Backdated to the first day of Easter hols lmfao
WHO: Daisy Hookum (
HOOKUM, YOU HEAR HER) & Tilden Toots
WHAT: LOL
WHEN: A WHILE AGO
WHERE: A FLOWER-SHAPED BED.
Ow.That was really all that Daisy Hookum's mind would allow her to process in her groggy waking moments. A hand blindly went up to cradle her head, which was throbbing like she had someone inside beating at her brain over and over---and it was
bright, even with her eyes screwed tightly shut it was like there was light glaring straight at her, like---like someone had shined a flashlight in her eyes. It was painful, she was in a load of
pain, that was the point, despite the strange softness of the bed that she was laying in.
She'd never felt this terrible in her life, and yet she still recognized the signs of a bad hangover now. Not that she even remembered drinking, but that was a problem she could solve later. Now as she was beginning to come out of the land of dreams, Daisy was sensing that there were more issues with this situation than just that she didn't remember getting drunk, or what she had done last night. What was more important right this moment was
why this did not feel like her bed, and why her skin felt so strangely close to the soft sheets that she was laying under.
Still, maybe she should just keep her eyes closed for a few moments longer. After all, whatever awaited on the other side of her eyelids was probably not something she wanted to wake up to.
Even Tilden couldn't have planned this more perfectly - that is, if he ever planned anything. He too, woke up with a throbbing head, and instantly pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes - yikes, he had to stop the pounding! However, he heard a shift of movement beside his huge king-sized bed, the one shaped like a big flower, and braved a squint to his right. That valiant peek was like an instant cure - the sunshine hair and the sweet sleeping face was better than any hangover potion!
The facts were these: after pleading and pleading to meet Daisy to explain his actions in person over an expensive dinner at his favorite restaurant, he was able to win her heart, and they went off to get married. And that was it! Well, the Cliffnotes version was pretty much all he could piece together at the moment, but he was sure that happier details would come soon enough. After all, one man could
not forget his wedding night! Not after he had stored Daisy's engagement ring for weeks and weeks until he finally proposed last night!
Tilden made a great effort to sit up. Unable to stop a wide, happy grin to cross his face, he bent over to Daisy, his big smiling face hovering just inches from her's.
"Wake up my beautiful bride! Good morning to you!" Oooh, he couldn't wait until she woke up! The start of a brand new life as Daisy Toots, he bet that she, like him, could hardly wait!
Well,
that got her to open her eyes.
Daisy shot awake so fast that she hardly knew what she was doing--it was probably a gut reaction to just Tilden's
voice actually, rather than what had come out of his mouth because oh
no she could not process yet what had just come out of his mouth. All she cared about right now was getting far far away from him, and very quickly. So quickly, in fact, that she didn't have the time to think about how she was quite naked underneath those sheets of his before she made the unwise decision to scurry out of bed.
Then again, she realized it soon enough, what with how bloody cold she suddenly was and---oh god, what was going
on? Her head was still pounding, and now she was bright red and rushing to grab the sheets off the bed, but oh now
he was uncovered and she didn't---she couldn't---
WHERE WERE HER BLOODY CLOTHES!?What in the world had happened last night, what had she gone and
done, she--- "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?" Daisy yelled, spinning (unwisely, but again she still wasn't thinking quite straight) around to face Tilden. She couldn't see them anywhere in the room, where were they she needed to find them
now!Tilden was confused. Honestly and genuinely confused. Daisy wasn't happy! In fact, she was looking pretty much the opposite...
huh?! "Daisy, my love, my wife, why are you yelling at me?!" he pleaded, quickly leaping off the bed without any thought to his... shame around his waist area. "You weren't yelling at me last night!" Well, she was, but it was mostly the yelling of the happy variety, and definitely not the angry kind!
He scratched his head as he walked closer to her - but not too close, in case his new bride decided to get violent, but
why on earth would she, perhaps she was... confused? Yes! Maybe once she was clothed, she would calm down. Gildy, his best friend, had said something about girls being violent when confused. Oh, females!
"Your clothes are..." He glanced around them, around the discarded attire that was thrown haphazardly every which way around them in last night's haste to get them off. He gave a happy shrug, unable to stop smiling because she was now
Daisy Toots. "What a night to remember, my love!"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Daisy continued to yell. Had her hands not been too busy simultaneously covering herself and searching frantically through piles of clothes on the floor for her own, she would have thrown them against her ears because she---she did not want to
hear these things he was calling her, these terrible, horrible,
TERRIBLE things! "AND STOP
SMILING LIKE THAT, YOU ARE---YOU ARE SO
DEAD!!"
He must have planned this. He must have planned it forever ago, when he asked her to see him---maybe he slipped her something in her drink at dinner last night, because Daisy was sure that even drunk off her arse it would
not be enough to make her mar---no, do---well, do
stupid things with Tilden.
He must have been smarter than he looked. Maybe he had been
playing like an idiot all along, maybe this was planned since they
met and he had been messing with her mind ever since way back then and---oh, what did it even matter, he was going to be dead in under five seconds if he didn't wipe that happy-go-lucky grin off his face.
Finally recovering all the pieces of her wrinkled ensemble from the night before, Daisy quickly shoved herself back into it, never before so happy to be wearing such an uncomfortably tight little dress in her life. When she was fully---
covered, she turned around to face Tilden, before remembering that he was of a completely different level of comfort with his stark nudity, and spinning back around to stare at the wall instead.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, PUT ON SOME
PANTS!"
But pants were the least of his worries! Tilden nibbled on his bottom lip for a second, looking for all the world, the cutest, most befuddled famous gardener - well, sans pants, or any other articles of clothing.
"BUT MY SWEET WIFE!" he protested. Oh wait, she had told him to stop smiling! But he was just so happy! Hastily he made an attempt to clamp his mouth in a straight line, because he wanted to be the best husband there was for Daisy, his little wife. Visions of the two swam in his mind - he would be outside gardening (shirtless, naturally) and he would come inside his country cottage, and there Little Daisy would be, having dinner ready for the two of them. Oh, their future together was golden!
"Look! See!" He bent down, rummaged through a pile of clothing, and produced a small black album. He showed it to her, opening up to pictures that unmistakably showed a wedding - between Daisy and Tilden. "The beginnings of our happy memories!"
No----nonononono, that was
not a---those were
not---she had to get out of there, she had to leave before she totally freaked out-- No no, she didn't think there was any more room left to freak out with, so what was the next step? Cry? Because she was right about at that point, and the album in his hands was certainly not helping matters.
That was it, then. She had to leave, and get away from him, and then she could cry about this stupid
stupid mistake she had just made and then she would fix it. There were laws against this, right? She hadn't been in her right mind last night when she'd agreed--if she had even agreed, because why even drunk would she
ever--to spend the rest of her life with this buffoon, so---there had to be easy ways of of mistakes like that, right?
Yes, yes. There had to be. There
had to be, because otherwise she had just made much more than an enormous mistake.
Pushing past Tilden without even giving him a straight glance (THE IDIOT STILL DIDN'T HAVE PANTS, SHE COULD TELL), Daisy grabbed her purse from off the bed, on the way back past him swiping the album out of his hands with such a force that it flew across the room. "I AM LEAVING, AND IF YOU
EVER SPEAK A WORD OF THIS TO ANOTHER SOUL, MARK MY WORDS I WILL
CASTRATE YOU!" she screamed, her voice getting further away on her way out the front door but somehow no less loud.
This was going to take a
lot more alcohol to fix than had made it happen, she could feel it.
