OWL TO MINNIE
My Minnie,
You will never, ever know what has transpired this summer. Well all right. First, there was a secret meeting in Russia with the leaders of the free world, and I was their leader. Then I attempted to assisinate Hitler, but I got my eye shot out instead, so I'll be sporting an eyepatch this schoolyear. Then I got eaten by sharks, spat back up,and reassembled by the magic of my pure soul, and I survived, somehow. How was your summer?
You miss me. You know you miss me. If you didn't miss me, you won't get the things I bought you from London last week, and you WANT them, Minnie mine.
WITH JUST AS MUCH DISGUSTING DISPLAY OF AFFECTION,
Al
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