Who: Devon and Darren ugfhsg
What: He's back from Spain a bit early
Where: Devon's apartment
When: Friday Night
Rating: R




This was bollocks. No it was super fucking double bollocks. He couldn't fucking believe he was actually here and about to do what he'd told himself he wouldn't. He'd told himself he was going to avoid her on the journals, but then he'd swaggered right into an argument with her wanker of a brother. He'd told himself he was going to Spain with Lydia (and friends...) and that he was going to enjoy the extended holiday, but then he'd left after barely a week. Then he had told himself he was going straight home to bed before he did anything terribly stupid. Instead he'd apparated straight to her building. Yes, Darren's rash attempts to quash all thoughts and desire for Devon were going very well indeed.

Darren's features went severely taunt as he drew a long drag on the dwindling fag that was held to his lips by a thumb and forefinger. Standing in a trash-filled alley next to the aging brownstone, he let the ashen remnants of the fag fall from his fingers to join two more burnt bits in the dirt at his feet. He closed his eyes and exhaled the grey smoke in one long, slow stripe into the night air. For a moment, he pondered lighting another and delaying the inevitable for a fourth time, but he only had a couple left and depending on how this went? He might be needing those smokes and a possibly a whole bottle of whiskey real soon.

"Fuck," he swore harshly and finally thrust himself toward the door that led to what he was sure would be rejection. Once inside his gait had lost some of its usual strut. He even paused momentarily outside Devon's door, telling himself that this was his last chance to turn back and he knew full-well that never seeing Devon again was what would be best for both of them.

He raised a fist and rapped twice. Darren also knew that he was really fucking stubborn.

Standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom, Devon sighed heavily, a brush held in her hand that had been used to comb her hair just a moment ago. She had just dried her hair after getting out of a shower, her fiery locks still just a little bit damp since she didn’t even see the need to bother with making it look nice. Not that it looked bad but it wasn’t styled like it usually was. Thinking back on it, she was an idiot for wasting so much time, trying to look better for him. So much time and energy wasted.

Placing down the brush, she grabbed her toothbrush and ran the water in the sink, putting some mint flavored paste on the bristles, holding back her hair as she brushed her teeth. It was fairly late, and since she had nothing better to do with her time ( augh ) she was about to just hop underneath her covers, and lay there until she was tired enough to fall asleep.

Wasn’t that just a little pathetic? Any other time she and a boyfriend ( if you could still consider Darren her boyfriend after everything he said on Valentines ) broke up, she would be right back out there the next day. She would have moved on by now, and she wouldn’t be going to bed at—

It was only 10:30. It was 10:30, and she was about to go to bed. That was normal for most people, but not for Devon, who was used to staying out all night and coming in at 2am. Or, well…she was usually awake until 2am.

Rinsing her mouth out with water, she began to put her hair up into a ponytail, pulling down the covers of her bed as she heard a knock at the door.. Her brows furrowed with confusion as she grabbed a sweatshirt and put it on, quietly making her way towards the door. She turned the knob and pulled it open, stunned at who she saw on the other side. She looked so confused, and shocked, and her mouth opened to say something, but really just…couldn’t. Not right away, anyway. She just stared up at Darren, wondering if she had already fallen asleep and this was all just a big dream or something.

Remembering back to the last time he'd been standing in this hallway, knocking on this door - Darren had fully expected it to not open, but when it did open he still wasn't entirely caught up in surprise. He would have been unprepared regardless of whether or not the door had opened. There simply wasn't anything he could have readied himself to say. There were no apologies, no terms of endearment, not even a swear. His mind was just blank. But his vision certainly hadn't failed even if his words had and Gods was she ever a gorgeous sight on his eyes. He held her stunned gaze with his own solemn stare as he willed himself to keep from blinking for the dread that he'd suddenly wake up back in Spain.

Knowing that her shock would soon wear off and fiery anger would set in, Darren seized his chance (and her waist) to pull Devon to him. He didn't kiss her immediately (though he really, really wanted to) and rested his forehead to hers. He swallowed as he took in a slow nasal breath, trying to keep his face calm as he stared down at her, waiting to see if she'd push him away.

She couldn’t help but take in a sharp gasp as he pulled her towards her, her hands moving up to grab a hold onto the fabric of his coat, gripping at his sleeves. Suddenly, she felt light headed, being so close to him, and was certain that if he hadn’t breathed that she would have forgotten to do so for quite some time. Her eyes finally blinked after what seemed like forever, her hands still holding tight onto the fabric of his coat. Her eyes traveled down to his lips before they went back to stare into his own, swallowing roughly before she spoke. “I thought…” She would have said ‘you were in Spain’ if her mind wasn’t so fogged by the fact that he was holding her so close, and his arms were around her. For all she knew this was just something temporary. For all he knew he had gotten kicked out of the hotel room in Spain for whatever reason, and he was just lonely.

But God, she hoped that wasn’t the case…she really, really did.

