boosted_gold (boosted_gold) wrote in dc_nextgen,
@ 2013-06-09 01:36:00

Entry tags:

Due (Matrimonial) Diligence
So... getting married. It was a thing now. A thing that was actually going to happen, not at some nebulous far off point in the future, but within the year. Riley and Dinah didn't want some big drawn out engagement. There'd been vague discussions of dresses and guests lists and venues, but Riley was really on the fringe of all that. Oddly enough, Uncle Ted and Dad had taken over most of the planning, with various interventions by Aunt Sue.

Riley and Dinah, for their part, knew that pre-marital counseling was a sound idea, so they'd checked with Ruth about the idea and set up a schedule. Riley was meeting with her first, before Dinah's session, and then both of them.

So he's waiting in his usual room at the Tower, a few healthy snacks and drinks on hand out of gratitude to Ruth, along with a small gift-wrapped box as a thank-you present.

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	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-10 12:55 am UTC (link)
	"If we were signing up for anything, yours would be first in line, Ruthie." Riley grins. He just looks positively glowy, squeezing Dinah's hand, as Ruth continues. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both bwa_ha_ha 2013-06-10 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	Dinah gave Riley's hand a squeeze in return. "Sounds pretty good," she said. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both whydowescream 2013-06-11 02:24 am UTC (link)
	"So...how would you say you two handle disagreements?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-11 09:44 am UTC (link)
	Riley blinks. "I.. can't really think of any disagreements we've had." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Both

bwa_ha_ha
2013-06-11 10:16 pm UTC (link)

"We've had disagreements," Dinah amends. "Usually nothing big, though. Just usually over whether something's a good idea or not. We run back and forth on what could go wrong, the possibility of those things going wrong, and one or the other of us gives in.

...Sometimes in exasperation.

But then we kiss and make up. Even if... especially if, it blows up in our faces."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both whydowescream 2013-06-11 10:20 pm UTC (link)
	"Okay. Definitely worse ways..." So far, at least, none of this is going like her father's confidential horror stories. "Though a precedent of 'whomever is more annoying about it wins' isn't totally the best way either, admittedly..." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-11 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	"Sometimes she shows me her boobs to win, but I really think that counts more as an amiable compromise." Riley explains. "And to be fair, there's a few times I've pretended to drop something by accident." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both whydowescream 2013-06-11 10:26 pm UTC (link)
	"And ah, yes. That. Are you two on the same page as to what you expect from the physical end of the relationship? I don't need details, just checking on your communication." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both bwa_ha_ha 2013-06-11 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	That got a bit of a grin. "Oh, I think we're real good on that part." Even if Khaji occasionally commented on things like 'increased hormone levels' and the like. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-11 11:23 pm UTC (link)
	"Yes. Very good. Definitely on the same page." Riley keeps it brief. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both whydowescream 2013-06-12 07:01 pm UTC (link)
	"Okay, dramatically switching gears, how are things with your respective families?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-12 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	"Can't complain. Dad's arguing with Uncle Ted all the time about the wedding plans, but Aunt Sue deals with them okay. Nothing new with Mãe." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both bwa_ha_ha 2013-06-12 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	"About the same," Dinah said. "Once we convinced Dad I wasn't pregnant, anyway. Right now, Mom's just sitting back and letting Dad and Uncle Mike make fools of themselves. "Really, I think everybody knew this was coming sooner or later. It was just a matter of when. Dad apparently owed Mom fifty bucks over it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both whydowescream 2013-06-12 09:48 pm UTC (link)
	Ruth nodded. "And how exactly do you two feel about the 'inevitability' factor?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-12 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	Riley furrows his brow. "About... dieing, or do you mean something else?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both whydowescream 2013-06-12 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh, well, dying is actually something to address before we're done, yes, but no, not asking that yet. I mean amongst all the 'it was going to happen sooner or later's... are you feeling any pressure, for instance?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both bwa_ha_ha 2013-06-12 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	"What? No, definitely not," Dinah said. "I mean, yeah, I think pretty much everybody predicted we'd get together, but that, all of it, this, has always been our choice." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-12 10:11 pm UTC (link)
	Riley nodded. "It's always felt very natural. I've never consciously imagined myself with anyone else." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Both

whydowescream
2013-06-12 10:14 pm UTC (link)

Ruth starts to nod, then looks at Riley and sort of stops nodding, then sits thoughtfully for a moment.

"Okay. I don't want you to think you're in a Zoroastrian wedding, with three separate formal declarations of being here by your own free will, so I'm going to move on in a second, but let me just say, Riley, that having never consciously thought of anyone else isn't what makes a relationship 'natural.' Variety in thoughts and feelings is perfectly healthy."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both bwa_ha_ha 2013-06-12 10:26 pm UTC (link)
	"Avs and Petra always did used to joke that Riley was "Dinah-sexual,'" Dinah admitted. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Both

whydowescream
2013-06-12 10:35 pm UTC (link)

"And that's fine, in that monogamous is an okay thing to be, and embracing what you like best is nice, and all that, but constantly falling back, in discussion, on how very much you don't want anyone else isn't quite the best way to address stuff like whether you're ready. And people who aren't total unifemini, to paraphrase the Romans, can have healthy and natural marriages, too. That's all I'm saying."

A breath. "Now, let's talk about kids, and plans. Riley, you were... pretty specific. Have one biologically and adopt one. Dinah, you were more fluid. And that's fine. I'm just wondering a few things."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-13 12:46 am UTC (link)
	Riley listens to that, and nods slowly. "I understand." He turns to Dinah as Ruth brings up kids. "My preference would be to adopt at least one, but I'm okay with whatever you are. I just think of how Dad and Rip took in Rani, and I'd like to be able to do that for some other little kid." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both bwa_ha_ha 2013-06-13 12:56 am UTC (link)
	"Hey, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only voice in this," Dinah assured him, taking his hand. "I know what that means to you." "If you think we should, I'm inclined to think it's a good idea." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Both

whydowescream
2013-06-13 01:42 am UTC (link)

"Right. You don't have to make all your decisions right now, as long s you're willing to talk about it, and to realize that plans don't always work out perfectly, loath as I am to say it. There could be fertility issues on the biological end, there could be bureaucratic issues on the adoption end. Plenty of stuff to potentially have to roll with, and even though it's planning a ways ahead, always good to keep in mind exactly how you're going to raise your kids. What you want to make sure they understand is important, how young is too young for various things, all that. And part of those things dovetail with a slightly more immediate concern: money. New Jersey isn't a community property state, but you still have to decide things like whether you want to write out a financial agreement, legal or otherwise."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Both boosted_gold 2013-06-13 01:46 am UTC (link)
	Riley gives Dinah's hand a squeeze. He'd never really thought about any kind of issues like that. Everything just seemed to fall into place with her. "I'm not concerned with that, but I'm open to it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)