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"You can always trust me," Tatum assured her quietly, wanting to just leave it at that. Whatever momentarily lapse she had experienced in judgement, it was over now. She couldn't leave Mackenzie, she had tried and it was far too hard. There just wasn't any way that she could pull it off. The blonde's emotional admissions weren't helping either. Her heart felt like it had a constant skip in it, jumping in her chest every time Mack said something particularly sweet, or even brushed up against her.
She managed a little sniffle, reaching up one hand to rub her eyes absently, cracking a weak little smile. "I'm fine, it just-- it's kind of stupid, but that's like, you pretty much just looked inside of me right now and f-found this thing, I'm l-like.. most scared of. T-That's exactly the kind of shit I'm so s-scared of. I can't even look my own parents in the e-eye anymore, and I just.. I don't know. Frankie thinks I should tell them. I think she was mad that I d-didn't and now she like.. doesn't e-even care, she's just so over it, and I like wasted m-my chance to tell them cause I was just scared," Tatum explained, trailing off to wipe her eyes again as they were already swelling up with tears all over again.
"L-Like parents are supposed to love you unconditionally, right? But like, they can only t-take so much. I'm a-already a shitty student beside Sera, so n-n-now I'll be stupid and gay!" she managed, squeezing Mackenzie's hand tightly as she spoke. She tilted her head back a bit, hoping the tears would just go away, wouldn't actually slide down her face. She never really talked to anyone, outside of Sera, about the fears she had so associated with their parents. Loving and generally accepting as they were, they were pretty traditional and serious people. There was no way Tatum could even imagine how to word her coming out, let alone actually go through with it.
What did she say? What did she do? And even once she figured all of that technical bullshit out, even if it was perfect, what if they flipped? She didn't think she could handle seeing Frankie, or any other girl she cared about, dragged out of her house. She was pretty sure it would kill her; Mack was even stronger than she had realized to have dealt with that. Tatum was sure she would just shut down, possibly die alone for fear of ever dating again.
"She still t-talks to you though. Right? She doesn't t-totally.. hate you, I mean. I think my dad would. I think h-he'd definitely hate me," she muttered, her face pressing into Mack's sweater, burying against it softly. She was getting a few tears on it, but she didn't think the blonde would mind. The sweater smelled even more like Old Spice, and that amused her, making her crack a smile despite herself. Even with emotional topics on the table, she was so glad to be back with her best friend, talking to her, being beside her, just being around her. "You're very entertaining. I won't like.. be bored anymore. I still like.. have that whole series box-set of Buffy that Rath got me for our birthday. We never watched that yet," she suggested, still managing a little smile. "Sarah Michelle Gellar really gets her sexy on in that show, like.. goddamn."
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When Mackenzie spoke again, it broke the humorous mood Tatum had been trying to bring them back to, and she felt that tense feeling in her chest again, the butterflies in her stomach. She almost wanted to punch herself in the gut to make them stop. "S-Sexy? Uhm, I don't.. is that a new synonym for painfully awkward?" she asked. Had Mack really been the same as her? Locked away in the same place, just moping around? She had never seen Mackenzie caught up over a girl, and still the idea seemed to foreign to her. She didn't get why. She had no doubt the blonde would get tired of her bullshit eventually, but it was nice of her to try not to. Everyone did eventually. Frankie did, and Mack was just a matter of time.
"I'm glad you won't t-though.. beat her up, I mean.. cause like, I don't know if I could t-take you down like that again," the redhead admitted, cheeks flushing a bit in the darkness as she lifted her head to look at Mack. "That was a total fluke, you let me get you down," she added, corners of her mouth twitching slightly as Mack toyed with the ends of her hair. She tilted her head a bit, cheek brushing up against the older girl's fingers. "I'm not a good person. If I was a good person, then I wouldn't like.. have had anything to come clean about," she murmured.
"Definitely not the best person in the school," the redhead confirmed. If she was a good person, a good girlfriend, she wouldn't even be back in this position. She wouldn't be so close to the blonde, trying to keep as close to her as she could get. She swallowed thickly, tucking her head away under Mackenzie's chin again, and burying her face close against her shoulder, listening for that heart beat again. "If I w-was honest and good, then you w-wouldn't be here," she admitted, swallowing again and tipping her head a bit, pressing her lips against the side of Mack's neck, feeling the pulse there. It made her own pulse race like crazy. "D-Don't go though, okay?"
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Mackenzie frowned as Tatum spoke about her biggest fear, it killed her to think about the little redhead obsessing over such a terrible thing. She had been worried when she had started dating Abigail that Kate wouldn’t approve, but she mostly kept if from her mother so she wouldn’t have to deal with the meltdown. Adam had found out much in the same way, except they had only made to heavy petting on his couch when he walked through the door. Her father had just laughed and told them to get a room before walking back towards his office. All in all though, she knew how much the redhead’s parents meant to her, and how much the girl could loose.
