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It seemed like this entire conversation was going backwards. They were initially angry because she hadn't announced her return, she finally explained why she hadn't contacted him over the years, and now Donovan was reminding her why she had left in the first place. Danielle felt increasingly terrible for all the stress he'd been under from his parents, but her mother had always told her to do what was best for her, that if---Danielle clenched her fists by her side, trying to keep her composure; she was not used to showing this much emotion, only bloody Donovan made her like this, ever. All his friends thought she was weird because of how stoic she seemed to be all the time but he knew---

"I wouldn't have left!" she finally admitted, feeling terribly stupid for it. Danielle would pass out before she let any more tears fall so she forced herself to stare at the top clasp of his cloak to hopefully keep herself from losing all the sense she had, "If I had told you I'd bought my ticket, if I had gone to you and told you that I was going to go even though you didn't want me to and I saw you and I saw your face I---would not have gone, and I needed to, I----"

Her hands went up, still balled into fists but they pressed against her mouth. Danielle was nearly shaking at how completely stressed out she had found herself within the span of five minutes, and all because of this man. "I needed to go, and when I did I was too scared to see how much you hated me for leaving because I would've----that would have killed me and----"

Finally her hand forced itself up to her face and Danielle covered her eyes, her other hand pressing hard against her waist to try and keep her strength. She had been avoiding this subject for five years, managing to keep it submerged deep within her mind whenever anyone asked her if she had family or a special someone back home. It had always hurt, but she'd been able to push it away, and now it was all bursting out of her chest and killing her.

"I wouldn't have gone, I made the choice but---" She shook her head, hand still covering her eyes because she couldn't look at him, "I regretted it the second I got there, I just---couldn't-"