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Ronald Weasley ([info]spidersbegone) wrote in [info]riddikulus,
@ 2008-03-13 18:57:00


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WHO: Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger / Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley
WHEN: Thursday night, sometime after DA meeting
WHERE: Ron and Harry's dorm
SUMMARY: Hermione finds the stuff from Fred and George's package and arguing ensues while Harry and Ginny listen in from Harry's bed
RATING: PG-13 for swearing and mentions of sex toys lol
STATUS: Complete



Ron had never been more humiliated in his life. Fred and George spent their days thinking of ways to torture him, that was the only explanation. And they'd finally found a way that was bound to get him in trouble. Sending him sex toys? Where did they come up with this stuff? It didn't help that he'd been having extremely intense dreams of the sexual nature about his girlfriend for the past two weeks but then they have to send him a sex book, a lust potion and handcuffs to drive the point home?

Knowing it would not do well for Hermione to see any of what they sent, he hastily stuffed it under his bed mere moments after opening the package and hadn't touched it since. She'd never find it. When was she even in their room and why would she look under the bed? Well, that was what Ron was hoping anyhow.

He'd gone to the DA meeting excited and somewhat distracted, blushing profusely everytime he saw Hermione and seeing images of her and that package drifting through his head. After the meeting, he went for a walk just to clear his head a bit, sick of having Hermione look at him like he was an alien because he was always bright red.

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 12:06 am UTC (link)
...

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 01:53 am UTC (link)
The thought of using their magically linked journals to contact Ron didn't even occur to Hermione as she ascended the boys staircase and knocked quietly on the door. She just needed her notes that Ron had borrowed a few days before and it would be pointless to write an entire entry for everyone to see (or to even do the charm work) when she could just go and ask him herself. Besides, it also gave her the opportunity to see him.

When no answer came, she pushed the door open quietly and looked inside. It was empty. Stepping inside, she went to Ron's bed and started sifting through stuff on top of it and on the night table next to it, looking for her notes. Several minutes passed and she still hadn't found what she was looking for.

"Where did you put them?" she muttered to herself, searching around the area of his bed. There were some papers sticking out from under his bed that caught her attention and she fell to her knees, pulling them to her. She sifted through them, found her notes, and rolled her eyes. "Of course they'd be under the bed." She pushed the other papers back where they were and started to get up when she caught sight of a book under his bed - a rather odd place for one, in her opinion.

Glancing over her shoulder and knowing it was wrong to snoop, she pulled it out and read the cover. Her eyes went wide when she saw what it was and she had to cover a surprise gasp with the back of her hand. Ron was reading that? Though she clearly knew exactly what it was, she couldn't resist temptation and flipped it open, eyes widening even more as her eyes beheld rather graphic pictures.

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 02:01 am UTC (link)
After one of the longest walks, and the coldest, he'd ever taken, Ron retreated back to the castle, mind somewhat clearer but still filled with thoughts of Hermione and those items. He knew Hermione wasn't ready for any of that and he was okay with that. He wasn't going to push her to do anything, he loved her too much but that didn't mean he didn't think about it. It was pretty natural for a teenage bloke in love with his girlfriend to have thoughts like that. He just felt guilty for having thoughts like that, was all. He know he shouldn't, but he did.

Entering the Gryffindor dorms, he wondered where all his friends had gotten off to during his walk and he thought about going to find some of them after he got rid of his cloak and outdoor wear. When he opened the door and entered his dorm, however, he saw Hermione standing by his bed a book in her hand. For a moment he wondered what she was holding and then when he saw the look on her face he knew. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh no no no no no.

"Hermione! I can explain!" He exclaimed, turning bright red in the process and jogging towards her.

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 02:10 am UTC (link)
When Ron shouted her name, Hermione spun around to look at him, her eyes still wide and the book still held in her hand. She was caught red handed and she couldn't help the blush that found its way into her cheeks as a result.