“Babe, it’s not stupid,” She reassured the redhead, hugging her tightly. There was that damn word again, just slipping out of her mouth. She was pretty sure that was why she had made up so many different little nicknames for the redhead. If she had a cutesy but friendly nickname to blurt out in its place, then she wouldn’t let things like that slip. Of course, now that everything had happened it was just impossible to censor herself anymore. “And you’re not stupid either. But you’re totally gay, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Sorry,” She mumbled quietly. “Anyway, it’s like, a legit fear, okay? I never really had a great relationship with my mom so it wasn’t as big a deal for me, it was just another reason to hate her. But I know how awesome and loving your parents are. I know how much you would die if they ever did anything like that to you.” She pulled the redhead a little closer, rubbing her back comfortingly. “You don’t have to tell them until you’re ready. Like, even if they do find out before then, you’re never alone, got it? You can always come to my place, Kate will barely notice and Kia adores you. She’d love to have someone who actually cares to ramble about being a mediwitch to.”
“If your dad like, ever hates you because of who you are, then I’ll go talk to him.” She said firmly, squeezing Tatum lightly. She wouldn’t let Tatum end up losing her parents, especially not because of who she loved. She was sure that Mr. Donnelly would come around, even if he was upset to begin with. “I’m sure with some convincing he would come around if he wasn’t okay with it right from the start. He’s a good guy, your dad. I mean, even Kate came around eventually. Not that she ever said it to my face, but she stopped making cutting comments a while ago and just gives me looks sometimes. Quite an improvement, although I suspect that Kia might have said something.”
She just laughed and nodded in agreement when Tatum started going off about Buffy. It would be one of those things that she would watch just because Tatum got so excited about it but probably get really into it in the end. That always happened when they ended up watching the nerdy things that Tatum enjoyed, Mack wasn’t sure which part she enjoyed more about watching them. The actual show, or seeing Tatum revert into the nerdy little freshman she had made friends with. The same one who would play World of Warcraft for three days straight and not leave her desk. Even if Tatum thought she was awkward, there was just something about the girl that Mackenzie found sexy, WoW and all. She couldn’t really explain it to the redhead though, especially not without making her feel awkward, so she decided to let the subject drop.
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“Well, I did let you hit me,” she admitted, although she was sure that Tatum already knew that. “I didn’t expect you to get me down like that though. Good job, by the way. That was a smart move.” She grinned at Tatum, she had been so proud when the girl had knocked her over like that. “And you have a wicked left hook Tat, I think I’m still a little bruised from it. I don‘t think I want to get beat up by you again any time soon, learned my lesson.”
She was going to tell Tatum that at least she was honest about what she needed to come clean about, and that still made her a pretty good person. Or at least someone with good intent. It was true though, she wouldn’t have been able to be this intimate with the redhead if she was truly one hundred percent with Frankie. Mackenzie wanted to ask why she had let her do this then, why did Tatum continue to allow her to called her “babe” and hold her like this? Why did she let her kiss her on the forehead and return the favor? Why did she then say they were bros, after tangling their fingers together? It just didn’t add up for the blonde, she was confused as hell. There were just too many mixed signals.
That was when she felt the kiss on her neck, and her brain stopped asking so many questions. She bit her lip, feeling the redhead’s lips on her bare neck, she was trying really hard not to let Tatum know how much that little thing had effected her. A small whimper escaped her lips, and she hoped to god that Tatum hadn’t heard it. She was sure that the redhead did however, it was dead silent in the room. Her heart was pounding out of her chest, and her self control was hanging by a thread.
“Tatum,” She warned, swallowing roughly. She was trying to formulate the words to tell the redhead that she couldn’t do that, because then she would have to kiss her and she didn’t think she’d be able to stop this time. But what if Tatum really did want her to kiss her? Could she honestly look back at this moment and not regret making a move on the redhead? Hunter kept telling her just to go take what was hers or forget about it.
She had to know for sure if there was anything in this for her redheaded friend, she could forget about it and move on if there wasn’t, but if there was? She shifted back so she could look at the redhead, cupping her cheek with her hand. This was becoming all too familiar, at least this time Tatum hadn’t hit her. Yet.
Rubbing her thumb across Tatum’s cheek, she looked into her eyes searching desperately for an answer to all of her questions. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” She said quietly, scooting so she was a little bit closer to the redhead. She pulled Tatum’s face to hers and pressed her lips to the other girls, praying that Tatum wouldn’t push her away. She wasn’t sure if she could handle it if she did.
