Who: Sebastian and Mackenzie Goldstein
What: They're like fuck it I can't live without you HOLD ME
Where: St. Mungo's!
When: Today :[ Angst filled day



Sebastian ignored the worried, hushed tones of the healer and nurse in the room, and remained slumped forward on the examination table. They'd been placing spells, potions, and creams onto the gash on his back, which had been throbbing terribly, even more than the first day he got it. They'd immediately recognized the dark magic, and with sunken eyes Sebastian confirmed that he'd been attacked because he was a muggleborn, and had been too scared to get it healed.

Part of that was true, at least.

They told him to stay put, to not move, and hurried away to get whatever it was a healer needed to fix this. If they could fix it. Sebastian felt like Christopher had placed a literal weight onto his back, the pain affecting every move he made and got heavier and heavier with each passing minute. He thought it would just go away, but it had become too unbearable and Sebastian had unceremoniously left the bakery photoshoot to head into the hospital. It hurt so bad that he had even forgotten that his estranged wife was probably on rounds right now, and that there was a good chance he would run into her.

Another pang of pain stung his chest, but Sebastian knew it wasn't from the scar. His soul hurt, because his other half was---Sebastian let himself fume and rage the first night after their fight, but after that? God, the pain of being so angry at Mackenzie completely overwhelmed him, and he hadn't been able to leave the guest room of the Smith's. He couldn't move it---it was terrifying, how vulnerable he felt at that point, but he accepted it completely. Sebastian didn't know how he could survive without Mackenzie, and the thought had ached at him before their lives were disrupted by other people.

Again.

Why was it, that all of their fights, the ones that mattered, were not necessarily started by them? Every one of their major issues revolved around blood status and relationships with those that supposedly cared about them, so---what the fuck? That's all he could really ask, what. The. Fuck. Why did people care so much about what they did? Weren't there a million other things to do in life than try to fuck over a couple that wanted nothing to do with the war and who was fighting for what? Sebastian had aligned himself with the Order, yes, but how could you decline an invitation to help save the fucking world? You couldn't.

You could decline helping keep death eaters' identities a secret, but the thought just made him groan. Sebastian's elbows pressed into his thighs, a cool breeze going over his bare back from the hallway behind him. His face was buried in his hands as he tried to calm his thoughts, but it was a vicious cycle of death eaters, the Order, the scar, and Mackenzie. Mackenzie, Mackenzie, Mackenzie, it would repeat, like a broke record, before looping around again.

She didn't even know why she was here. It was pointless, she was less useful than an intern the first day on the job, but what else could she do? Where else could she go? Walking around like a zombie, barely registering the people and events going on around her at least was much less painful than going home, where every single thing down to a creaky floorboard reminded her of Sebastian.

Sebastian. Just his name made the void in her chest grow larger. She had long passed the point of feeling depressed, or any emotion for that matter, and simply gone on to feeling absolutely numb. Mackenzie's mind was completely blank, her body going through the motions without any recognition from upstairs. It felt like her hands weren't her own hands, her feet were awkward like they had been stitched on, and never in her life had she felt like everything around her just didn't really matter.

Only the sight of Anthony was able to evoke any kind of emotion from her, but nothing any mother would be proud of. She should have felt horrible for constantly frowning at the sight of her son, and eventually bursting into tears around him, but how could she not look at him and instantly see Sebastian's face? Mackenzie didn't even care if the nanny she hired on the spot thought she was insane: what did she know?

At least here looking like the walking dead was not a sight for sore eyes. She felt her neck lag, and for no reason at all she began to lifelessly look into the rooms as she walked them on her way to the break room. One person asleep, another very much awake and screaming, there was pus in that room, closed door, closed door, and---

"Oh---!"

Her feet immediately planted themselves to the ground without warning at the familiar figure of Sebastian, causing Mackenzie to crash head first into a random cart in front of her. Completely ignoring that half the potions on the table had nearly fallen and broken, she jumped to the wall for cover, flinching at the loud noises as she went. After a few seconds (and many glares) she began to piece and put back everything into place in hopes it would distract her enough to not go into a hyperventilated state of shock.

There was no need to ask what he was doing here, even her vacant mind had even been able to piece that answer together quickly.