He had no clue what she had started to say. There were several possibilities that ran through his mind and not one of them was reassuring. Which was why Darren chose to instead to notice that she hadn't immediately pulled out of his embrace nor had she made any show of disgust. In fact, she had gripped at him in the same needy fashion. That sent a white hot slash straight across his chest. One hand shot up to cup Devon's face and hold her steadfast as he continued to stare down at her through heavy lids. His thumb pressed gently into her cheekbone as he massaged a slow, lazy circle there.

Fuck... Darren couldn't believe his own body. His stomach was knotting and twisting, his heart was slamming at his throat and making it difficult to breathe. He had to set his jaw to keep a shiver from going down his spine. This was just...un-fucking-believable. Women didn't do this to him ever. Ever. Not once. And why the fuck was he hesitating? He was pretty sure he should be snogging her already. Yet...he wasn't. He was just staring at her and not talking and Christ he wished he could just say he was drunk, or high, or anything else other than the fucking truth.

He was terrified of waking up from this and not having Devon lying beside him.

Oh, he wasn’t allowed to do that. He wasn’t allowed to touch her like that and he wasn’t allowed to make her go weak in the knees, and look at her like that, and make her completely forget about everything else. She should have pushed him away. She should have told him to go away, and that she never wanted to see him again…but that would have been such a lie.

Her fingers tightened their grip on his coat, her eyes staying focused on his. “Darren…” his name felt so good rolling off of her tongue. “…just say something…” She really just needed an explanation, or some sort of reasoning, or just…just anything that would let her know why he had come all the way from Spain to knock on her door. She had a feeling she already knew, just by the way he was looking at her…but he owed her an explanation. She deserved one after all the shit he had put her through, and he couldn’t just expect her to melt in his arms and forgive him because he was there and he was holding her like that and…

Fuck, he wasn’t allowed to do that…

Darren finally blinked and was relieved that she didn't disappear. Now convinced that she wasn't going to push away, he brought a second hand up caress Devon's face. He swallowed again but still no words came to him. He smooth his palms against her cheek has his long fingers slid back into the hair pulled taunt by her ponytail. His breaths came as slow, nasal draws. Darren just wanted to stand there with her so close for an eternity. He just didn't want it to end. He didn't want to have to answer her and have all this lead to another huge mistake. Losing her again just wasn't something he thought he could handle without losing his mind. And that, therefore, begged a question...

Why the fuck was here? He knew this was fucking horrible idea. He couldn't trust himself to not fuck it up all over again and he definitely couldn't count on Devon to be that understanding. He just...no. He couldn't do it to her and have her look at him like that again. It would just...it would just fucking kill him. So why couldn't he make himself give her up for fuck's sake?! Sod it all. This was just fucking hopeless. Yet all he wanted to do was kiss her.

Tightening his fingers in her hair, Darren's forehead brushed hers as he shook his head slowly. "I can't," he finally edged out. "I just can't..."

Devon shut her eyes as he pressed his forehead against hers again, her hands moving from his sleeves to lay flat on his chest, pushing herself closer to him as she just…breathed. She just needed to breathe, because her entire body was being drawn to him, as it always was, but there was still something in the back of her mind telling her that this wasn’t a good idea. But fuck, when had that ever stopped her before? Her palms rose and fell with each breath he took, and she could feel his heart pounding against his chest. She had never seen him like this before…she had never seen him look so wanting.

“…don’t hurt me again, Darren.” The words came out quietly before she swallowed roughly once again, her lashes parting to look up at him. “I can’t do it again…I can’t have you now and not have you later…if you can’t give me that-…” She didn’t want to finish the sentence, but she knew she had to. “..if you can’t give me all of you then just leave…please, just leave, before I think I have a chance with you again…because I can’t do it. Not again.” Her voice had a light quiver to it, but she wasn’t going to cry, she wouldn’t cry. Not after she had already broken down once in front of him. God, she just wanted that day to disappear, she wanted to pretend that it had never happened. She never wanted to hear him say that she was nothing more than a good shag. He said they were through, he said they should stay through and now? Now he was…he was just Darren. He was perfect, and yet so fucking flawed. She knew that, and she knew he was no good for her, and yet…she couldn’t let him go.

The struggle to get just one bloody sentence out had clawed and raked at his throat, but then...fuck. Now he was just fucking raw on the inside. Hearing her echo his own damn thoughts was brutal beyond what he could have ever fathomed. It was a fucking train wreck to his chest. He had to grit his jaw until the tightness made the ringing in his ears near screaming levels to have just enough semblance of clarity to keep himself standing on his own damn feet. Eyes squeezing shut, he took a pained breath that felt like chisel on his hoarse throat.

So many things that he knew they both knew he couldn't promise. Fuck. He was going to lose her.

Paranoia finally raced up his spine. His fingers pressed roughly into the scalp beneath them and his eyes popped open so he could look into her browns firmly. "I won't make promises, I don't trust myself to keep," he practically seethed through his clenched jaw.

