"But why not?" she exclaimed before she could even think to stop herself, and Erin felt a flurry of anger hit, "You break up with someone and---and after a few days, weeks, you talk, you can talk, I miss talking to you, Aland, you're one of the best friends I ever had and---and the closest I can get to talk to you is you---you kidnapping the dog! I mean---"
Erin ran a quick hand through her hair, astonished that he really believed all the things he was saying. Had she ever? How--she hadn't acted meanly to him, she wouldn't have nastily spoken to him, ever, so where was he getting that she hated him? Did he think that all of his ex-girlfriends hated him? Did he think that's how life went?
"I fucked up, I shouldn't have done it the way I did, but holy fuck, Aland! I don't hate you! I can't hate you! I have tried to hate you, but I fucking can't." Erin didn't want to open a new can of worms, but did anyone know how hard it was---working with the aurors, having two for brothers; people talked about the Averys, they talked and all Erin could do was say 'Oh, no, Aland's not like that, I wouldn't think so, no' when all the---she trusted him, but how could she completely ignore---
"I'm not too good for you, get--get the fuck over yourself if you think that's---it's not, it's not that!" Holy shit, they should've had this discussion months ago, "It's---I'm not ready for any of that, any of this--I can't, and you--you are wonderful and sweet and kind," please, please be honestly kind, "And I can't, I can't settle down and give you what you want because that's---it's not what I'm meant to do and fuck if I know what it is I'm supposed to do, but--I just know---"
Erin shook her head, biting her lip hard as she tried to hold back her tears, "You're my friend, Aland, and I've missed you, and I don't want you to think---I--hate you, because---because I really, really don't."
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