supposed to. So the worst part was that she wanted more. Even as she stood in front of him, telling herself to shove free and start assessing the damage, another part of her was calculating their height differences, wondering if she were to launch herself on the tips of her toes now, would she be able to reach his lips. Just one kiss had turned Arista into some hungry, needy creature she couldn't make sense of.
"This is too much," she said faintly, backing away, turning to all but run. "I can't do this, it's too much."
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