Sirius!
James stood on the back porch of the Three Broomsticks with his hands stuck in his pockets, staring across toward the Shrieking Shack with narrowed eyes. He was lost in his thoughts but still managed to notice Sirius come up beside him, and the two men stood in silence for a moment.
He'd been to far too many of these gatherings in his young life. James remembered the first funeral he'd gone to had been for his grandmother, and as his family passed on, his mother, his grandfather, his friends began to join the ranks of the deceased. Marlene, his first love, Dorcas, his cousin who was basically a sister. Dearborn had just disappeared but the feeling was the same, then Fabian, his captain, and Gideon, a man he'd respected no matter what they fought over it...It didn't get easier, he wasn't used to it, and James was terrified of the day when he would be the one the guests were giving their consolences to because it was Lily that had been killed, or that Lily would have to go through the pain that so many of the Order's family had because he was being lowered into the ground---
It was almost selfish to think, just for a second, that he hoped Lily died beside him, like the Bones. James couldn't fathom being able to survive without his wife, and to put her through such pain would be unbearable even in the afterlife...James looked over to Sirius, hoping that he would never have to see his best friend, or Remus, or Peter, or---James hoped he wouldn't have to see their funeral. He couldn't stop these morbid thoughts.
"We need to find out who it is," he said finally, only slightly turning toward Sirius. "This has to stop."
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