◘ я j f ◘ (ralphed) wrote in valesco,
@ 2008-02-11 21:32:00

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Ralph pulled the book closer to his chest and leaned back into his chair, letting the book jut into his stomach as he read the same sentence he had been looking at for the past ten minutes. For some reason, he couldn't really focus and honestly enough, he didn't feel like doing anything either. Too many things we racing through his head. Or at least occupying his focus. It wasn't a lot of things, but they were big things that tended to take up a lot of thought-thinking and--- yes. He definitely needed some sleep.

Letting out a sigh, Ralph pushed the book back into the middle of the table. At least the library was quiet--- and not that no-one-wants-to-talk-to-you quiet, the peaceful quiet. He had been getting that a lot lately, the one where no one talked to him. Which really wasn't fair because no one knew what had really happened with him and Miranda; he'd hardly understood and she didn't know because he hadn't told her, and, yes. Ralph definitely hated people in general at that point. He propped his head on the back of the chair, letting his legs stretch out under the table. Closing his eyes, Ralph thought about what he could do besides reading about Charms. Which he really couldn't give a rat's ass about ever.

Go to the pitch? No, Miranda could possible be there. Common room? No, Miranda. Plus the possibility of Davy, who Ralph really didn't want to talk to. The Great Hall? Maybe, it was just as neutral as the library.... Ralph's eyes snapped open as he heard someone pull out a chair at his table. A faint smile appeared on his lips as the person sat down. "Dedalus!"

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violetto_phat
2008-02-12 04:14 am UTC (link)

Drama.

So. Much. Drama.

He hated it. Honestly. He just wished that all the drama would just go away, and he could be left to focus on his N.E.W.T.s, and study, and do his homework, and worry about his own relationship issues. He wasn't used to having relationship issues! He had only gotten used to have a relationship a few months ago! But Ralph? Ralph had more experience fighting with Miranda than Dedalus had reading a book.

Okay, that was a complete exaggeration, since that was probably impossible, concidering how many books the boy had read in his entire life. He couldn't even count! Maybe it was like, 1000000...ha.

Oh, that wasn't the point! The fights that Ralph had with Miranda were usually small arguments that caused the two of them to break up and then get back together again. But this time, he could tell it was different. They had both been acting so differently at play rehearsals, and Miranda didn't even yell at Ralph for messing up a dance move anymore, but would yell at anyone else for it. It was strange to think that she yelled at him more when they were together than she did when they weren't. And after hearing about what had happened with Ludo, he was really shocked. Almost the entire school knew about it.

Except for Ralph. Of course. And Dedalus, being his best friend, felt he owed it to him to tell him. That was the right thing, right? Oh, God, he hoped so.

Taking his seat beside him in the library, Dedalus returned his smile. "Didn't mean to startle you, mate. Just figured you looked a bit lonely, is all. I mean, not that you were lonely or anything, you just looked it, so I figured I'd sit here. That alright?"

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ralphed
2008-02-12 05:10 am UTC (link)

Ralph let out a low chuckle as he motioned for Dedalus to sit down. The other boy already had, and Ralph couldn't be happier about it. Dedalus was almost the only one who still didn't look at him funny, or treat him different or anything like that. Dedalus was just... Dedalus, like he always was. And Ralph couldn't be more appreciative about it; he hadn't even asked Ralph about why he had to leave school. Probably the only person in the entire school, but, that was what best mates were for.

"I can't say that I've been the most popular kid in school lately..." Ralph mused himself, pulling his legs back under his chair and propping his elbows on the table. His face pulled tight in an uncomfortable look for a second, but then it relaxed. Ralph would never actually admit that he liked attention from other people. No, no. And it certainly wasn't because he had dated Miranda, with almost everyone and anyone knowing her. Nope, nope.

"I'm not doing anything anyway."

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violetto_phat
2008-02-12 07:33 pm UTC (link)

He didn't understand the whole deal with everyone looking at Ralph all weird and strange, when no one even knew what had happened. Not that he knew, but he figured that it had to have been something important if Ralph left without telling anyone. Dedalus knew better than anyone that when someone left school and didn't tell anyone why they left, it was probably bad. Well, at least the reasons had been when it came to Emmeline leaving school, even though she told everyone that relatives had died, but he really doubted that Ralph had the same reasons...

God, he hoped he didn't have the same reasons for leaving.