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Tatum barely even flinched when Mack called her babe again, just exhaling heavily against the blonde's neck, eyes still closed. The hug felt nice, and she was limp to it, just wanting to be held and comforted. She didn't know how their roles had switched back to normal again, but this felt much more natural. She was supposed to be the weak one, and Mack would keep her strong. The redhead had been a fool to think it could be any other way. "Okay, I guess I-I'm like.. not that stupid. But the gay thing isn't exactly like, fireworks and confetti in my family," she muttered sullenly.
The hand rubbing over her back calmed her down significantly, and she relaxed even more into the arms around her body. "You'd smuggle me into your house?" she asked curiously, chin resting onto the blonde's shoulder as she spoke. Mack's house was an extravagant jump from the modest home that her own family lived in. It might be nice to wake and bake poolside. If her parents kicked her out, at least her whole existence wouldn't have to be pathetic. There would still be weed and the gated community in upstate New York to look forward to. And Kia was a generally a nicer sister than Sera had ever been on any given day. "I guess that wouldn't be so bad," she relented. It was still scary to think about coming out to her parents, but it was good to know she wouldn't be entirely homeless or something. Shit like that happened all of the time to people.
She knew if push came to shove, Mack really would fight for her. She'd bring her home even if Kate did say 'no' to it, and Tatum knew she would get her way, probably with Kia's help. Mack really would probably go and try to reason with her father, if it ever came to that. It brought that ache into her chest again, the indecision tearing at her all over again. This was her best friend, and she didn't know why she was getting so sappy, except that she knew exactly why. That was the part that was the worst. She might have constantly shrugged off Mackenzie's advances as if they were poison, but there was no sense in denying her attachment to the girl. More so, her attraction to her.
The idea that Mack could feel anything for her, the way she claimed, still seemed like fiction. How could something like that be true? Girls like Mack didn't fall for people, and they certainly didn't fall for plain-jane little redheads with no social skills. Tatum had always admired Mackenzie, maybe even tried to learn by a few of her examples. Her affection for sunglasses had come from the girl at least. But before Frankie, she had admired Mackenzie in an entirely different way. That first year, that freshman year, she would have dropped dead to get the time of day from Mack.
Date after date, she was the friend, listening and scrunching up her face in all of the right parts of the story. Telling the other girl she was gross became habit during this time. Never, back then, could she ever imagine them where they were now. When they had grown up? When had Mack decided she was this amazing saint of a person? Most of all, when did she stop noticing all of the amazing things about her own best friend? How did she let things get so messed up? Things were a mess, and knowing what she wanted seemed like a lengthy task.
Tatum was pulled out of her reverie when Mack admitted to throwing the fight, as if Tatum didn't already realize that. She cracked a wide smile and gave the front of the blonde girl's hoodie a little yank. "You fucking jerk off," she chided, although the praise felt nice. It wasn't like a move she pulled in a fist fight was something she got complimented on often. "I fuckin' showed you.. but I learn from the best, right?" she joked, reaching her hand up to brush across the cheek she had gone after in the fight. She hadn't noticed a bruise in the darkness, but if there was even a hint of one in the morning, she would heal it. Whether Mackenzie wanted her to or not, it was as irrelevent as ever.
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She tensed her own body in response when the whimper escaped Mack, seeming to echo across the darkness between them. It made Tatum's breath catch in her throat, and it took a few moments before the younger girl to manage a shaky exhale. "Uhm," she began, barely a whisper. She could hear Mack's heart again, louder than ever, like it was trying to jump right out of her chest. She was pretty sure her own heart was doing the same thing. It had been a simple gesture, almost friendly, but there was no denying the intensity of their movement. They had both felt it, and Tatum's stomach felt tied in a thousand knots as a result.
Her head shot up when Mackenzie spoke her name, her eyes probably as wide as saucers as she did. She was trying to stay calm, but there was no denying the feelings now, there was a charge building between them and she didn't think they could stop it. Her hand, still held by Mack's, gave the other girl another squeeze. She wanted to reply, but words were quite beyond her.
All at once, Mack was propping herself up, shifting around the bed, pulling the blanket half off of them. She felt the hand on her cheek, and squinted that eye a little in response, a weak smile crossing her lips as she looked up at the older girl. The thumb drifted across her skin, and she found herself tipping her head against the blonde's hand, looking seriously at her despite the little smile. Mack was looking at her so closely, looking for something, but Tatum had no clue what to offer her. When Mack finally spoke, Tatum was closing her eyes and trying to breathe deeply.
