Who: THE BOOTS!
What: FINALLY
Where: THE PLANETARIUM
When: TODAY!
Odette pressed her hair down with her hand, laying it flat over her left shoulder. She wasn’t thinking about it, so she had been standing at the planetarium’s reception desk for almost a quarter of an hour now, just waiting. Waiting for... a sign, or a familiar face maybe, because.... she moved her hand to press her fingers on the bridge of her nose. Because unceremoniously entering the planetarium had been so overwhelming, it had intimidated her. Odette stuck out her tongue at her confession, rather embarrassed with herself by it. She technically owned half of this place, didn’t she?
That wasn’t the point. The point was she had her priorities all out of place, like with practically everything else in her life, and that was why Odette forced herself to step forward and begin to wander through the building with a final destination in mind. She wanted... to see Noah. Because, it had taken much longer than she would like to admit, Odette had begun to deeply miss him. And their relationship, and what it meant to her daily life--- she certainly hadn’t
enjoyed staying away before, but it had almost felt necessary? Her brow lowered as she thought. Not necessary but... like there had been too much to handle, or... Odette shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to think about this. She was here.
Covering her mouth for a moment, Odette hesitated on how to enter his office. She hadn’t told him she would be coming, and she had hardly taken to knocking and waiting for admittance before... so she knocked, and immediately entered. A deep breath filled her, as she instantly felt anxious and calmed at the same time. Good thing she had grown accustomed to feeling uncomfortable in her own skin by now, or else this might be unbearable.
What to say? “I was just--- in the neighborhood...” Odette started randomly, knowing she could lie much better than that.
Noah looked up from his work, seemingly unphased by his errant wife’s appearance. He couldn’t say he was happy to see her, but felt guilty at the thought and pushed it away. His free hand moved some parchment away, covering the latest edition of
The Tattler that his receptionist had brought in. Noah knew that he shouldn’t pay attention to the rags, that most of their stories were lies, but when he looked back on their track record, an alarming amount of truth was told from their pages. It was particularly easy to figure out their hints and clues, too, and it didn’t help that he’d been accosted in Diagon Alley the other night and asked why
he wasn’t in attendance at Brookstanton’s party when Odette had been spotted entering the club.
Part of him, a rapidly growing part of him, did not want to care anymore. He’d done his waiting, he’d bided his time. Noah was a good man, he’d done not a thing wrong and he was the one that was getting left behind and ignored, forgotten. His seemingly logical, calm temperament that he’d developed these past few years from having to live with a dramatic woman like Odette had nearly ceased to exist. His blood had
boiled at the idea that his wife was out at some party while he was home with
their children, completely unaware of what the bloody fuck was going on with their lives. Was
that the kind of space she really needed?
Noah sent her a stern look before going back to his charts.
“The kids are with Martin,” he said plainly, unable to assume that she was here to see him.
She pulled her lips back, raised her brow, and nodded slowly. Odette had not been expecting a warm welcome, so it was not a surprise that she did not receive one. She understood that... if Noah had been feeling less and less inclined... it was very difficult to express... her mind felt less jumbled, now. So she
understood, a bit, how difficult everything had become. She still could not say that she felt completely, like before, but... better, at least.
Odette bunched her hair in her hands, focused on the papers on his desk, twisted her heel into the ground--- anything to help distract from
this. She did not want to fidget, or feel uncomfortable, but... it was hard not to. His look had been rather fierce.
But--- Odette stuck her foot out, again feeling embarrassed with herself. This wasn’t--- that wasn’t right. So, she shook her head and pushed her hair back. Things could not go on like this. She didn’t---
want this.
“I came to see you,” Odette spoke calmly, sticking her chin up slightly as she spoke. “Just you.”
Right. Even though she was
here, physically in his office, Noah had a hard time believing that. He was feeling jaded and hurt; it felt like anything Odette was to say to him was going to be turned into something infuriating. Of course, there was still a part of him that wanted things to be resolved, and after scratching a few notes onto his latest set of notes, Noah managed to subdue his growing anger. She came to see him? All right, then. Finally.
Noah rolled up the parchment, taking his time. He was sitting in the same seat he’d been in when Odette had told him about being pregnant with Anna. What news was he going to get today? He felt like anything she said, if she needed more time or wanted to come home, would not necessarily be considered
good. Noah knew that he loved his wife and he
did want her to come home, but she’d hurt him. Noah actually felt betrayed by this...this disappearing act of Odette’s, and he didn’t know how fine he would be when or if they tried to get things back to normal.
Normal? No, he knew things weren’t going to go back the way they were. Was he okay with that? Would that be all right? Noah had been happy, and he thought Odette had been too. He turned to her, stopping his thoughts; who knew if she was even here to say that she wanted to work things out?
“Do you want tea?” he said, unsure of what else to say.
She frowned. Odette had never truly been a tea kind of person (much to other’s dismay: how very un-British), so the responsibility of a cup full of liquid in her lap or hands through however long or short this conversation would be was not appealing. She shook her head.
“No,” she said, then hastily added a few moments later, “thank you.” Odette blew her cheeks out slightly, already finding that she felt awkward with her words. Awkward! She
hated feeling awkward, actively sought to ignore it or destroy daily because it made her skin feel so uncomfortable it was painful. That was not who she was. The dark thought that she couldn’t really
say that was who she was based on her thoughts and actions of the past few months, as it had slightly felt like she’d lost her bloody mind, occurred to her, but she ignored it.
“Look, Noah,” Odette started, her hand reaching up to her head again to hold her hair. She redirected her gaze momentarily to the ground, as if doing so would help her speak easier. It did not, and in fact made her feel like quite the coward, so she looked back up at him.