"Well, that makes two of us. But, I mean, I've never been popular, so I'm used to it." He gave him a faint smirk and leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table as he looked at Ralph, giving him a shrug. "I'm not doing much of anything either. Which is...surprising, actually." He looked down at his book, and began to play with the front cover, flipping it open before he closed it with his other hand that was positioned beneath it. He flapped it back and forth a few times, trying to distract himself before he cleared his throat and looked back to Ralph. "So, um...have you, uh...have you heard anything about Miranda lately? I mean, I don't know if you've...heard things, and I know that you two aren't exactly talking, or well, doing much of anything at the moment, so I wasn't sure if you have. Heard things, I mean."

Oh, this was terrible. He didn't know why he got so freaking flustered when it came to bringing up the fact that one of his best friend's ex-girlfriends had kissed with someone else, but he remained perfectly calm when it came to more...important things. Not that this wasn't important, but...ugh.

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ralphed
2008-02-12 10:17 pm UTC (link)

He let out a small chuckle, and Ralph shook his head slightly back and forth. "People like you, don't even give me that crap," he started, inclining his chin slightly and rolling his eyes in the process. Everyone loved Dedalus-- well, except Slytherins, but even then, no one liked them anyway. They probably just unconditionally hated everyone on the fact that everyone hated them. Or something like that.

Ralph's mood suddenly fell, though, to the mention of Miranda. His face contorted a bit into a frown and he leaned back into the chair crossing his arms over his chest. What had he heard about Miranda? Nothing. Like always for the past... how many weeks. No one really talked to him, remember? Ralph's mouth pulled together tight and he let out a long breath. "No, not really," Ralph said slowly, letting his mind tick to figure out why Dedalus would be asking him this.

It could be something... bad. Or good, Ralph supposed. Either way, he wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to hear anything about her at this point. But of course, he had to know, painstakingly or not. "Why?"

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violetto_phat
2008-02-12 11:12 pm UTC (link)

"Well, no, I mean, yeah people sort of like me I guess, but that's different from being...popular. Or, at least I think it is." He shrugged again before he went back to flapping his book cover back and forth. It was something for him to do, because he really wasn't able to sit still and have this conversation.

Bah, of course he didn't hear anything. If he had already heard about it, than Dedalus wouldn't have to be the one to tell him. And because Dedalus had the worst like ever lately, he knew that he'd have to do it. And yes, he did have to do it, because it really didn't seem right that all of Miranda's friends and Ralph's friends knew about the whole Ludo incident, but Ralph didn't. Wait, no even more people knew than that! All of Phoebe's friends, and Ludo's friends knew as well! And it was probably better for him to find out from his best friend, than to find out because he overheard someone else talking about it, and then be pissed off that no one bothered to tell him. So, Dedalus was going to bother.

"Oh, I don't know." He swallowed roughly, flapping the book one more time before he looked up at him. "You really didn't hear anything?" He looked hopeful, but that mood was killed as soon as he saw that Ralph was completely clueless. He heaved a heavy sigh, trying to think of how to break this. "Well...um, let's say that...hypothetically...Miranda kissed someone who's name is hypothetically Ludo Bagman, and everyone in the entire school knows about it except for you...and your best friend thought you should know before you found out some other way..."

There was a beat.

"...you know, uh, hypothetically speaking..."

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ralphed
2008-02-12 11:28 pm UTC (link)

Yeah. He definitely shouldn't have asked why. He should have just left it at 'no, not really' and been done with it. Then, Dedalus wouldn't have been spurred to actually tell him this shit, and he in turn wouldn't have found out, and therefore not feel like he wanted to rip his chest out and hurl it so hard it smacked Bagman in the face and suffocated him. So basically, never ask why again. It's much less painful that way.

Ralph sunk lower in his seat, bringing his hands up to his head and pushing them back through his hair. Really--- really? Miranda and Ludo? Since when! They bloody hated each other! Miranda had never--- no, it couldn't actually be true because that made no sense. Granted him and Miranda weren't--- but that didn't mean that the whole flipping world needed to turn upside down. Ralph felt his chest give a painful twitch, knowing that Dedalus wouldn't lie about this, or even say anything at all if it wasn't remotely true.

"Hypothetically, yeah," Ralph murmured, shaking his head sadly and pushing his hands through his hair again. The entire school? He took a dry gulp, unable to look at Dedalus just yet. How---how could something so--- so stupid as-- but it wasn't stupid, he just didn't want to talk about it. It was, it was... well not like it mattered now, it had totally broken up--- everything.

