ng_mojoverse:
"Crap, crap, crap,
really bad crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, porn, crap, crap, crappy porn, crap, crap, crap.."
Each of the words was punctuated by a click of a remote and the changing of a channel. Mojo, supreme ruler of the Mojoverse and master programmer supreme, sultan of the air waves, tip top tv exec, and the person responsible for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show, was not happy.
"Why are my ratings
DOWN?!" he bellowed. He looked left. He looked right. And he realized that there was no one around to listen to his rantings. "DOMO!
DOMO! DOMO!"
"You bellowed, oh bulbous one?" Major Domo, his majordomo asked, appearing behind him with enough quietness that the great Mojo was forced to jerk in surprise.
"What have I told you about sneaking up on me?!" he demanded.
"I was making plenty of noise, oh supreme one. Doubtless you were simply engaged in creating superior programming and did not hear me."
"Yes, well... yeah, I was. But
why are my ratings DOWN?!" He gestured toward the tvs. "I mean, I've got people out there readings books! Dead trees! And this FaceSpace and myBook and tweeter-de-dee?! What's wrong with these people?! Why aren't they watching?! I need a new show. I need inspiration. Something that will really put the butts back in the seats. And then something that will keep them there. Maybe some kind of glue... Domo, look into super-glue suppliers. Tell them we'll take everything they have. Literally. Or else I'll send Spiral after them!"
Domo sighed. He was used to dealing Mojo's moods. And he knew just the thing to bring him out of it. "If I may offer a suggestion, oh Video Master?"
Mojo seemed unresponsive, so Domo took the initiative and waved a remote in front of his face, large yellow eyes following its every move. He turned the TV on.
"As you can see, the X-Man called Rachel Summers is engaged in quite the romantic conundrum. Three different suitors, three different demographics. The Prince, the Bat Boy, and the Furry. You could get quite the audience draw with them."
"No, no, no!" Mojo ranted. "That's a terrible idea! We need something
good! ...Wait, I've got it! We'll kidnap the Summers girl and her three boy toys, throw in one of our own, put it on TV. Call it... Who Wants to Marry a Mutant! We'll make millions! Make it happen! GET ME THAT PHOENIX!"