Why did he do this to her? Why did she feel like her heart was about to explode in her chest? And why did her stomach keep twisting into uncomfortable knots as she anticipated each word he said, only to be terribly disappointed with the end result. She didn’t need that much from him. She didn’t need his entire life story, and she didn’t need to meet his family, or know about them if he didn’t want her to. She just needed him. She needed him to hold her and kiss her, and wake up next to her, and talk to her, and touch her, and let her do the same to him and…she just wanted him.

It took her a few moments to remember that she needed to breathe, and blink, and eventually she did both at the same time, her eyes moving down to notice how tense he was. The fingertips of her right hand moved up to trace along his jaw line, her slender digits shaking lightly at even the gentlest touch of her skin against his own, almost afraid to touch him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she was just afraid that once she started she wouldn’t be able to stop. “Then just…tell me what…what is this to you? What am I to you…?”

She was absolutely petrified of the answer he might give, but she had to know. It would drive her insane if she walked back inside and didn’t understand why he had come all that way just to…just to walk away.

"I--" The words caught in Darren's throat because he had no idea what he was about to say to her. Words had nearly rolled off his tongue without him knowing exactly what they would be and exactly how they would be delivered. He was used to being prepared. He was used to thinking on his feet. He was used to knowing the right and wrong to say and at least six variations between. But right now, all of that cunning intuition was failing him. And it was fucking maddening.

He leaned his cheek toward Devon's touch and relaxed his own fingers back to her temples. Knowing he had to say something, he took a breath to calm his voice before he gave her a serious look. "I don't know," he replied truthfully. He knew it might not be what she wanted to hear, but he didn't want to be anything but honest with her right now. She deserved that much. "I don't know because..." Fuck. He couldn't really explain this properly. It didn't even make sense to him. How could it possibly make sense to her?

"Because I've never had anyone ever make me feel this bloody insane. Nothing even fucking close to this."

She couldn’t help but let her eye line drop as he gave his answer. She thought that was all she was going to get out of him. It was what she was expecting him to say, to be completely honest. She didn’t expect any more from him, because she had learned that when she expected things from him she just…never got what she wanted.

But there was more. She waited anxiously for him to finish his sentence, her eyes meeting his in an intense gaze once more. Her heart was pounding in her chest, only to feel as though it had stopped beating altogether as he finally got out his last words. There was a brief pause before she lifted up her other hand to place it on the other side of his face, swallowing roughly as she parted her lips to say something…but there were just no words. There was nothing she could think of. No, she wouldn’t say anything more. Instead, she lifted herself up on her toes to press her lips against his own, gently pulling him down to meet her halfway.

She couldn’t stand it anymore. Maybe she’d regret it later, maybe it was a bad move, maybe he’d still wind up walking away...but fucking hell, she was going to take her chances.

Darren hadn't been sure how she would interpret what he'd said. 'Bloody insane' could have easily been taken as an insult, but there hadn't been any logistics to his words outside of his own knee-jerk response. He'd never wasted time thinking over his feelings for Devon until this very moment. Actually, it wasn't until those words had left his mouth that he even had a real epiphany about...everything - why he was here, why he couldn't let her go, and most importantly what he truly felt for her.

Of course, his moment of sudden clarity was also the moment that Devon chose to pull him into a kiss and suck away all he wanted to say to her. Well, he certainly wasn't going to be one to complain. He was finally getting kissed by the woman he loved. There would be plenty of time to tell her later - after the hours of lusty sex of he was planning.

The tenderness of her kiss surprised him. Darren massaged his fingers back up into her hair once more (thoroughly tousling her up-do) as he returned the soft pressure against her lips. Maintaining the gentle moment made him strangely anxious and soon his palms which had been brush down her cheeks soon lept to wrap his arms around Devon's waist. He pulled her up to press against his chest as she stood on her toes. Ducking from the hands on his face, Darren pressed his mouth to soft skin of her bare neck to brush a rough kiss from her jaw to collar bone as he finally began backing her into the flat from the doorway.

Devon could never tell what Darren was thinking, but there was something about that kiss, in that moment that made her know that it really meant something. What it meant, she wasn’t quite sure, but there was definitely something there. Something she couldn’t place her finger on…and she didn’t even want to try to guess, because if she did she was sure she would be wrong and—

She had to stop thinking so much.

As his hands moved down her cheeks and to her waist, she shut her eyes tighter as he pulled her against him, her own hands shifting so one was at the back of his neck as the other gripped onto the front of his shirt. Her feet moved backwards as he guided her into the apartment, tugging him forward as they moved before they were finally inside. Her fingers let go of his clothes momentarily so she could grab a hold onto the door and close it behind them, pulling back from him so she could rest her back against it, her hand grabbing out to take hold of his wrist to pull him towards her as her lips traveled along the smooth skin of his neck. Her slender digits crept up his chest before they began to push off his jacket, watching it fall to a heap on the floor before kissing him again, both of her arms snaking around his neck to hold him as close as she could, almost as though if he were just a little bit further away this wouldn’t be real anymore.

There was no way she was letting him go, now.