"Kay," she blurted, without really thinking of it. She felt weak, used, and exhausted. There was really not much fight left in her over this. They were going to kiss, and she should have known it was going to happen before Mack even got here, before they even climbed onto Bekka's bed. She had let it get this far, and she couldn't hurt another girl. She had hurt Frankie, she had hurt Mack before, and now Mack was laying herself out all over again, and she couldn't hurt her a second time. She also couldn't deny that she didn't want to fight it. Mack's lips were on her before she had much of a chance to give it a second consideration, but there was.. surprisingly nothing wrong with it.
Other than the obvious moral ramifications, or the guilt she was sure that would drag her stomach down for the next part of forever, it was actually really nice. She lifted a hand, lazily resting it onto Mack's shoulder, squeezing it as she was kissed, and she found herself kissing back, leaning in hungrily. When was the last time Frankie had just kissed her? Just held her? It was wrong, but she needed it, sinking further into Mackenzie's arms around her.
The blonde's lips were soft, the bottom one just a little rough, probably busted by Hunter recently or something. That wouldn't surprise Tatum a bit. She kissed it lightly, sucking at it, and her hand moving of it's own accord, sliding down off of the older girl's shoulder. There was a moment of hesitation, which seemed to last forever for Tatum, before the hand kept going, grazing just lightly over Mackenzie's breast through the over-sized hoodie. She didn't feel like she was wearing a bra, and Tatum felt her stomach plummet down into her legs, making her shudder. What the fuck was she doing?
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“Well it’s not light Kate burst out the rainbow flags or anything,” She laughed, continuing to rub the girls back in comfort. Being a teenager was rough, but having to worry about the possibility of being disowned because of your sexuality made being a teenager even harder. Mack had just decided to deal with it by being an asshole about it to her mother, as was her defense with many things. She knew that Kate might protest to Tatum staying, but she honestly didn’t care. Kate would allow it in the end because Mackenzie would do it anyway, and Kia would probably run damage control for her like she always did. “Of course I’d smuggle you into my house, Kate has already practically adopted Hunter, she might be a right bitch most of the time, but she cares about stuff. You’d have to stay in my room though,” she joked lightly. “Jakie is moving into the guest room and Hunter already claimed the other guest room. Bitch has half of her shit in there, I’m afraid to even look.”
She shifted slightly, getting a little more comfortable and pulling the redhead even closer. It killed her to have to be honest with the redhead, she knew that it would be that bad. Getting kicked out of your home because of your sexuality, there would never be a silver lining for that. She knew that Tatum would be broken if she had to come live with her, even if it would be pretty cool to live together like that. “It’d be bad Tat, I’m not gonna lie to you, but you’ll never be homeless when I’m around. Whatever happens I’ll be right there next to you to help you deal with it, even if you need to pull a Hunter and beat out your frustration on me. You always have me, no matter what.”
“Hey, hey! Easy tiger,” She joked, laughing as Tatum tugged at her sweatshirt. While she had let Tatum off easy by not even trying to defend herself, it still said a lot to her that Tatum would even take her on like that. It was a ballsy move, and Mack could respect that a lot. “Yeah yeah, you showed me kid. Damn right you learned from the best, although I don’t know if I want to teach you anymore. I might end up getting my ass kicked pretty bad if that was what you did after just one lesson.”
She finally remembered to breath when she realized that Tatum had not only completely agreed to the kiss but was actually kissing her back. She could feel the girl relaxing into her and she couldn’t help but smile slightly. There couldn’t have been a happier person at CCI in that moment of time, she could feel her heart almost bursting. Tatum, fucking Tatum Donnelly was kissing her back, was sucking on her bottom lip. She threaded her fingers through the girls red hair and brought her closer, pressing her body into the redheads. It was like heaven, she was pretty sure that she could do something like this all day. She wasn’t sure why Tatum would think she would ever get tired of her if she kissed like this. She ran her tongue along the girls lower lip, wanting to make the kiss deeper.
She didn’t notice when Tatum’s hand started sliding down her shoulder, but she couldn’t suppress a small moan that made it’s way past her lips against the redhead’s mouth. She was extremely glad that she had decided not to wear a bra, she hadn’t thought I would mater but wanted to be comfortable. This was a much better pay off than comfort though, she though, untangling her hand from the redhead’s hair. She grabbed the other girl’s hip and pushed her onto her back gently, rolling so that she was on top of her. She was trying really hard to keep herself in check, it was hard to keep control with Tatum sucking on her lower lip like that. She wanted the redhead so desperately, it was killing her to hold back.
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Tatum's brain was screaming with protest, panicking and stammering reasons for just how wrong this was. Not even that it was Mack on the other end of the kiss, although that was strange enough, but that she was doing this to Frankie. She had promised the world to the brunette, swore she'd never hurt her, told her she loved her. She meant all of it, but how was she supposed to stop herself? Was she really such a bad person?
She had a feeling that she would think so once the haze of the moment cleared around them.
