And now, it's time to play....
A studio announcer's voice cut through the crowd. "And now, it's time to play the Mojoverse's new favorite game show.... DATE OR DEATH! Where we try to match up one fabulous lady with one of our lucky contestants! The winner gains her heart, the losers gain a one-way ticket to the afterlife! And now, let's give a very special Mojoverse welcome to our host... The Host!"
The studio lights came on, revealing the studio audience and the partitioned stage. The Host appeared in a puff of smoke. "Thank-you, thank-you. We're so glad you could be apart of our very first episode of
Date or Death!. We're got a swell show for you and we just know you're going to love it! First, let's meet our lucky lady!"
He snapped his fingers and Rachel appeared in the chair next to his desk, restrained. The announcer cut in again. "Our lucky lady is Rachel Summers, a native of the Earth dimension and baby Phoneix! She enjoys piloting planes, bad romance novels, and is currently grappling with the attentions of not one, not two, not even three, but
four lucky bachelors! Let's meet our contestants!"
The four guys, with each of them restrained except for Sweepzweek, appeared in the chairs on the other side of the partition, visible to the audience, but not to Rachel.
"Bachelor number one is our very own Sweepzweek! The bad boy of the Mojoforce, teenage heartthrob, and hero of a thousand roles, he's hoping to win the hand of the lovely lady and make her a star of stage and screeeeeen!
"Bachelor number two is David Roberts, another native of the Earth dimension. He may look like a nice guy, but he's a real Wolverine underneath it all! But don't get this boy wrong, he's just at home in the garage as he is hiking through the woods. Of course, his father always told him redheads were bad news, but will he listennnnn?
"Bachelor number three is Starbridge Nermani, a prince of the Shi'ar Empire and the only boy here who's guaranteed to leave feathers, not hair, in the shower drain! He's a self-admitted intellectual and noble sort, and claims to love our redhead for her mind... but what will he do when Moooom finds out?
"Bachelor number four is Torn Ear, a cat-person from a hidden society of catpeople who fell in love with Rachel at first smell! When he's not struggling to master the English language, he's busy leaving dead birds on your windowsill! He enjoys sitting in the sun and having his belly rubbbbed!
And now, back to you, Host!"
The Host waved thanks to the unseen announcer. "Thanks, Bob! Now, for those of you who don't know how the game is played--which is everyone, because this
is the first episode of our show--here's how it goes. We're preselected questions for our lovely lady to ask the Bachelors. She asks, they answer, and she picks who has the best answer. Whoever she picks advances to the next round free. The others have to face a threat to life and limb! Anyone who survives gets to go on to the next round. Anyone who doesn't will be made into Soylent Dog Food. Soylent Dog Food, for when your dog is hungry enough to take a bite out of you! In stores now!"