Mackenzie pushed herself so close to the wall that if she was any closer, and had the will power, she probably could have gone through it. Her legs felt weak, and she slid down slightly, her hands going to her cover her face face. Had he seen her? There was still a chance to get away... as much as Mackenzie wanted so desperately for her to forget these last twenty seconds, she knew she couldn't just walk away and continue her aimless march. He was right there on the other side of the wall, and even though she knew he didn't want to look at her, she couldn't just walk away from him.

Breathe, breathe, breathe. Mackenzie waited a few more moments before daring to peek into the room, her hands curling tightly to edge of the door. She kept her nose close to her hand, barely able to move as she blinked widely. She couldn't help it, she had too, just to see what they were doing to him in--- a large rock caught in her throat once she inched the corner to meet his direct gaze from across the room.

A jolt went through her body as it felt like his eyes were burning holes through to her soul, and she jerked up to her regular height. But that was the extent of her movement. Glued to where she stood, and too terrified to walk in without permission, let alone speak, she stayed frozen at the door.

His eyes only pulled up from the tiled floor because of the crash, and even then he blinked wearily at the spilled potions from the cart. Sebastian was staring at the mess, but he wasn't looking at it; his mind felt as if it were watching from far, far away. He couldn't register the noise he heard, the familiar yelp that he should have memorized by now. Sebastian just stared, hopelessly and tiredly out into the hallway, his eyes going out of focus as his mind drifted away again.

He'd never known, or thought he would know, what depression felt like. He wasn't stupid, he knew what he was going through and that he needed to get out of it, but Lord. Sebastian had had no idea how extremely painful and exhausting it all was. He'd almost sunken this low during the M.A.G.I.C. act, but he'd managed to keep up hope. Maybe it was all the other muggleborns rallying alongside him, but he didn't have that now. Now he was all by himself with this mess. There was no way he could divulge with his friends about how seriously Mackenzie had fucked up (yes, there was no denying that by anyone, he was sure), and he couldn't tell the Order about this because then there was a major liability and---it was stressful.

Sebastian couldn't handle stress, not without Mackenzie. How was he supposed to deal with the fact that one of his best friends had just been murdered? Killed right on the platform where they'd first met and become friends. How was he supposed to deal with Fabian's death without Mackenzie? She was the calm to his constant entropy, she made sure he didn't lose his mind over the silliest and most important of things, so now. Now he'd released all of that kinetic energy and was left a deflated, useless human being.

But wait--

The sight of Mackenzie did things to him that nothing else in the world could. Seeing her standing in the doorway made his heart pump again, his eyes finally find focus, and his brain was actually aware of what was going on around him; the fog like state had lifted, and everything falling back into place made the faintest of smiles curl up on his face.

It didn't last long, as her terrified expression hurt him again. Sebastian ducked his eyes, feeling lower than dirt for being the reason behind the look in Mackenzie's eyes. He wasn't sure how he could be so right but feel so bloody wrong. Curling his shoulders, Sebastian's hands settled in his lap, feeling like a scolded child or wounded creature, waiting for some more punishment.

"Hi," he muttered, looking up at her again and feeling his chest pound.

Her legs felt so weak, she was sure if she loosened her knuckled grasp on the door too quickly she would simply slip to the ground. Or break something else. Everything had begun to blur together, time stopped while speeding up, and someone could be screaming her name for bloody murder, but all she could focus on was Sebastian. Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian--- Mackenzie hungrily looked at him, her eyes as open and wide as they would ever be. Her fingers twitched as her knees flexed, and she had never felt so torn between wanting to go right to him, and knowing it better if she didn't just yet.

He looked so sad. And in such pain. Her body sparked alive to this revelation, her chest instantly giving out a burst of ache. What had Christopher done, what had he possibly inflicted upon Sebastian that left him this--- Mackenzie immediately stopped searching for any sign of trauma, realizing that since he wasn't her patient, and he didn't want to talk to her to begin with, she had no right wondering.

An uncontrollable frown formed on Mackenzie's face as her head tilted awkwardly to the side. It took her a while to speak, with her jaw continuing to keep tightly clenched shut and her throat refusing to open easily, but eventually, she was finally able to find her voice. "Hello," Mackenzie choked out, her empty hand going to wrap around her neck. It felt like she had just eaten sand, or nails, the way her throat felt so dry.