The redhead let out a little whimper of her own as Mack's tongue touched her, and the younger girl parted her lips obediently, her own tongue pressing forward cautiously. The blonde tasted like cinnamon, the same as the gum she always stole from Tatum. It almost made it better, and the shorter girl tried to hold in another whimper as Mack shifted them around. She flopped onto her back easily, looking up at the older girl with half-lidded eyes for a moment.
There wasn't even a moment to spare before Mack was on top of her, and then Tatum was back at it, her teeth fastening around Mack's lower lip briefly, before pressing into another kiss, more desperate this time. She wanted to say something, knew they needed to stop before they went too far into this, but it was what they needed. Mackenzie needed her, and she needed Mackenzie. It was just one night. Tomorrow, she'd have her best friend back, no matter what.
Tonight, this just made her feel safe, feel better. All of the shit going on around them didn't matter for the moment.
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Mackenzie hummed happily as she slid her tongue into the redhead’s mouth, Tatum tasted like weed, and mint, and she loved it. It was one of those things that were extremely comforting, because it was so uniquely Tatum. She tried to ignore the small whimper that the girl had made as she let her tongue dance across the redhead’s. If she let herself get too worked up, there was no way that they weren’t going to go all the way tonight. Deep down, she knew that it would probably kill Tatum to have that happen. Tatum might not have been a virgin but she had (to Mack’s knowledge) only slept with Frankie. Being her second in this situation would ruin everything, even if Tatum didn’t resist her.
Pressing back against the girl once they had settled into their new position, she kissed Tatum back just as hungrily. Every time the redheaded girl attached to her lip like that she felt a little bit more self control slip away, she was pretty sure Tatum was crazy to think that she wasn’t sexy. She slipped a hand under Tatum’s shirt, dragging her finger nails lightly across the younger girls abdomen as she broke their kiss and started kissing down the redhead’s a jaw line to her neck.
Right now everything was perfect, her brain had switched to autopilot. Craig, Kate, the whole messed up situation of her life didn’t matter as she sucked lightly on Tatum’s pulse point. She was careful not to leave a mark, as desperately as she wanted to. It would have made her so happy to make the redhead as her own, but right now wasn’t the right time for that. She kissed up towards the girl’s ear, her fingers drawing lazy circles on her stomach.
‘I love you Tatum Donnelly,” She whispered, her breath tickling the redhead’s ear. She kissed the girl right underneath her ear lobe before lifting her head slightly to look into the girl’s brown eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. I just do.” She kissed the girl again, trying to put every emotion into that one simple gesture, her hand sliding underneath the small of the girls back and pulling her against her.
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Tatum closed her eyes tightly, a low groan escaping her as Mackenzie's nails scraped their way across the skin on her stomach and chest, making the weak muscles there tense up rigidly none the less. It hitched her breath, her hips arching up off of the bed in an automatic response. She felt bad as soon as she had done it, felt worse about how delightful the friction from her shorts against her was.
She licked her lips, they felt a little swollen as she chewed furiously on the edge when Mack's lips worked their way down her neck. So that was why she had been making noises like that earlier. It sent shivers down the redhead's entire body, starting right at the back of her neck, bolting down to her feet. She reminded herself, for not the first or even second time, that this needed to stop.
Another whimper slipped past her lips as Mack began to suck at her neck, and she lifted one hand to gently bat the blonde away. There couldn't be marks, no evidence. She couldn't wear a scarf in the start of Louisiana's summer. "Don't," she warned, though there was no conviction behind it. She felt her move against her ear, the breathing of the older girl making Tatum's heart flutter furiously.
When Mackenzie told her that she loved it, Tatum was dragged back down from the high of everything, reality setting in. Her best friend loved her, truly loved her, and she was leading the girl on. She knew, when this was over, she would go back to Frankie tomorrow. She could joke as she would, but she wasn't ready to break up. If Frankie wanted her, she wanted her back. Who was she to even drag Mack into this? And then for her friend to have such feelings..
She looked back into the other girl's eyes, but her own eyes welled up with tears all over again. "I don't know," she managed, before she was caught in another kiss, and she leaned into it again, arching with Mackenzie's hand. Her arms wrapped desperately around the blonde, clinging to her, half terrified to even let her go. She needed her so bad, but she needed Frankie too, and yet again she realized that someone was going to get badly hurt from this. It was all her fault.
"I h-hate this, I w-w-want this," she whispered, sniffling, kissing Mack lightly again. "I don't even k-know, fuck," she continued, eyes closing to keep any tears from falling. Her arms stayed tight, just holding on.
