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battle_shield ([info]battle_shield) wrote in [info]marvel_nextgen,
@ 2013-04-21 00:46:00


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Entry tags:joshua hoskins, lena jessen

Keeping a Promise
 He couldn't believe he was doing this. Still, he'd given his word. Josh steadily breathed in his nose and out his mouth as he headed for the lab. The more he thought about it, the more it did make sense..of course that didn't stop fear from nestling in. He reached the lab, knocking gently on the door. He then realizes she likely won't hear that. He knocks louder.




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[info]bio_nerd
2013-04-22 02:33 am UTC (link)
The lab wasn't exactly all that quiet, or small, and a gentle knock wasn't heard at all. The louder one does get through and register. After being pretty much shut out of the lab for a week to 'recover' as the higher ups put it, she'd dove back into work. Finally some good coffee.

Lena turned in her chair slightly to one of the lab techs. "Could you get that please? Just let whoever it is in and take a lunch, I think we're good for setting up the second part." If this was another case of 'shouldn't you have taken more time off?'...

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[info]battle_shield
2013-04-22 02:36 am UTC (link)
"Thanks," Josh says to the tech. When the man leaves, Josh walks in. "Hey, Lena." Very eloquent, dumbass.

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[info]bio_nerd
2013-04-22 02:39 am UTC (link)
"Hey Josh," she smiled at him before turning back to what she was working on. "What brings you here? And if this is an inquiry into my working hours..."

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[info]battle_shield
2013-04-22 02:42 am UTC (link)
He puts his hands up in an "I surrender" motion. "Don't worry, I know better than that. Actually..I wanted to talk to you..but if you're busy I can come back later."

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[info]bio_nerd
2013-04-22 02:57 am UTC (link)
"Weren't you the one who said we're never not busy, we just have slower days?" She teased with a smile without turning back to him just yet. Finishing up a last note she spun around in her chair and tilted her head at him. "So shoot, what did you want to talk about?"

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[info]battle_shield
2013-04-22 03:00 am UTC (link)
Oh boy. Josh takes a seat.

"Thing is..this whole kidnapping thing..well it's really put some things in perspective. You got back okay, but it could have gone differently..and things could have gone unsaid."

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[info]bio_nerd
2013-04-22 03:17 am UTC (link)
She leaned on her hand casually and surveyed him, her brow furrowing as he continued. What was he getting at? "Seriously Josh, I'm fine, no need to worry. I've done all the psych checks, had enough lunches with Val, took that silly mandatory week off...it's all good and behind me. Only things unsaid are some choice words for those kidnappers but that's a separate thing." Why did she have a nagging feeling she could see something coming, but wasn't sure enough to know whether to stop this here or not? She was of analytical mind, she should be better at this!

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[info]battle_shield
2013-04-22 03:29 am UTC (link)
"I know you're fine, and I'm grateful for that. It's just.." Damn it, Hoskins, you can do this. I mean hey, it's just your whole friendship could be screwed up if she doesn't feel the same, but no pressure. Frankly he wasn't sure what side his mind was on about this. "Truth is Lena.." Oh the hell with it. "I come in to work, day in and day out. I know Shield is important and I'm proud to be a part of it, but honestly..the highlight of of each and every day I've had here..is you. You make me want to keep going even when the worst of humanity makes me want to lose faith." He takes a steadying breath. "I..care deeply about you. I understand if you don't feel the same, but..I can't go through my life wondering what might have been if I didn't say anything." He braces himself for her reaction.

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[info]bio_nerd
2013-04-24 10:24 pm UTC (link)
As he spoke she found herself biting the inside of her cheek and a creeping chill starting. Not because of Josh, no, he was great but...this got into feelings territory. And she was no good with that. Especially since...well she wasn't too sure how she felt about things. Aleks and her weren't serious, they flirted and had dinner dates and great conversation, but she liked him. And she liked Josh. As more than a friend though? Maybe, it was hard to say. She knew that if he'd asked when they were first getting to know each other, she'd have agreed. There was no friendship at stake back then, no one else to consider, and no years of viewing him somewhat platonically. Because when a guy made it clear he had a rule against dating in the organization...well you took that in stride, and moved past it.

Her first instinct was to avoid answering, because she didn't know how or what to say, and to have an excuse to go run off to the lab. Except...she was in the lab. There was no scurrying away from dealing with emotions and such, no, she was cornered. Lena blinked and opened and closed her mouth, trying to get words out amidst the shock. "I...wh...." She stopped, sighed and rubbed her face, trying to get her head straight. "Don't you have the whole rule thing about..." She gestured vaguely, just buying time because she had no idea what she was doing or how she felt.

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[info]battle_shield
2013-04-24 10:35 pm UTC (link)
"Yeah..I did, but with what happened..Nikki said some things to me that made a lot of sense despite my long-standing practice." He looked over at her, a look of sympathy crossing his face. "If you just want to be friends..I can accept that. ...I'm sorry for springing this on you."

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[info]bio_nerd
2013-05-02 02:08 am UTC (link)
She looked uncomfortable and unsure of herself. "I...right. Well it was a silly rule." It's the only thing she can think of saying at the moment, she's just feeling so confused and a bit blindsided by everything.

"...No, Josh, you don't need to..." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. It's not lost on her that she hasn't told him either yes or no, she's really floundering. "Apologize I mean. I'm no good at...this stuff." She gestures vaguely to try and indicate feelings and romantic stuff. "So...I just...wow I couldn't be more muddled if I tried I think. Sorry. I'm crap at this," she added with an apologetic, yet self-deprecating, smile.

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[info]battle_shield
2013-05-02 09:03 am UTC (link)
He smiled back comfortingly. "It's okay, Lena. Hell, if I'm being honest..I'm not that good at it either." He steadies himself for what he says next. "I know this is a lot, and I don't want you to feel obligated to say anything, but I want you to know that regardless of what you decide, you'll always be important to me." He stands up. "I'll..I'll let you get back to work."

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[info]bio_nerd
2013-05-03 10:18 pm UTC (link)
"Right...umm...thanks. See you Josh," she said with a slightly forced smile, she felt like a coward taking the easy way out he was offering here but not enough to bring herself to choose another option.

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