"I -" she started and then looked at the book, at the provocative picture still drawn out on the page she had been looking at. Really, how could someone enjoy such a position. Shaking her head to concentrate and to get such images out of her head, she looked up at Ron. "What are you doing with this?" she asked in an accusatory tone, closing the book with more force than she meant to.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 02:13 am UTC (link)
"It's not mine!" He shouted immediately, on instinct alone and then realized that was a complete lie. "Okay, so it is mine but... I wasn't..." He was stuttering now, completely and utterly nervous and jumpy and not knowing what to say to make it better.

"I wasn't planning on... Fred and George sent it! As a joke! I didn't want it!" He tried everything he could think of to put the blame on his brothers. It was their fault, really. He had nothing to do with it. Okay, so he kept the stuff but that didn't mean anything.

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 02:23 am UTC (link)
For all intensive purposes, Hermione gaped at Ron when he had the audacity to say that it wasn't his. What, did the boys in his dormitory make a habit out of hiding incriminating things under his bed? Or did she really just look that stupid, stupid enough to believe him?

Crossing her arms, she waited for an explanation. She wasn't mad, not really, though she was horribly embarrassed about being caught and was unfortunately taking that shame out on Ron. "Why didn't you return it then? All you had to do was send it back to them by owl, but from the looks of things and how it was precariously tucked under your bed, it appears that you have every intention of keeping it!"

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 02:27 am UTC (link)
Ron really had no answer for that. He thought maybe it had been hexed to jump back in his hand if he tried to get rid of it in the trash but he never thought of just sending it back to them. He thought maybe a part of him wanted to keep it for the future. Plus, he was a bloke and well, he kind of liked the pictures.

"Er..." He began, turning red. This wasn't going well at all. "I thought they'd hexed it so I couldn't get rid of it." He answered with a shrug, knowing that would not satisfy Hermione in the least. She was really going to blame him for everything wasn't she? And he bet that she'd be mad at him for days now.

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 02:34 am UTC (link)
This time she couldn't stop herself from giving him an incredulous look. "You thought they hexed it and made it impossible to send it back to them?" she asked, disbelief laced in her voice. That was the stupidest thing she had ever heard.

"Even if they did, there are ways to bypass that and send it back to them anyway!" she exclaimed, tossing the book on his bed. She still felt guilty about the whole ordeal, but concentrating on how ridiculous Ron was being made it a bit easier. "Or you can tell them to quit sending you their products!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 02:36 am UTC (link)
"Well, I didn't think of that!" Ron exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. Why did things like this always happen to him? Really, did he deserve it? He may be a prat sometimes but this was a bit much.

"I've tried telling them not to send me things! This is Fred and George, Hermione! Fred and George don't care! Fred and George are evil! Fred and George are Satan's spawn!" He yelled, now pacing back and forth slightly, trying to diffuse a bit of the energy.

"You can't possibly be blaming me for this! It's all the twins' fault!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 02:44 am UTC (link)
Hermione's lips pursed, both out of habit and from frustration. Of course she knew that Fred and George were absolutely horrible, everyone knew that, but to place all the blame on them? Well, that wasn't entirely validated.

"They might have sent it to you, but you could have sent it back. Obviously there's more of an interest to hold onto it than you're letting on." She reached back to the book on his bed and flipped through a few pages again, quiet for a moment.

"I'm not placing the blame entirely on you here, but it was rather foolish of you to put it under your bed, hoping no one would spot it instead of sending it back like you should have done. And with a howler. Or you could have told your mum."

"What happens if a house-elf finds this while they're in here cleaning one day?" she asked, posing a completely hypothetical question and willing herself not to focus on how much she hated that they had to do slave labour still. "They could open it by mistake and you know that they would attempt to punish themselves for seeing something so - so, oh, I don't even know what the word is!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 02:50 am UTC (link)
Ron gaped at her. House elves? She was bringing up house elves? "You must be joking, Hermione! House elves? Who the bloody hell cares if one of them found it? They shouldn't be looking at it in the first place!" The moment the words left his mouth he knew they were a mistake. Hermione was going to freak out now.