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Mackenzie knew that she wasn’t going to hear it back from the redhead, and that was okay with her. Love was a big word, and she knew that Tatum’s heart still belonged partially to Frankie. It made her sad but at the same time, the redhead was still kissing her back. She still wanted this and for now, that was enough for Mackenzie. She wasn’t totally out of this game yet, and Tatum Donnelly was kissing her. She had to battle the urge to jump up and do a little victory dance, it would totally ruin the moment. Although it would be adorable to see Tatum sit there and look at her with the disbelieving look she knew the girl would give her.
She kissed the girl softly again, she knew that Tatum was so very torn up about this. It killed her to see how upset the girl was, but at the same time, what Hunter had told her a few nights ago had rang true. She had two options, she could step in at push to get what she wanted or she could duck out of the game. As much as she hated to admit it, Hunter was right, Tatum would pick her if she wanted her enough. Otherwise, she might as well move on.
“I want you,” she admitted quietly, kissing away a stray tear that had leaked from the redhead’s eyes. She rested her head against the redhead’s forehead, trailing a finger around the girl’s waist. She started tracing patterns on the skin of her hip, right above where her shorts were. She slid her leg between Tatum’s and kissed her slowly, this was something to be dealt with delicately. There wasn’t anyway to rush into something like this. She knew it was so wrong, but it felt so right. Tatum could stop her at anytime and she wouldn’t get mad.
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Tatum could have sworn her heart stopped entirely when Mackenzie said she wanted her. She actually meant her, and although she knew it was true, the realization still blew her mind, despite everything else. Frankie aside, family drama aside, Mack wanted her, of all of the girls in Sonnier. In the school even. It was just ridiculous, but it was clear that the blonde wasn't lying. What did she have to gain by lying? Tatum herself would be lying if she tried to say she didn't want her back.
She couldn't find a way to voice it, and just scrunched her face a little as Mack kissed her beside her eye. She opened up, peering at the older girl as their foreheads came together. "Is this even real life?" she murmured, shivering all over as Mack's finger began to tickle just above her shorts. Did she realize how something like that would totally destroy any chance she had of resisting all of this? It was a bad idea, but she couldn't turn back now.
Feeling Mackenzie's leg between hers, the redhead let out another soft moan against the kiss, her hips giving one useless grind against the blonde. It definitely felt real. If she didn't call this off soon, she didn't know how far this was going to go. She had a feeling it was in her hands, and that somehow made her more comfortable, even if guilt was still building deep inside her.
Lifting both hands up, she put one on either side of Mack's face, continuing the kiss between them. "J-Just for tonight, okay?" she managed to whisper, breaking the kiss to get it out, placing a furious series of smaller kisses over the blonde girl's face. "Cause w-we just.. need it, okay? Just for t-tonight," she insisted again, looking at Mack seriously, and surprisingly even herself by giving another arch of her hips against the girl on top of her.
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“God, I hope this is real life,” she whispered eyes closed, cracking a small smile. This was too real to be a dream, or at least she hoped it was. She had never been so honest with anyone, never really bared her soul like that. She was making out with Tatum, told her that she wanted her. If this was a dream she was going to wake up from just because it got good she was going to kill someone. Probably Hunter, because if she was dreaming she knew that she would be on the blonde’s floor when she woke up.
She could feel a shiver running down her entire body to her toes as she felt the redhead grind up against her. The way things were going, Tatum was going to end up with out a shirt on extremely soon. There was only so much the blonde could have dangled in front of her face. Then Tatum’s hands were on her face and she was kissing her back as hard as she could.
When Tatum pulled away from her, Mackenzie made a small noise of protest, attempting to follow the girl’s lips. She was pretty sure that they had special powers of seduction or something. She couldn’t get enough of them, but then Tatum was whispering against her lips and giving her the most serious look she had ever seen. Just for tonight, those were the most wonderful and heartbreaking words. A promise that for tonight, the redhead was hers, and also that tomorrow she would be Frankie’s once again. Mackenzie bit her lip and stared into Tatum’s eyes, she wanted this so bad she wasn’t sure if she could drag herself away from the redhead.
“Just for tonight,” She echoed in agreement, cupping the redhead’s cheek. She planted a kiss on the girls lips, running her fingers through the redhead’s hair and sighing happily. She pulled back slightly to look into Tatum’s eyes again. “You’re mine, just for tonight.”
She caught the girls lips in a hungry kiss, her hand sliding up Tatum’s shirt once again. Pressing her leg into the redhead, she slid her hand slowly up the girl’s torso, stopping once she reached her bra. She gave the redhead’s breast a light squeeze, kneading it. She didn’t care what Hunter said about small tits, they were definitely Mackenzie’s favorite.
"If you want me to stop at anytime, just say so," she panted against the girl's lips, breaking the kiss momentarily. "I won't be angry at all, okay? You're in control here Tat."
