UsernameEmailRegionInterestAOL IMICQ IDYahoo! IDMSN IDJabber

But what did that really mean?

Caradoc moved so that his chin could rest on the back of her shoulder, giving himself the most amount of space he could to think carefully about what to speak next. He would have to give her a real answer now, and that made him feel even more uncomfortable, if that was possible. Why couldn't she just make a final decision and be done with it? At least then he could bitch and moan all he wanted--- this way was just--- made his brain want to melt.

If he was going to be completely honest, Caradoc would admit in a heartbeat that he didn't want children, never had and most likely never would. He had never felt the burning desire like many others to have little-- spawns running around. It just hadn't... been something to debate about. And it had truly felt like he had been sparing his future offspring from all ridiculousness, depression and insanity that came along with being in a Dearborn by deciding against it so long ago. With the horrible parents he'd had, and the abysmal family death rate, it had all seemed for the best.

But. A boy--- a heir. Call it the pureblood in him, but there would always be something important about a firstborn boy. Caradoc would be lying if he said he wouldn't like the now effectively dead Dearborn blood to carry on, another pureblood trait he could thank to his parents. But that was not reason enough to a child into the world who's death rate was substantially higher right at birth thanks to his mistakes.

But--- Caradoc continued to go back and forth for a while, realizing he should not have put off this internal conversation for as long as he did. Emmeline wanted this, he knew that no matter how hard she tried to convince otherwise, and it would be wrong of him to take something like a child away from her. Their child. He couldn't get rid of his firstborn boy. And--- it would make her happy. He liked it when she was happy. Miserable Emmeline was bad news for everyone all around.

So... they would deal with all the necessary precautions and issues as they came along. They were good at that. Great. So now he just had to tell her that....

Digging down deep within for new strength, Caradoc took Emmeline's shoulders into his hands so he could prop her correctly in front of him. Eye contact was important. She probably wouldn't believe him if it wasn't maintained. Taking a deep breath, he promised himself he wouldn't breath again until he had finished.

"I want--- I am--- okay with having this--- baby. Yes. I am--- nervous--- but.... I think--- Hehastohaveanormalname." Immediately after Caradoc finished he gasped for air, his face hot from lack of oxygen and the internal pain of saying what he had just said.