Bagman and Miranda?

"Are you sure?"

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violetto_phat
2008-02-13 12:04 am UTC (link)

Seeing his friend look so hurt by the news he had just told him made Dedalus want to just jump off of a cliff. Bloody hell, he should have kept his mouth shut. He was used to just sitting on the side lines during a Miranda and Ralph fight, so why he felt he had to get himself involved now, he didn't know. But he really felt like a horrible human being as he watched Ralph's reaction, even though he was trying not to look at him in all.

Boy, that spot on the desk sure was interesting...

"Yeah...I'm pretty sure."

Oh, he was more than pretty sure. There wasn't one person who was denying it, even Miranda and Ludo. Then again if there was a rumor about Ludo kissing anyone pretty, Dedalus wasn't sure if he would deny that, either. He couldn't think of anything to say to make up for the news he had just given Ralph. His eyes traveled back to look at his friend, feeling and looking very very guilty, as though he had something to do with Miranda kissing Ludo. Which he didn't. Nope! But, he had basically just crushed his spirits into nothing more than tiny tiny pieces, so there was that to feel guilty about.

"I'm really sorry, mate."

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ralphed
2008-02-13 12:56 am UTC (link)

Bagman and Miranda, Bagman and Miranda, Bagman and Miranda... the words kept playing over in Ralph's head like a broken record, and every time it repeated, it seemed to get louder and louder. Really--- really? He crossed his arms close over his chest and sunk lower into the chair so that he was able to prop his head on the back of the chair.

"Yeah," Ralph answered slowly. Finally, finally--- Ralph managed to look at Dedalus. Boy, and Ralph had thought he was down in the pits now; it looked like Dedalus wanted to bloody kill himself. Ralph frowned and inched a bit up in his chair. He shouldn't be upset, it wasn't--- wasn't Dedalus' fault that Ralph had basically screwed up his only really meaningful relationship because-- holy fuck, he loved Miranda like crazy but now... Ralph sat up straighter in his chair, letting his arms drop.

That bloody--- Bagman, oh, he was going to kill him, he was going to strangle him with his bare hands because she couldn't have actually wanted to, and he must have put onto her and-- yes. No, Ralph wouldn't believe just yet that Miranda had actually gone up to Bagman wanting him to, to--- do things and then tell the whole bloody school and then---- Ralph felt his face begin heat up. Partly from embarrassment that this was actually happening to him, and the other because he wanted to sock Bagman a new one. How-- how--- how--

"This is so fucking ridiculous," Ralph snarled out after a few minutes of silence, letting his hands fly up in the air. "I didn't even--- I didn't even do anything and she's--- she's--!"

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violetto_phat
2008-02-13 02:11 am UTC (link)

"Yeah..."

There really wasn't any need for this to be repeated, but what else could he really say? He leaned back in his chair, kind of poking at his book, making it slowly slide across the table. After about 5 pokes, it was maybe about an inch away from him, and if he wasn't so focused on his book moving measurements, he might not have jumped as high when Ralph finally reacted in the way he had originally expected him too. Regaining his composure, he stared at Ralph and raised his brows.

"...are you alright?"

Stupid question, but it seemed to slip out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Of course he wasn't alright. Just because he didn't get what made Ralph keep going after Miranda time and again, that didn't mean that he didn't want to try and help out as much as he could. Not that he didn't like Miranda, because Dedalus rarely had a problem with anyone, but she always looked at him kinda funny.

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ralphed
2008-02-13 02:32 am UTC (link)

Was he alright? Was he alright? Oh yes Dedalus, he was perfectly peachy, couldn't he tell? A angry look formed on Ralph's face as he sat up the straightest he could, and leaned in forward to the table. This was so-- so--- ridiculous! Totally and completely-- it wasn't like he could have told her anyway! What the hell did she want from him? He-- he-- Ralph's hands turned into fists as his teeth clenched.

"Do I look alright to you?" Ralph demanded in an aggressive tone, his eyes squeezed tight together as he watched Dedalus. He didn't care at all he was basically just going to take out all his anger on Dedalus, not one bit. He should have--- expected it when he told him this and--- UGH!