He suspected she'd be giving him the silent treatment for no less than a week now. Between the book, not sending it back, trying to blame it on the twins and the house elves comment... he was in the doghouse for sure.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 03:00 am UTC (link)
While Hermione hadn't really been angry with Ron at first, now she really was. He knew how sensitive she was about house-elves and he knew that talking about them in such a degrading manner irked her more than anything, even more the pureblood mania.

"Who cares?" she asked, her voicing raising an octave and in volume. "You might not care, Ron, but I most certainly do! They wouldn't realise they were doing something wrong at first until they see those - those pictures! And they don't snoop, as you so kindly implied! Their job is to clean up our dormitories and our common rooms, a job they don't even get paid for!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 03:05 am UTC (link)
Ron groaned when he realized what exactly he'd done by saying that very stupid comment of his. He was in for it now. Really, he expected canaries at any moment. Or maybe something worse, like hawkes.

"That's not what I meant!" He protested loudly, now almost yelling. "Everything is about house elves some way or another! This is about Fred and George being prats and making my life miserable, not about your bloody house elves!" Now he was frustrated. First it wasn't his fault in the first place and now he was in trouble because of something that hadn't happened with house elves that hadn't been around.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 03:13 am UTC (link)
"I know this is about them!" she interjected, trying to outshout him now. They always did this. Fight over anything and everything, but really, he deserved it this time. And now it wasn't even about that stupid book of his. How could he possibly be so insensitive?

Not your bloody house elves. Hermione gaped at him for several seconds, momentarily stunned that he said that. "My bloody house elves?" she swore, narrowing her eyes at him. Words could not express how angry she was at him now. "You can be the most insensitive prat sometimes!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 03:16 am UTC (link)
"So you keep telling me!" He shouted at her, glaring slightly and wondering why he was always the bad guy. "Big bad Ron, always the bad guy!" He yelled, pacing back and forth and throwing his hands in the air for what seemed like the millionth time.

"This is not my fault, Hermione! You're blowing it out of proportion!" He knew she wouldn't be happy with that comment but at the moment he didn't care, frankly. She was making too big a deal out of the house elves comment and the rest of it too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ron and Hermione argument
[info]athenaspupil
2008-03-14 03:24 am UTC (link)
When his shouting was directed straight at her, Hermione squared her shoulders and resisted the temptation to get her wand and just hex him into next week. The argument had gone well beyond Fred and George sending Ron the Kama Sutra. Instead, it had progressed into something much worse, something she neither expected nor intended to happen. She had just been making valid points, ones that were perfectly acceptable in her opinion because the house-elves could find the book while they were cleaning.

Her frown deepened unattractively and she turned back to the book on his bed. Scowling, she picked it up and just threw it at him. "Now I've blown it out of proportion!" she practically hissed and then pushed past him, storming out of his dormitory and making sure the door slammed shut behind her.

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Ron and Hermione argument
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 03:28 am UTC (link)
"Ow!" Ron exclaimed when the book hit his chest roughly and then fell to the ground. "Bloody hell, woman!" He shouted roughly, reaching up to rub the spot where the hard book had hit him. He watched as she brushed past him and stormed out and he scowled, turning and kicking the post of his bed so hard his toes hurt.

"Fucking Fred and George. All their fucking fault." He swore, throwing the book at the wall and storming out the dorm himself to go mope and brood somewhere in the castle.

(Reply to this)(Parent)
Harry and Ginny commentary
[info]spidersbegone
2008-03-14 12:07 am UTC (link)
...

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 12:18 am UTC (link)
Harry ran into the dormitory, laughing as he beat Ginny by mere inches to the bed. What a bloody fantastic night! The first meetings of the DA had been spectacular, not even a prat like Zacharias could bring it down. The younger years had been enthusiastic and actually quite respectful - there were a lot of uncomfortable stares and whispers, but once they all got to work, they seemed to ignore 'The Saviour' among them. And the older years - well, it was just brilliant to back with the old group, so many of them that had fought for Hogwarts during the battle, and even better, new members who just wanted to be a part of it. I couldn't have asked for it to have gone better. Everybody knows, we can't forget - everybody knows, we have to stay - well, vigilant. I wasn't alone tonight, they aren't unprepared - we will keep Hogwarts safe.

