OWL TO ALFRED
Alfredo Sauce Potter,
BUT HE LAUGHED IN THE GOOD WAY. IN THE WAY THAT IMPLIES “WOW I SURE WISH I LOOKED LIKE THAT HANDSOME YOUNG FELLOW.” Plus, my father thinks you’re funny in general, even without the extremely HANDSOME and ATTRACTIVE outfit I bought you. Alfredo, I would never make you look ridiculous. WHY WOULD YOU THINK SUCH A THING?
When did we go to Paris together? DID YOU GET ME DRUNK?
YOU CRIED? REALLY? Aww. You are so in love with me.
Touched,
Oleeve.
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