"Got it, we're in your mom's basement. Speaking of which, most people who say 'statistically most people our age...', statistically speaking, never, ever fucking get laid. So, ok, why don't you guys run along and tell mommy and daddy that the girl in the basement would like to know why she's here and why she's tied up. If you're going to tie me up like bondage Barbie, you could at least get me some nice fetish wear. I feel so totally unstylish like this."
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