Svalin Thorsdottir (shield_maiden) wrote in marvel_nextgen,
@ 2012-09-06 22:43:00

Entry tags:

Talking It Through
Svalin spent days (and nights) mulling over her father's words and still hadn't come to an answer. She hadn't slept much and picked at her food. If she seemed distant or distracted it was because she had a lot on her mind. Even the rigors of the practice room hadn't helped to clear her mind or help her come to a decision.

On one hand she could ask her sister to take over responsibility of being the heiress presumptive and Svalin could join the Valkyries. It may, a big may, give her more freedom to protect her wife and son. Svalin didn't like the thought of passing responsibility off on her sister. Svalin had a streak of responsibility a few miles wide and this went against her nature.

On the other hand she could keep things like they were. It could put her son and wife at risk and she would always have to put Asgard as a higher priority. She would be doing her duty, the thing she was taught to do since she knew what duty was, to Asgard and would help her people. Did the needs of Asgard outweigh the needs of her wife and son?

She was one person and was being pulled in many directions.

Maybe it was time to talk to someone about this.

The bungalow they shared was quiet and she knew from the time that Solver was taking his daily nap. It was a good time to have a serious talk. She knocked lightly on the door to her wife's room.

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	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 12:30 am UTC (link)
	Vernique had been still working on a lot of feelings herself. She gets the door quietly. Solver's hearing made whispering practically pointless, but they could still try not to wake him. "Hey, hon." (Reply to this)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 12:31 am UTC (link)
	"Milady," Svalin said with a respectful bow of her head. "Mayst we talk?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 12:33 am UTC (link)
	"Of course. What's eating you?" Things might still be awkward, but she hadn't totally missed Svalin's lost appetite. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 12:40 am UTC (link)
	"I spoke to mine father and asked that I be removed from the line of succession in order to better protect Solver and thee." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 12:41 am UTC (link)
	Vernique pauses a moment at that, her mouth slightly open, like a fish or a teen country-pop star. "...Hon, I know I've had a hard time, but I wasn't asking you to do that." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 12:45 am UTC (link)
	"I doth know thou didst not ask. I made the choice of mine own will. I cannot serve Asgard as I should and protect the two of thee." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 12:46 am UTC (link)
	"But can you quit?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 12:51 am UTC (link)
	"Mayhap," Svalin answered. "Aridis wouldst hath to volunteer to become heiress presumptive in mine place. She wouldst hath to take the responsibilities 'pon her shoulders. I wouldst hath to resume training with Brunnehilde and the valkyries if she doth agree and swear fealty to her and them." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

butterflybullet
2012-09-07 12:58 am UTC (link)

Vernique listens, and there's silence for a while.

"Hon, I'm not going to lie. Part of me thinks that sounds wonderful. Knowing that if something happened, you could just ask to fly over with some of the girls and do something, so you're not playing Atlas when we have a family emergency? I can't pretend I can't see the appeal. But I also made you a promise that I'd never let you embarrass yourself over me." Vernique's face falls. "I've got no doubt Aridis would agree to it for you. But... hey, I'm sure she's a great goddess of the hunt. But she's obviously never planned or wanted to be in charge in a crisis. And I know you, Svalin. The minute she gets overwhelmed, the minute she makes a less-than-perfect call because she's just not ready to handle that stuff, you're going to go out of your mind."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

shield_maiden
2012-09-07 01:15 am UTC (link)

If anything could be said about her wife is that she knew Svalin well. Svalin would go out of her mind about not being able to handle things in a situation, but she was doing this for a greater reason than herself.

"This ist not embarrassing," she assured her wife. "Solver and thy safety art of most importance to me. I wouldst do anything to protect the two of thee."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 01:35 am UTC (link)
	Vernique pressed her hand. "Hon... I love you, Svalin, and I know you mean that, but..." Vernique didn't know how to say this. The words choked in her throat because 'I don't think you'll be able to stand by that decision and keep your sanity' seemed such a horrible thing to say. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

shield_maiden
2012-09-07 01:46 pm UTC (link)

Svalin shook her head. "Nay, it ist the only way I canst protect thee and Solver."

Technically there was another was to ensure Solver and Vernique were protected, but Svalin didn't see /that/ happening anytime soon. It would just add too much complication to an already complicated situation and one spouse was enough for now for both of them.

"I must do it. I couldst not live with mineself if something shouldst happen to thee or Solver. I wouldst sooner die before letting that happen again."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 04:19 pm UTC (link)
	"Well, I'm not dumb enough to try to talk you out of anything when your mind's maid up," Vernique says quietly as she reaches for a hug. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 04:28 pm UTC (link)
	Svalin shook her head and hugged her wife. "Nay. Mine mind ist not made up. I wast hoping we couldst decide which ist best for us and for Solver." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 04:33 pm UTC (link)
	"I... I really appreciate that, hon. So you'd still have to talk to Aridis, and your potential new boss to see if there's even a chance of pulling this idea off?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

shield_maiden
2012-09-07 04:44 pm UTC (link)

"Aye. Both must agree. I doth not know if I canst ask this of Aridis. She ne'er expected the responsibility or prepared for it." Svalin loved her twin and at times envied her for the seemingly carefree life Aridis led. As the eldest Svalin had always shouldered as much responsibility as she could to keep it off her twin and her siblings.