“I know that I haven’t--- with everything that has happened, I just--- how I’ve been acting has not been--“ Odette’s brow furrowed in almost a confused manner, as she found there were too many things to say floating and not enough words to say it. She let out a frustrated sound, and decided to resort to completely honesty. Doing so
had been making things better, though she would never admit that to her bloody child therapist of hers.
“I know I’ve been doing and saying things that... aren’t right, and I...
understand, now, that there is a world outside my own...
brain, and I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, or make you feel... insignificant. You’re the only person--- I love you, I really do, and I don’t--- I’m not saying that because I expect everything to be fixed right now, but I just thought... I don’t want to
be like this anymore. And I’m tired of being confused, and being told what to do all the time, and feeling--- strange.” That wasn’t everything she felt like saying, but it was a start.
“But you did,” he blurted, frowning. Noah’s arms had crossed, and though he was facing her completely it felt as if he was pulling away. Odette was standing in front of him, apologizing, and he should be accepting it. Well, he
was, he didn’t think she was lying, he didn’t think that even in her current state that she would force herself to say things she didn’t mean. It wasn’t that. Noah had been hurt, by the person he’d chosen to spend his life with, and that was a hard blow to handle.
He looked away, flushed. “I---I don’t want you to feel the way you have been, but, Odette.” Noah pressed his lips into a firm line, looking back at her. “I feel like I’ve been---abandoned and stepped on...yeah, insignificant is a good word for how it’s been.”
Maybe he should’ve been more proactive throughout all of this. It was hard when his wife disappeared and holed herself up with giant bodyguards like Drystan, who was supposed to be
his best friend as well. Maybe he should’ve been angrier, maybe he should’ve been more aggressive, but Noah truly hadn’t believed that those sort of heightened emotions would’ve helped. Time and patience was what got Odette back here, but it felt like his patience had worn dreadfully thin.
“I love you,” Noah said finally, shoulders sagged. He was tired, he was just very tired. “I
believe you and I want you to come home, but I can’t lie to you and say it’s all fine. It’s not.”
Odette pulled her lips back and looked down at the ground. “I know,” she spoke softly, feeling that it addressed so much in such little terms. She couldn’t--- while things were getting better, she was certainly--- it was better, not fixed. So she
understood, because it had never really been about him, but it had turned into that. While it had always felt about
her, and
her problems with everything that had been going on, it had always been about them, and the children...
She closed her eyes momentarily, unable to push aside her next thoughts. Odette couldn’t deny that thinking of the children made her want to crawl further into herself, hide away and forget, and that wasn’t--- right. That wasn’t normal, she loved Terry and Anna, more than most things in her life, so why did she feel like she couldn’t,
shouldn’t see them? Like it wasn’t good. Probably because even she could realize that she had gone off the bloody deep end and that was no place to drag a child, let alone two, through. But that didn’t...
Maybe it would be best to address one issue at a time.
Crossing her arms over her chest, Odette bided a long silence before speaking again. “What do you want to do?” she asked in a low tone, finding no other way around it. There had to be... a decision, about something, made. She couldn’t continue on like this,
they couldn’t continue on like this.
What did he want to do? Noah wanted to go back to before he’d read that bloody article, picked up that stupid book. He knew he couldn’t, nothing could change what had hit them and he wondered if they were strong enough. Noah didn’t
hate Odette, his anger and frustration wasn’t something that he believed would be long lasting like some of his grudges. Noah had grown a lot these past few years and most of it was in thanks to Odette.
For Odette.
She wasn’t the only one whose view on life had changed; they both had been set on being on their own, happy on their own. Before Odette had come along, Noah had settled with the fact that he was going to raise Terry on his own. Grow old by himself and find some sort of solitude in that. But then he’d taken a chance on trying to talk up a pretty quidditch player, and his life plan had suddenly shifted.
Odette had made him want a different sort of life. She made him want to have a family, to have people to protect and support and love. He wanted Terry to have a mother, the idea of having
more children reared its head like it never had before. She changed him and he would always be grateful for that.
He’d pushed himself out of his chair, closing the gap between himself and Odette while she continued to voice her concern and confusion.
“Come home,” he said, reaching out to Odette to take her hand and pull her toward him. Noah was never an overly affectionate person, it had always been his nature to keep a distance. He brushed her hair away and left his hand lingering on her cheek. He kissed her then, and Noah realized how much he’d really missed her lips. “You should come home,” he muttered against her.
Odette had not been expecting Noah’s embrace and acceptance, let alone in such an emotional manner. Didn’t stop her from openly welcoming it, hardly; it merely made her realize how badly she had been craving it. Craving him, craving what they had, what they would
continue to have, because that was what really mattered. In the end, they may have difficulty expressing things out loud, with useful words, and that may set things back, but when it mattered, it worked. They worked.
“Okay,” she nodded slightly, almost feeling overwhelmed. But in a good way. Like, a gust of fresh air or finally emerging from a cave to feel the sun on your skin after a long while kind of overwhelmed. Odette felt her lips press into a small smile, and she dipped her head before burying her face into the side of his neck. Comforted by his closeness, she let out a content sigh and slowly snaked her arms up his back to hold him tight.
“I will. I am,” she reaffirmed, lifting her head and closing her eyes to kiss him again. Ugh
ugh how long had it been since they snogged? Two months,
two months, it felt like bloody centuries, even longer when she thought about how that time had gone by with an equal lacking amount of sex. Sex! Odette suddenly felt extremely energized at the idea. Was it really inappropriate to be thinking about, and wanting, office desk sex at this moment? She hoped not, as she pushed to deepen their kiss.