He jerked the curtains closed, glancing at Ginny and feeling flushed and delighted. The moment all of the protective spells were cast, making it seem like no one was in the bed, Harry dropped his wand on the blankets and grabbed Ginny's face, kissing her hungrily. Yes: tonight, they would be uninterrupted by everything going on, just the two of them.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 12:45 am UTC (link)

Ginny let out a squeal, pulling Harry down to the bed. Now this was the Harry she had been waiting for, a happy, fulfilled Harry not haunted by his own demons. She yanked his shirt off and tossed it, giggling as it bounced off of the solid wall of the curtains and ran her hands up his chest.

Between kisses, she heard a noise, clear as a bell, on the other side of the curtain. She laughed harder, letting Harry take off her jumper. "Someone's here," she trilled, waving at towards Ron's bed. It was quite amazing, actually, how well they could overhear--and that anyone else in the room couldn't hear a thing between she and Harry.

Well. Hopefully they would go: this had the recipe for a distraction, especially if it was Ron...and worse, if it were Ron with Hermione. Well, not for her, she was used to the noise of her family intruding in her life and therefore tuning it out. But Harry? Like he'd take off her bra with Ron and Mione talking ten feet away. Sod it!

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 02:14 am UTC (link)
Harry had her bra unfastened and was slipping it down her arms when he heard Ron cry out. Ron? Hermione? Oh sodding hell! He scrambled back from Ginny, actually able to ignore the fact that she was, for all intents and purposes, topless, as he frowned with worry. "What's going on?" he whispered urgently to her.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 02:18 am UTC (link)
Ginny let out an annoyed grunt: well naturally Ron had to spoil her snogging! She defiantly took off her bra and tossed it onto the bed, letting her long hair cover her chest as if she were Lady Godiva. "Oh, stop whispering, don't be a prat," she said crossly, yanking Harry back towards her, glaring in the direction of her brother's voice.

She frowned, though, as she heard Hermione counter. "That sounds--like a book? What does she mean?" Ginny asked Harry.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 02:29 am UTC (link)
His eyes bugged out. "Oh shite. Uh-" He sighed deeply. Well, Ron, I technically didn't tell her. You did. "Don't tell your mum okay? But - the twins are making up a sex line, and I guess they send products to Ron for him to test - a, uh, lust potion, handcuffs, and a Kama Sutra," he mumbled in a rush. "I told him to toss them since he didn't want them, but he was kind of being odd about it, saying that he was sure they were hexed, so he didn't which I thought was slightly weird," Harry admitted, "and now - I guess - he tried to hide them - and - well, there we are," he finished in the same rush, his face turning red.

He sighed. "Oh, this is going to be a disaster," he moaned in sympathy for Ron. And poor Hermione - this has got to be - good god, what a mess!

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 02:33 am UTC (link)
Ginny slapped her forehead. Well, that did explain why the twins were so hung up on sex lately. Ron, what a chickenshite for not getting rid of the things if he didn't want them--no, what a chickenshite for being afraid of them! Merlin's knickers, Ronald...

"I don't know who's a bigger prat here, the twins or Ron!" Ginny said in exasperation.

She hesitated. "Ten galleons that Mione hexes him for being a prat," she said, remembering the tale of the canary incident.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 02:35 am UTC (link)
No way. Hermione's Head Girl, no way she'd hex a prefect out of spite. Or anger. Or embarrassment.

Holy sodding shite, I hope they think they are alone in here!

Harry looked at Ginny and nodded. "You're on," he told her, reaching to the shelves above his bed and grabbing some chocolate frogs to eat as they listened in to the show.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 02:38 am UTC (link)
"Damn right, Mione," Ginny called out, raising a fist in solidarity. "How much of a wanker is my brother, really!"

She looked at Harry curiously. "What would you do with that stuff?"