"I doth not see Brunnehilde objecting. I wilt be expected to spend more time training and eventually challenge her second."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 04:46 pm UTC (link)
	"Yeah, that's part of what I'm worried about." At the last bit, Vernique is particularly, well, Vernique. "The second doesn't lose her job completely when you kick her ass, does she? Just isn't second anymore?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	Svalin nodded. "Aye. I art worried as well." Not only for her twin, but for Asgard. It was hard thinking about doing something for herself before the Golden Realm and its people. It went against everything Svalin was taught. "Aye, she wilt still be a valkyrie." Svalin sighed heavily. "What wouldst thou do?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	"...I'd take the career change, but I'm not you, Svalin. You need to sit down with Aridis and talk -- really talk about what this would mean, so she doesn't just say 'yes' because she's trying to have your back -- before this goes any further." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	"Aye. It ist a most sensible thing to do." A pause. "There ist other council on the matter I couldst seek." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 11:00 pm UTC (link)
	"Talking it over with people is good, but why does this sound ominous?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	"The Norns do not impart wisdom or advice without a cost." Svalin knew it would be high, but she'd pay anything to protect her wife and son. Even lay down her life if it meant they would always be safe. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	"...let's try to figure this out ourselves first, Hon. You need both those eyes." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	"That wast the cost for the All-Father. I mayst be something different if I wert to seek their counsel." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm really not comfortable with any price tag we don't know in advance." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	"I wouldst pay any price to protect thee and Solver. No cost is too great." Svalin wisely left out the part of willing to lay down her life if need be. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-07 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	"I know, but we have very different shopping strategies..." Vernique bites her lip. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-07 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Svalin frowned and did not say anything. "I wilt think on it and think on talking to mine sister." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-08 12:01 am UTC (link)
	"Svalin... lay it out. Why was it a bad idea to leave to look for Solver?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

shield_maiden
2012-09-08 12:15 am UTC (link)

Svalin was quiet for a long moment. There was no answer to this question that would not make her wife angry. Yet, she couldn't lie or not answer.

"For me it wast not the right choice," she started and tried to keep her emotions under control. "The All-Father wast in the Odinsleep. Mine Father wast missing. Mine mother wast missing. Balder wast missing. Bragi fell ill. Asgard wast without a leader and the troops wert demoralized from defeats in battle. They needed a leader and it wast mine duty to lead them. I art a princess of Asgard of the line of Odin and Thor. It wast mine duty alone to step up and sit on the throne and lead. I art the eldest and the heir presumptive. Mine desires and wants art not mine to follow. E'en going after mine own son couldst not come before Asgard."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-08 12:18 am UTC (link)
	Vernique sets her jaw. This particular conversation is not about how much that hurts. She has a point to address, and she needs to address it. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you're not always going to feel that? That shuffling around the paperwork will really make you think all those lives aren't on your shoulders?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-08 12:29 am UTC (link)
	Svalin looked away. "Nay, I cannot." She shook her head. "It doth not matter what I feel or think about Asgard. Thou and Solver must be protected and I wilt do whate'er I must." Svalin had always been one to bear any burden in silence and never complain. This would be the same. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

butterflybullet
2012-09-08 12:34 am UTC (link)

"Yes. Yes, it does. You cannot stiff-upper-lip your way through this. Stop trying to be a big girl just this once and listen to me. Your moral obligation to the throne, which I admittedly find stupid and frustrating, is not going to go away because you put in two weeks' notice. It's not. Pretending it will isn't doing any of us any favors. If you stand by your decision, then ducking out isn't going to go any better just because you do it all fancy like. We need another solution."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-08 12:48 am UTC (link)
	Svalin's fingers curled into fists, but they remained at her sides. "This ist a perfectly good solution. I wouldst give e'erything in the Nine Worlds to keep thee safe. If I must bear the burden of not being able to do mine duty to Asgard, then so be it. I wilt do it and wilt do it gladly." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

butterflybullet
2012-09-08 12:54 am UTC (link)

"You... Aren't... Getting It. This is not a matter of being tough enough to make it work! If dumping it off on Aridis to help me was wrong before -- which you still think it is -- it's wrong when you've dotted each I and crossed every T! It is Never -- Going -- To Work!" Vernique takes a breath. "We need to find a way to make Solver's safety a priority without your throwing away your soul or whatever."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-08 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	"It ist only wrong because it ist what I wast taught and how I was raised," Svalin said in a tight voice. "That wast before. Before thou and Solver. Now it ist not as important as the two of thee. I wouldst not be throwing anything away, not e'en my soul. I. Wouldst. Do. Anything. For. The. Two. Of. Thee." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-09 01:16 am UTC (link)
	Silence for a moment. "One, I love you, and I believe you. Two, We need to table this conversation for at least a couple of hours." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-09 01:30 am UTC (link)
	Svalin bowed her head politely. "If milady doth wish it so." Svalin wanted to yell, but she loved her wife and she wasn't the type. She would go destroy things in the training room. "I doth love thee. If I mayst take my leave, milady?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	butterflybullet 2012-09-09 05:16 am UTC (link)
	"Yes. Thanks." And very shortly, Vernique leaves her room herself. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	shield_maiden 2012-09-12 11:15 am UTC (link)
	((END)) (Reply to this)

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