"Right, quick, okay," Zach said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a deep breath, "Okay so follow me. I talked to Fiona. Well, more like she talked at me, I bumped into her at the store or whatever, and I made some decisions? About my life, anyway," Zach pushed open the door to the nursery, because it wasn't just a spare room any more, it was the nursery. For his son. "I picked the
colour because I liked it, but that can change, I just didn't want white anymore when I was working in there." He pointed at the
box on the floor and sort of waved casually at it, "That's supposed to be a dresser, but I'm not sure where to start. I didn't get a crib because well, I want you to pick one out. Or rather, I want to go pick one out with you and repaint the room or do decorations and stuff with you. I like the grey-blue but if it was a girl we could do something different, but since it's a boy," Zach tried to contain his happiness at that, "We can do a matching colour? Or something bluish. If you like it."
Closing the door behind her he turned to the corner and pulled open a door that was spelled to look like the wall, "This one goes into
my room, our room, which I've set up for him too, sorta. I mean, I've been reading the books and they say that the baby needs to be in a bassinet for awhile, and this one can be at your place too, if you want to keep your place," Zach was quickly running out of breath but he had just so much more that he wanted to get out.
"And I talked to my manager and we've rescheduled everything and I'm not leaving the country again for awhile, possibly in February but that's far away and I can just, do something else instead." Zach ran his hands through his hair, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he looked at Brianna. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him and how much he was willing to do and how far he was willing to go for her. For her and his son and how much he wanted to hug her and hold her until it was alright again. But he also knew he needed to prove something, he wasn't quite sure what exactly he needed to prove, but, he was trying very hard to figure it out.
"I know I just, I'm lame and I'm probably the last person in the world anyone would willingly have a kid with, let alone like this, but I want you to know that I love you and I want you here, with me. And if we can't make this work, it'll kill me but I'm still not going anywhere. I'm here and I'm not leaving." Taking a deep breath Zach hunched his shoulders and looked at Brianna, trying to tell what she was feeling from the look on her face.
"If you want me to propose, I will, but I figure I've fucked up enough already, I want to do that right. When we're ready, like, really, really, really, ready. But I will do anything for you,
anything, because you are my life and the most important thing to me."