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 02:43 am UTC (link)
Harry sighed. "Ron has a point, he didn't ask for this stuff, not at all. Hermione can't blame him for getting it - but she does have a point too, she can blame him for keeping it and for not doing a sodding thing to get rid of it. But then again, Ron shouldn't be ashamed of it - but then again, he should be apologising to Mione for having stuff like that when they clearly aren't at that level, not scrambling to cover his own arse." Harry shook his head. "They're in the bollocks now. I think that hex is looking quite likely."

He looked at Ginny, his topless girlfriend, and swallowed. "Well, erm - I certainly wouldn't need that lust potion," he said honestly, glancing at her chest and then grinning at her. "But that book might come in handy. Then again angel - you are not Hermione," he pointed out. "You'd be thrilled if I had that book."

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 02:48 am UTC (link)
"Damn right I'd be thrilled," Ginny purred, leaning in to give Harry a kiss, but Hermione's response made her jerk back. "Oh, Hermione," she sighed heavily, settling into Harry's lap and breaking apart a chocolate frog. "We should have made a bet on when she'd bring the house elves into it."

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 02:57 am UTC (link)
Harry gasped at Ron's retort. He took the other half of the chocolate frog and shook his head sadly. "Ron's a dead man. Been nice knowin ya, mate," he called out, saluting.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 03:07 am UTC (link)
Ginny's eyes widened. "Did you hear her voice? I think it just rose to an octave that only dogs can hear." She sighed. "After Mione kills Ron, do you think I can annex his room?" she asked suddenly.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 03:09 am UTC (link)
Harry was about to admonish Ginny for her joke, but then - Oh, Ron! "Her bloody house elves?" he repeated in disbelief. "Do you think McGonagall will be able to scrape the pieces of him off of the walls?" he asked in genuine concern.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 03:19 am UTC (link)
"She might need to call in Flitwick. And some Aurors, since Mione's anger might be akin to the damage from the dark arts," Ginny said, her eyes wide, as she snuggled back into Harry's arms. "Oh, Ron. Apologise already!"

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 03:25 am UTC (link)
But Ron didn't. And Harry slapped his forehead, letting out a loud moan. Ron! Mate! No! Don't you get it? The guy is never right. Apologise early and often! "Ron. Ron! Is he barking?" he gasped. He looked at Ginny in horror. "If I ever do this in a fight? When a simple apology would solve things? Hex me. Really. Do it."

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 03:31 am UTC (link)
"If you insist," Ginny said dryly. Actually, Harry saying that was the best gift, and she kissed him briefly. But Hermione's storming out made her sigh, partly because she thought Hermione was completely in the right...and moreover, now she was out money she really didn't have. "Ten pieces to you," she sighed. Her brother, the moron. Men. The entire gender was deficient, she was certain, even her lover here had his moments of sheer prattery.

Even so, she felt bad for her brother. To fight with the person you love...it never felt good, ever. It felt like a part of your heart was walking away, too.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 03:35 am UTC (link)
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but he winced, listening to Ron kick and throw things. And then blame it all on the twins. Mate - it's on you, too, you - oh sod it. He sighed, rolling his eyes, vowing to never be this stupid with Ginny ever - and knowing that he probably would, between both of their tempers. But still. Maybe they would be lucky!

He sighed. "Should we follow after them?" he asked. Say no.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]ginnyweasley
2008-03-14 03:37 am UTC (link)
Ginny grunted. All of her sympathy for Ron evaporated the moment he blamed it all on the twins. What a male.

"And say what? 'We overheard the whole thing?'" Ginny said in disbelief. She sighed. "Maybe with time, Ron will realise he took it so far, they ended up in Tibet." She tilted her head and brushed her hair away from her chest. "I'd much rather stay here, please and thank you," she murmured, leaning towards Harry.

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Harry and Ginny Commentary
[info]hjpotter
2008-03-14 03:43 am UTC (link)
Harry felt so bad for Hermione, and felt like he could maybe get through to Ron, get his best mate to apologise and head off this fight now - but Ginny was right.

And Ginny was topless.

He ran his hands over her chest and gently lowered her to the bed, Ron and Hermione completely forgotten. "Please and thank you to you, too, I'll be happy to stay right here," he agreed, the fight forgotten with the first kiss.

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