Suddenly Mackenzie felt very hot, her heart pounding so hard that it was all she could hear. Sweat began to accumulate all over her body so much that she was sure if she wiped her hand on her robes, they would leave an ill-looking trail of dampness. The silence between them was more than stifling and--- what did that really matter? Mackenzie's heart began to sink, and her gaze finally dropped from him to the ground. She had long given up looking healthy, or caring, so what did anything really matter when she husband was this close to leaving her? Sebastian, the man she felt like she could hardly breathe without, the father of her son, the one person in the entire world she actually trusted because in the end, he had been the only one to honestly care more about her than himself. And she had just--- just ruined everything, alienated him, made herself believe everything was fine when it wasn't.

What was wrong with her?

Mackenzie's feet felt like they were tripping over themselves where she stood, and she teetered slightly from side to side. "I didn't--- know--- I didn't know you were here. I would've-- " Would have what? She took a large gulp of breath, closing her eyes only for a second as she tried to push down the waves of depression threatening to drown her. "I would have--- have--- can I come in?"

He nodded, not wasting a second. God, since he'd walked onto Platform 9 and 3/4 with Frank, all Sebastian had wanted to do was go home and cry to Mackenzie. Cry, he couldn't even attempt to try and be a man about everything; all Sebastian wanted to do was grab his wife and hold her close while he finally let out all the emotions he'd been forced to bottle up. Sebastian Goldstein did not bottle up his emotions, it wasn't in his nature, so these past few days had him nearly shaking with anxiety and stress. His friend, one of his best friends was dead, murdered in the line of duty, it was---

His family! Sebastian's thoughts kept running to the Prewetts' families, and how terrible they must be feeling, and here he was, avoiding his wife when he should be spending every possible second with her. Sebastian hated that he still had some trepidation about trusting Mackenzie, but maybe--who knew if she would continue with her ways. Maybe---maybe she'd finally understand, maybe this was hurting her as much as it was him---it looked like it----

God, he should not be glad that his wife was hurting, but maybe she finally understood. Sebastian wasn't a whiner for no reason, he didn't bitch and moan to cause a scene. He let so much slide by because he would rather be relaxed and calm, he didn't like starting trouble, getting into trouble. Sebastian spoke when he knew it was necessary, when he felt like he could make a difference, so--maybe.

"I want to come home," Sebastian let out lowly, feeling like a child ready to cry to his mother. Defenseless! He was a complete wreck of a human being at the moment, and his slumped posture gave the impression that he'd been defeated. Defeated by life, it felt like.

The other healers entered the room at this point, carrying vials of potions and jars of substances that Sebastian didn't like the look of. His eyes widened and he reached out for Mackenzie, praying that she'd hold onto him during whatever the healers were planning to do.

That simple confirmation was all she needed. Despite everything, Mackenzie rushed forward, not stopping until her arms were completely wrapped around his neck and she had buried her face into him. Sebastian's familiar sent overwhelmed her, and the tears she had been holding back for so long finally came pouring out. She shook as she held onto him tightly, feeling just fine with the fact that she could never let go and be happy the rest of her life.

Mackenzie began to nod furiously through her tears. "I want-- I want you to come home too!" she sobbed. "Please come home! I don't--- I can't--- I can't live without you!" Her fingers moved to wrap themselves into his hair as she cried harder, completely unable to stop now. She didn't care if he wasn't ready for them to go back to normal, or if he still wanted to talk about it (so much had happened in the past week, she wouldn't even know where to begin), no, she didn't care about any of that, because whatever he wanted, she would do it. No questions asked, no arguing no... nothing. This was all her fault and she was going to fix it.

Finally opening her eyes, by chance she glimpsed over his shoulder as she was turning her head---

A gasp of horror worked itself into her sobs, and as quickly as she could, Mackenzie let go of Sebastian. That--- that was what had been--- Sebastian put off treating for--- because of her. Immediately Mackenzie went very quiet, one hand still hooked on the side of his face as she stared at him with such sorrow; she felt like she was going to break into a million pieces right there.

That wouldn't go away, that scar would never go away, he was going to have that for the rest of his life. A constant reminder, of everything, all of this--- her empty hand covered her mouth just as two more healers entered the room.

Quickly avoided their looks, Mackenzie made herself busy by shuffling to the chair across from his table. She pulled it as close to him as possible, watching everything they brought in out of the corner of her eye. Taking both his hands into hers, she squeezed them tightly. "Everything is going to be okay."