"Oh yes, I'm perfectly fine. Obviously I have no problem with hearing that my ex-girlfriend of just about month is snogging this total asshat. I have no problem with the fact that it's pretty much my fault because I bloody didn't tell her where I went in january. I have no problem with my---" Ralph cut himself off at that point, thinking for a split second. Then, he continued in a lower tone, hissing. "You want to know why I had to leave before? Really! Because--- because fucking--- Death Eaters attacked my--- they came right into my parents house and freaked them out! I can't tell people that! I can't tell--- Miranda because she'll-- just-- I hadn't wanted to tell her because it wasn't her bloody problem, and then she'd worry." Ralph finished, taking deep breaths as he pushed his hands harder into the table.

"So yes, I'm bloody fine. Does that answer your question?"

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violetto_phat
2008-02-13 03:29 am UTC (link)

Dedalus swallowed roughly leaning back into his chair as he watched the scene play out before him. He knew it wasn't anything personal but--

Okay, it was a little personal because he had been the one to tell him about Miranda, so of course he was going to get the brunt of the yelling and the frustration. He tried to keep eye contact, but couldn't help but take a look around as people began to 'shush' them and stare because of what Ralph was saying.

It wasn't until he started talking in lower tones did Dedalus turn his full attention back to him, leaning in a bit to get a better listen, his jaw clenching a bit as he took in each word that was being said. Suddenly, Dedalus wasn't worried at all about Miranda and Ralph, but was only concerned about what had happened with the Death Eaters. Dedalus remained quiet for a moment, staring down at the spot on the table, trying to get everything straight in his head before he turned back to his friend, now more solemn than he had been before.

"I'm sorry about your parents, Ralph. I really am. If there's ever anything I can do, just...I don't know, I'll do what I can."

He could do a lot more than Ralph knew, but it wasn't like he could tell him that. He couldn't tell anyone about the Order, and it was just...it was hard. He understood that.

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ralphed
2008-02-14 01:09 am UTC (link)

Again, Ralph felt his eyes squeeze into two tight slits. What could Dedalus possibly do to help without getting his head blown off in the process? Just about... nothing. Basically. So what that basically meant that Dedalus just felt bad for what happened, and would be a bit easier on him, Ralph. Not that he hadn't been doing so before, but--- arrgghh.

Miranda and Bagman.

Ralph shrugged suddenly, shaking his head in the process. He had to--- this wasn't Dedalus' fault. Ralph had to remember that. He had done nothing wrong except for--- nothing, actually. Taking a few more deep breaths, Ralph tried to calm himself down. Or at least enough to talk to Dedalus civily for a few more minutes.

"Whatever, it's not like---- no one can really do anything about it, Dumbledore said that they'd keep an eye on them but..." Ralph sighed again, retreating back into his chair and slumping against it. Ugh. And yes, of course othere people were staring now, he'd just bloody put on a whole scene. Just great.

"Just.... don't say anything?"

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violetto_phat
2008-02-14 02:50 am UTC (link)

Oy, he really had to stop glaring at him! Not that he didn't have a reason to glare given his current situation, but he was glaring at the wrong person. Bah. Dedalus hated being the bearer of bad news. He squirmed in his chair, avoiding eye contact for a moment, even though he could still feel him looking at him like that and--

Oh, good, he stopped. Finally.

His head nodded slightly as he explained about Dumbledore, and nodded once again, only stronger this time as he asked him not to say anything. He sat up straighter, staring his friend in the eye. It was much easier to do so when he didn't look so pissed off, even if it wasn't at him. "Yeah, definetly, this'll be between us." He gave him a reassuring smirk and then stared down at the floor, appreciating the silence for a few seconds before he went to grab his book. "I think I'm gonna head back to my room, I have a lot of stuff to do...you know, homework and such." He paused before he rose to his feet. "You staying?"

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ralphed
2008-02-14 04:00 am UTC (link)

Ralph sighed again, running his hands through his hair. At this point, it probably looked incredibly greasy for all he knew, what with all the oils and the hands and---- oh god, Miranda had implanted that into his head. Ralph shook his head quickly, as if attempting to get that thought out of his mind. It didn't work exactly, but made him able to still look like he was functioning fine on the outside.

"No, I'm--- leaving, too," Ralph replied quietly at first, but then reached for his book and stood up quickly anyway. Besides, it wasn't exactly like he could stay here anyway; people were still staring. Oh, why had he done that and gone over the deep end? So stupid, he was so stupid and--- urgh.

Ralph forced the chair back into the table roughly, and jammed the book under his arm. "I'm all for getting out of here. I never like the library anyway."

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