Uchiha Madara (kakumei) wrote in itai,
@ 2009-09-28 00:59:00

I need... some advice.

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	kakumei 2009-09-29 05:40 am UTC (link)
	Yours sounds high-strung, violent. Though you seem to be fairly relaxed. How's that working out? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 07:13 am UTC (link)
	Opposites attract? I really have no idea why or how we stay together but it works. We fight all the time, we make up later on the day. It's... okay I don't know but it works. The last time I got too comfortable with someone I cheated on my soon-to-be wife so maybe that is why this is working well. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 07:15 am UTC (link)
	Are you afraid of cheating on him? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 07:19 am UTC (link)
	There are a lot of things I am afraid of. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 07:22 am UTC (link)
	If you love him, you'll never cheat on him. He should be the only one you want. Why are you afraid? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 09:32 am UTC (link)
	I loved her, I wanted only to be with her. And all it took was one drink too many and it ended it all. It is something I have guilting me forever. No matter how much I love someone, will I do it again? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 09:36 am UTC (link)
	That's rough. If all it took was drinking to make you cheat, then it seems more like you're trying to blame alcohol for cold feet. If you think you loved someone then cheated, that's not love. Like I said, you want them and only them. If you think you'll do it again now, you don't love that man. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 10:57 am UTC (link)
	Not another woman or man have I looked at since. It hasn't even been a thought in my mind about anyone else and when I'm not with him, he is all I think about. But he would just call me a hopeless romantic. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 11:02 am UTC (link)
	Obviously he likes that trait. The hopeless romantic. I get that way, too. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 11:04 am UTC (link)
	Positive response on your end? Not everyone likes it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 11:08 am UTC (link)
	I think he does. He never stops me, even when I get carried away. I... like stories, inspirational things. He likes to hear me talk about grass, and trees, and flowers. He'll let me be cliche to him and just smile. So I don't think he minds. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 11:11 am UTC (link)
	Do you ever feel insecure with him? Worried that one day they will just get bored of you and leave? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 11:13 am UTC (link)
	No, never. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 11:16 am UTC (link)
	That is good. Because the one thing I have noticed, if you were friends beforehand, if you break up, you won't get that back again. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 11:18 am UTC (link)
	We're closer than friends, closer than lovers. I've never felt insecure. Why do you doubt yourself so much? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 11:25 am UTC (link)
	I don't mean to doubt you but are you really sure? Because there will be always someone that will come in between be it friends or family. If you can say that it's an unconditional love that you will fight for over your own relationships and his own then, I admire you. That would take guts. Too many reasons to explain. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

kakumei
2009-09-29 11:29 am UTC (link)

Even if the one person who could disapprove does... It wouldn't matter. I can't spend my life trying to make everybody approve of us, because there's a lot of problems with it by an outsider's view. But for us, it's perfect. I'll fight for him, I'll fight for us. I've made up my mind about that. If it comes down to the world against him and I, then I'll have a whole lot of people to beat up.

I've got time to listen.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 11:49 am UTC (link)
	I am envious. That would be a perfect love. Your partner is very lucky. Better not to. I would sounds like a woman. Must keep some manly pride left in me. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 11:51 am UTC (link)
	Not all love needs to be perfect to have meaning. You don't get manly pride when you start a conversation based off blowjobs. Let's hear it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

devilswalknstik
2009-09-29 12:14 pm UTC (link)

Still envious.

He doesn't really share his feelings unless he is angry with me so I don't know what he is thinking. He says it's love but he has never felt it before so what if it's not. What if its just infatuation that he is feeling because someone cares for him for who he is and not the position he has. I'm scared that he will just leave, go to someone else, I won't be needed anymore. I don't know if I could handle it if I lost him, even as a friend. Can something born from hate last forever? I can't even tell him how I feel because he would just laugh and you know, I know what he is like and I will be there no matter what little problem he has. I just wish I knew what he really felt. If he does feel insecure around me. It could be true what he is feeling but I want to know what he feels in return, because isn't that what it is all about? Mutual trust. I want to be there for him and at times, I don't know how to be.

... So now lets talk about blowjobs again.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 12:42 pm UTC (link)
	Even if he's never felt it before, the first time is the strongest, isn't it? I'd say to have more faith in him, but I don't know his side either. Doubting won't get you anywhere if you keep it inside, though. Again, I'll repeat your advice and tell you to talk it out. What would you like to know about blowjobs? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 12:55 pm UTC (link)
	I think I have to. I don't want to feel this way at all. Why porn makes it look so unattractive for starters. Then just move onto how I'm not going to throw up would be good. How to make sure he is going to enjoy it. This is pointless. Maybe if I get him really drunk first. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	I wish you luck with that. It'd be good if you didn't throw up, yeah. If you do, then I think you can count on not getting any sex for a while. Thought I wouldn't recommend getting him drunk. Don't need to risk him throwing up on you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	devilswalknstik 2009-09-29 01:09 pm UTC (link)
	... I'm doomed. I think I need to watch more porn now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kakumei 2009-09-29 01:10 pm UTC (link)
	That, too, may make you sick. Isn't confidence one of those overwhelmingly attractive things? Be brave, soldier. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)