Log In

Home
    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

Scribbld
    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Invite
    - To-Do list
    - Contributors

Customize
    - Customize
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - User Info
    - Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Userpics
    - Password

Need Help?
    - Password?
    - FAQs
    - Support Area


Donovan Rookwood ([info]impulse) wrote in [info]valesco,
@ 2010-07-14 00:09:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:danielle rookwood, donovan rookwood

Danielle
Visiting hours were just about to end, and while Rafe and Gabriel had remained behind in Jonas’ room, Donovan had what he considered ‘good reason’ for wanting to get out of there at least a few minutes earlier than was required for any guests at Mungo’s. Thankfully he didn’t need to explain what this reason was, but some part of him had a feeling they already knew – if they had been checking his latest entry, they definitely knew. He didn’t want to be immature and avoid her completely if he saw her, so he thought it would be better if he left before Danielle – her, maybe ‘Healer Kettleburn’ was the more appropriate title, considering she was his best friends primary care taker while he was laying unconscious in Mungo’s.

God, he still couldn’t believe she was back. His head hurt at the mere thought of seeing her again, and the anger, the frustration and anxiety he had been feeling all week because of what has happened to Jonas was sure to surface and reach a boiling point the moment those blue eyes set sight on a blonde he knew so many years ago; a blonde he had loved - or, he thought he loved her. They were just kids, when they had been together…but he knew whatever it was he felt for her was strong, and it was real, and he knew he didn’t know what to do with himself for such a long time when she just vanished one day. She had the decency to at least let him know she was going to Colombia, but never said when. He found that out on his own when he went to try and see her at her home, only to have the news broken to him by her parents.

5 years had come and gone, and Donovan had…changed, over the years. Not really for the better, but it wasn’t for the worse, either. He was just different – less trusting, less open in any relationships he had been in after she was gone. Some part of him always thought that they were just going to leave, just like she did, if he let himself grow too attached, so he never did. It was this change in his behavior that finally made his parents decide they were sick of waiting for him to settle down on his own, because he probably never would at that rate. It was after waiting 5 years for him to marry and have an heir that they matched him up with Cecilia Hooke.

She did make him happy, and he did care for her after spending so much time with her, but in all honesty they were both more damaged because of past relationships than either of them wanted to admit. She was hurt by Evan, a man she had loved who had been a servant to the Dark Lord and killed in action, and Donovan by Danielle, a woman he had loved who might as well have been dead, in his eyes.

Thoughts of the 17 year old girl who had left a hole in his chest the day she had left carried with him down the hallway of Mungo’s, slow strides taking him closer to the elevator, his thumbs hooked into the pockets of the jeans he was wearing. His finger was extended to press the button down to the main floor, but just as it lit up, the doors opened.

Of course the first person he saw when they opened was the one person he was trying so desperately and foolishly to avoid. They were bound to run into each other eventually, considering she was taking care of Jonas during his stay at Mungo’s, but he definitely didn’t want it to be now – he didn’t want it to be today, when he had only just found out she was back, and he sure as hell didn’t want her to look even better than she had back in Hogwarts.

It just gave him another reason to resent her.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]curador
2010-07-14 04:12 pm UTC (link)
It seemed like this entire conversation was going backwards. They were initially angry because she hadn't announced her return, she finally explained why she hadn't contacted him over the years, and now Donovan was reminding her why she had left in the first place. Danielle felt increasingly terrible for all the stress he'd been under from his parents, but her mother had always told her to do what was best for her, that if---Danielle clenched her fists by her side, trying to keep her composure; she was not used to showing this much emotion, only bloody Donovan made her like this, ever. All his friends thought she was weird because of how stoic she seemed to be all the time but he knew---

"I wouldn't have left!" she finally admitted, feeling terribly stupid for it. Danielle would pass out before she let any more tears fall so she forced herself to stare at the top clasp of his cloak to hopefully keep herself from losing all the sense she had, "If I had told you I'd bought my ticket, if I had gone to you and told you that I was going to go even though you didn't want me to and I saw you and I saw your face I---would not have gone, and I needed to, I----"

Her hands went up, still balled into fists but they pressed against her mouth. Danielle was nearly shaking at how completely stressed out she had found herself within the span of five minutes, and all because of this man. "I needed to go, and when I did I was too scared to see how much you hated me for leaving because I would've----that would have killed me and----"

Finally her hand forced itself up to her face and Danielle covered her eyes, her other hand pressing hard against her waist to try and keep her strength. She had been avoiding this subject for five years, managing to keep it submerged deep within her mind whenever anyone asked her if she had family or a special someone back home. It had always hurt, but she'd been able to push it away, and now it was all bursting out of her chest and killing her.

"I wouldn't have gone, I made the choice but---" She shook her head, hand still covering her eyes because she couldn't look at him, "I regretted it the second I got there, I just---couldn't-"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]impulse
2010-07-14 11:56 pm UTC (link)
Her sudden exclamation caused his brows to furrow, lips pursed as he listened to the explanation that followed. He really wished it would have caused him some comfort, but it really didn’t – not the slightest bit. What she was basically telling him, or how he was interpreting this, was that he would have been the one to hold her back from fulfilling her dreams – that if she had been to see him, she wouldn’t have been able to say good bye, and she would have stayed, and she would have been miserable; she was also telling him that even if she did leave after saying good-bye to him, she still would have been miserable. She took the easy way out. She didn’t want to suffer, so she ran away from everything she couldn’t face, and left him to deal with everything on his own.

“Is that supposed to make it alright? Telling me you regretted it?”

He looked away from her, staring down at the floor of the elevator, his teeth clenching together as he raised a hand to push back through thick locks of chestnut. He was trying to gather his thoughts, but between all the work he had been given these last couple of weeks and stressing about Jonas, and all the other day-to-day issues he had to deal with, this wasn’t what he needed right now.

“I never would have wanted to be the one you held responsible for never achieving your dream. I never would have wanted to be the one who held you back, the one you blamed for that…but I never would have wanted you to feel trapped, either.” He looked back up at her. “Maybe you wouldn’t have gone if you had come to say good-bye, but that’s no one’s fault but your own. I wouldn’t have ever made you stay…but you never even gave me the chance to let you go.” He swallowed roughly and looked away with it.

“There’s no going back. This,” he was referring to her career, why she had gone to Colombia in the first place “was what you’ve always wanted…more than anything, you wanted to make something of yourself…and now, you have. Clearly you made the right decision.”

It was then that he pushed the button to make the elevator move again, turning to face the doors again.

“So congratulations.”

As the last syllable spilled from his lips, the doors finally parted and he was able to step out of the incredibly small box they had both been trapped in – so small that it felt like he was about to suffocate, like the walls were moving in on the both of them, and he could barely breath.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Read comments) -



scribbld is part of the horse.13 network
Design by Jimmy B.
Logo created by hitsuzen.
Scribbld System Status