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Tatum nodded shakily, never breaking her eyes from Mackenzie's as she spoke. She wanted to make it clear that she was, for all intents in purposes, all right with this. She should have known it was inevitable, no matter how much she protested, she wanted the older girl. Mackenzie herself, as far as Tatum knew, always got what she wanted. If they had this mutual attraction, Mackenzie had all these feelings, and as much as Tatum tried to hold herself under control, things were bound to happen. The blonde was still that brave girl who had seemingly saved her whole world in freshman year, been her hero from then on, and she owed it to the blonde to let at least some of her true affection shine through. Maybe if they got this out of their systems, they could just move on with their lives again for a while before it happened again. They'd be back to their routine.
She could go back to adoring Frankie tomorrow, and she would never speak of this again except possibly under the threat of death. But tonight, she was Mack's.
"I d-don't know if I can stop," the redhead managed, caught in another rough kiss that shut her eyes almost instantly. There was so much that needed to be said through the kiss, and Tatum felt sloppy and inexperienced. Mack was, after all, only the third girl that she had ever even kissed. And one of the other two kisses had been so long ago, she wasn't sure grade-school kisses even counted. She tried her best, occasionally pulling at the older girl's lip again, knowing now that she quite enjoyed that one.
The hand sliding up her shirt distracted her from obsessing over the kiss, as she broke it off, panting briefly before starting it up again, more desperate this time as she arched against the older girl. She felt the hand cup her breast, and she gasped slightly into the kiss, lifting her back a little off of the bed and into the other girl's grip. She had never been told she was in control before, and she didn't even know where to begin.
"Here," she breathed quietly, their kiss broken again, Tatum licking her lips slightly. Her head still felt a little dizzy with the urgency of it all, and she found herself impatient as she reached down and grabbed the bottom of Mackenzie's hoodie, yanking it up roughly and exposing the blonde girl's bare stomach. "Off," she instructed, still breathless, as she continued her task of trying to haul the garment from her friend's body.
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Mackenzie let out a soft moan as Tatum bit her lip again, digging her nails into the girls soft skin lightly. She was extremely glad Tatum couldn’t stop at this point because she was pretty sure that she would die of blue balls if the redhead called it off. “God Tatum,” she gasped, her head swimming. She wasn’t really sure if she could remember her own name right now. “You’re driving me crazy.”
She grinned as she felt the girl arch up to her touch, this was honestly blowing her mind. It was one of her favorite past times, making girls make those kind of noises, and the fact that it was Tatum was even better. It meant a lot more to her this time, this wasn’t just screwing some girl. This was making love to her best friend, it was a completely different ball game.
It surprised her when she felt the girl pull up her sweatshirt roughly, they had always joked about Tatum being a sexual deviant secretly but Mackenzie hadn’t thought she’d be that forward. The blonde thought it was totally hot, especially the way she had ordered her to take off her sweatshirt. She leaned back a little, lifting her arm’s and shimmying out of the over sized hoodie. She shivered slightly as the cool air in the room hit her over heated skin. She paused for a moment, looking down at Tatum and biting her lip. For the first time in her life, she felt slightly self conscious of her body.
“Your turn,” she said quietly, tugging Tatum’s shirt up her body gently. A small blush crept across her cheeks, when the hell did she get so shy?
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Tatum was mostly just in a state of shock. Propping herself up on her elbows as Mack leaned back, she watched closely as the blonde pulled the hoodie off and discarded in somewhere. She hoped her mouth wasn't hanging open or something, but she wasn't really sure either way. Mack looked good, better than Tatum would have even imagined. The older girl had teased her before, threatening to change or strip down in front of her a thousand times in the past, but this was nothing of the same caliber.
Mackenzie Dubinsky was topless. And in her lap.
When it came to real breasts, this was only the second pair she had ever seen. She could hold her own when it came to came to being one of the boys, she had just as much porn hanging around her computer as any one of her fellow bros, but this was completely different, it was real life. This was not only a real girl, but her best friend of all girls.
She snapped out of her daze, eyes only slightly large in the darkness, when Mack spoke to her. Her gaze shifted, from chest to face, and the younger girl managed a nervous little smile. "W-What?" the redhead asked, shifting slightly as her friend began to tug at her shirt as well.
Shit, that was right. When girls had sex with you, you had to be naked too. That was kind of part of the whole deal. Tatum would have much preferred a one-sided exchange, she was more than content to lay back on her elbows and watch Mackenzie as she sat on her half undressed, but the blonde seemed to have other plans.
