jrpushing (![[info]](https://www.scribbld.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} jrpushing) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.scribbld.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} themouserace, |
"You are totally a cheater! Stealing my questions," Josh said, smiling big at her. "No, it's ok. I know I make awesome questions. You can't help but steal them."
He sat there for a minute thinking about his answer. The questions were more revealing than he liked to be, but she did ask, and he did have a firm answer all questions policy. Granted, she probably didn't know what she was asking. That's not true, he knew she didn't know what she was asking. No one did.
"What do I want to be? I want to be safe and happy..." he trailed off there because he wanted to say and loved but couldn't make himself say it. He couldn't make himself admit that he knew he wasn't loved. That all he wanted was for someone to love him and want him and want to check on him the way he always took care of everyone else.
He took a deep breath and sort of shrugged, trying to play it off, but he was sure his face gave the game away. "If I could be anywhere in the entire world? I don't know I haven't really traveled much. I love hiking though so being on top of a real mountain, like the Rockies or something would be really cool. And if I had a million dollars..." he paused again.
Another telling question. He kind of wanted to order a hit on his mom and stepdad somedays. He wanted to buy a house. He wanted to buy security. He had other fanciful dreams about trips and a family, but all of those involved another person. A person that didn't exist right now. And he didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to sound pathetic either. He couldn't lie to Dari, though. So he looked at her and there may have been a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I don't know. I'm not all into the big houses and fancy cars. I want to travel, but not alone. I would want to do things with someone. Give myself a little stability so I didn't have to work so hard, maybe buy out something that will pay me for owning it so I don't have to work, like an apartment or a store, and that way all the people I care about can be taken care of. But mostly I just want to do something with people. I know? Total corny answer. My middle name is cheese, just so you know." He laughed and waited, letting himself feel his feelings and be ok with it, even though he knew it wasn't the "guy" thing to do, but Josh wasn't like other people. And he was ok with who he was, and liked who he was, but he kept to himself because of it. Kids are judgmental, and a big hearted person like him who loves easily gets hurt easily, too.
He sat there for a minute thinking about his answer. The questions were more revealing than he liked to be, but she did ask, and he did have a firm answer all questions policy. Granted, she probably didn't know what she was asking. That's not true, he knew she didn't know what she was asking. No one did.
"What do I want to be? I want to be safe and happy..." he trailed off there because he wanted to say and loved but couldn't make himself say it. He couldn't make himself admit that he knew he wasn't loved. That all he wanted was for someone to love him and want him and want to check on him the way he always took care of everyone else.
He took a deep breath and sort of shrugged, trying to play it off, but he was sure his face gave the game away. "If I could be anywhere in the entire world? I don't know I haven't really traveled much. I love hiking though so being on top of a real mountain, like the Rockies or something would be really cool. And if I had a million dollars..." he paused again.
Another telling question. He kind of wanted to order a hit on his mom and stepdad somedays. He wanted to buy a house. He wanted to buy security. He had other fanciful dreams about trips and a family, but all of those involved another person. A person that didn't exist right now. And he didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to sound pathetic either. He couldn't lie to Dari, though. So he looked at her and there may have been a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I don't know. I'm not all into the big houses and fancy cars. I want to travel, but not alone. I would want to do things with someone. Give myself a little stability so I didn't have to work so hard, maybe buy out something that will pay me for owning it so I don't have to work, like an apartment or a store, and that way all the people I care about can be taken care of. But mostly I just want to do something with people. I know? Total corny answer. My middle name is cheese, just so you know." He laughed and waited, letting himself feel his feelings and be ok with it, even though he knew it wasn't the "guy" thing to do, but Josh wasn't like other people. And he was ok with who he was, and liked who he was, but he kept to himself because of it. Kids are judgmental, and a big hearted person like him who loves easily gets hurt easily, too.
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