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erin b. kirke ([info]erinkirked) wrote in [info]valesco,
@ 2008-02-24 21:03:00


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Entry tags:aland avery, erin kirke

Aland!
Erin had tried to keep herself busy, to keep this bad idea from fully formulating and taking effect. Because it could definitely go as bad as the badger case that Priyaranjan had to deal with yesterday, except it didn't involve wild animals. Puff wasn't a wild animal. Neither was Aland.

All right, she was going nuts. Erin knew, she knew that Aland had gone into her flat (was it her fault that she hadn't had time to fix wards? Not that she particularly saw him as a threat, but--that didn't give him the right--). It was seriously becoming an obsession. She couldn't find evidence, and after working in the lab for so long, Erin found that she couldn't do much without evidence or cold hard facts. It did make things easier, but it also made things long and---okay, not easier, but it made them right.

Anyway--she'd been doing a sidejob for the charms committee in Aland's neighborhood when she'd finally grown the nerve, and knocked a few times on the front door of his house and then panicked. Oh fucking Christ, what was she going to do? Scold him? Accuse him? Cause a scene? She hadn't talked to him face to face in months, and now she was going to come and---and what? Oh, oh fuck, fuck fuck, bad idea--

"Aland! Hi," she exclaimed as the door opened. Erin's eyes were wide with shock, never having been good at hiding her surprise or nervousness, "I--was in the neighborhood. Hi! How are you?"

Ohhhh, fuck.



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[info]erinkirked
2008-02-26 04:17 am UTC (link)
"No, you're not---stop calling yourself that, I've always said--" Erin stopped herself. Who was she to scold him, anymore? Aland wasn't stupid. He was a lot like Erin, not able to gather his thoughts, it didn't make him stupid. "You're not stupid."

She said this sternly, almost daring him to challenge her. He wasn't stupid, he was a bloody animagus, that took a lot of brains and talent, and even if they left all of this hating each other, Erin didn't think she'd ever believe that he was an idiot or anything like it.

Erin looked away again, so pitiful that they couldn't even look at each other, and let a breath out through her nose.

"I'm not happy, Aland, stop...stop...just stop," she kept her voice even. He just needed to--to stop feeling bad for himself and stop thinking she hated him and just--stop. They could be friends, she wanted them to be friends.

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[info]cheese_nammit
2008-02-26 04:27 am UTC (link)
"Stop what?" he asked looking up, frustrated as all get out. "I'm not doing anything, I haven't owled, I don't talk to you on the journals, I'm not doing nothing to bother you. I can't not do anything more, I'm sorry I took your dog it was just a moment of, well I don't know what but it was a moment of something and I already said I wouldn't do it again."

Aland didn't cry; he got angry and he yelled and he threw things and hexed people, he didn't cry - so why did he feel like he wanted to right then? He wasn't going to in front of Erin though. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, Erin. I can't hate you because you were right, I'm no good for you, I can't talk to you because it hurts both of us and I don't care about me, but I didn't ever want to hurt you. I don't, I don't know what I did or not did, and I'm sorry for not being who you want me to be."

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[info]erinkirked
2008-02-26 04:48 am UTC (link)
"But why not?" she exclaimed before she could even think to stop herself, and Erin felt a flurry of anger hit, "You break up with someone and---and after a few days, weeks, you talk, you can talk, I miss talking to you, Aland, you're one of the best friends I ever had and---and the closest I can get to talk to you is you---you kidnapping the dog! I mean---"

Erin ran a quick hand through her hair, astonished that he really believed all the things he was saying. Had she ever? How--she hadn't acted meanly to him, she wouldn't have nastily spoken to him, ever, so where was he getting that she hated him? Did he think that all of his ex-girlfriends hated him? Did he think that's how life went?

"I fucked up, I shouldn't have done it the way I did, but holy fuck, Aland! I don't hate you! I can't hate you! I have tried to hate you, but I fucking can't." Erin didn't want to open a new can of worms, but did anyone know how hard it was---working with the aurors, having two for brothers; people talked about the Averys, they talked and all Erin could do was say 'Oh, no, Aland's not like that, I wouldn't think so, no' when all the---she trusted him, but how could she completely ignore---

"I'm not too good for you, get--get the fuck over yourself if you think that's---it's not, it's not that!" Holy shit, they should've had this discussion months ago, "It's---I'm not ready for any of that, any of this--I can't, and you--you are wonderful and sweet and kind," please, please be honestly kind, "And I can't, I can't settle down and give you what you want because that's---it's not what I'm meant to do and fuck if I know what it is I'm supposed to do, but--I just know---"

Erin shook her head, biting her lip hard as she tried to hold back her tears, "You're my friend, Aland, and I've missed you, and I don't want you to think---I--hate you, because---because I really, really don't."

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[info]cheese_nammit
2008-02-26 06:45 pm UTC (link)
"That's not..." Aland shook his head, "You break up with someone and unless you run in the same circles and stuff yeah, you don't talk. It's just. The way things go," he said quietly, shrugging. He'd only really committed to like one other person and she'd thought him a duffer and then went and got pregnant from someone else. So of course there was hating. There had to be hating, its how it went on the wireless soap operas.

Aland frowned not knowing why she was getting so angry now and why it wasn't about the dog. "Who asked you to settle down? You're the one who asked me to move in, Erin. I don't know what you're talking about, I didn't ask anything of you, did I? I thought we were just... whatever. I didn't want anything but you."

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