"Don't like.. f-fucking laugh," she managed, though she did move herself upright, sitting up a bit better in order to squirm her way out of the tee. Once it was off, she gave Mack a momentarily serious look, before reaching behind her back and unhooking her bra after just a few minutes of fumbling. Lesbian or not, those things were a really annoying obstacle to overcome sometimes. At least she had an easier time with her own than she did with Frankie's. It was only luck that the brunette rarely wore one.
She swallowed thickly, bracing herself for laughter, a weird look, something negative. Her eyes searched Mack's face in the way the older girl had done to her earlier, looking for something from her, a sign that this wasn't just a big joke. She was putting her relationship on the line, damaging it terribly, and she couldn't turn back now. If Mack laughed at her now, she didn't know what she would do. Things were too far now.
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“Your shirt,” Mackenzie clarified, pulling it up a little further. Her brain wasn’t quite functioning right, every little bit of skin that was exposed was slowly killing her. She wanted to just rip the shirt of the girl, they could fix it later. That wouldn’t be taking it easy however, and she figured that the ripping each other’s clothes off could wait for another time. “Off,” she said firmly.
She watched intently as Tatum sat up to take her shirt off, her breath catching in her throat as the redhead rid herself of the offending garment. She was pretty sure that her eye’s were as big as saucers as they dragged slowly down the girl’s bare torso. How could she possibly laugh at the redhead? She was breathtaking, Mackenzie was at a slight loss for words for a moment. She gnawed on her lip as she watched Tatum remove her bra, a smile creeping over her face as it was finally out of the way.
“You’re gorgeous Tat,” She said in a low voice her eyes glued to the younger girl. She felt like those words couldn’t even do the girl justice. She raked her eyes over the other girl’s body again, god, it was so nice. “Oh my fucking god, you’re so beautiful. I could never laugh at you.”
She broke herself from her trance and leaned forward to kiss the redhead. She snaked her arms around the girls body and pulled her against her own. She moaned against the redhead’s lips as their bare skin made contact, her brain practically exploding with sensory overload. The redhead’s skin was so soft, so smooth, Mackenzie couldn’t get enough of it against hers. She pressed her hips into the redhead’s, tangling her right hand with Tatum’s. Her other hand pressed firmly against Tatum’s now exposed breast, massaging it lightly.
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Some part of her knew that she should have stopped right there, drawn the line and been done with it. Things had already come too far, and despite the haze of lust that was fucking up her brain, she was still feeling that tugging guilt of the whole thing. Just as soon as her brain would begin to settle and dwell, Mack would do something else and she'd forget what she had even been thinking about besides the sensations in her body. Soon enough, that was seeming to take over her whole mind. Their eyes would meet, and she'd feel that skip in her pulse again, swallowing hard as she listened to the blonde speak.
Everything she was saying, it brought those uncomfortable feelings into her stomach again, right in the pit. She couldn't possibly mean those things, and even if she did, she shouldn't be saying them. They were just meant to be best friends, none of this was part of the deal, but here they were. Just as Mack had realized earlier, she knew there was nothing to do but go forward.
"Shut up," she managed to murmured sheepishly, just a hint of a frown on her lips before Mack was kissing her again, and she was arching her whole body back into the other girl's arms. It felt like reflex now, her arms looping Mack's neck again and holding on, holding them close together. She dropped her hand, Mack's fingers tangling with her own, and she immediately squeezed back, shivers trailing down her spine as Mack's hips pressed against her. It definitely wasn't helping that dull ache she was trying desperately to ignore in her shorts. Goddamnit.
She let out a little moan, breaking their kiss hastily as Mack's hand moved over her breast. She moved her free hand, shorts nails nigging briefly into Mackenzie's closest shoulder. Her hips were moving again, making those desperate arches even as she tried to stop herself. The waistband, already a bit loose from wear, was already sliding over her hipbones, almost to the top of her legs. This was getting too far, but she still couldn't find words to say it.
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This was insane, Mackenzie couldn’t think of another work to describe what was transpiring in the room right now. She had attached her mouth to the redhead’s neck again after breaking their kiss for air, still careful to not leave any marks. Just light bites and sucks here and there. She wanted to feel the redhead dig her nails into her skin again, she’d never pegged Tatum as a scratcher, or they type to allow things to go this far with her, but that was beyond the point. It had made the dull ache between her legs even worse.
In the back of her mind she was still worried that Tatum really didn’t want this, even though she had told the redhead that she was in control, would Tatum really stop her? She desperately wanted to ask if it was really okay for her to do this, she was so afraid of hurting Tatum. She was cheating on her girlfriend for her, it was extremely selfish of Mackenzie to want her to do this.
Tatum could have stopped it though, she could have stopped it several times when Mack had voiced her an option. She could have stopped it when Mackenzie had told her she was going to kiss her, and even now as Mackenzie trailed her mouth over the redhead’s chest, she could have told Mackenzie to stop. It took two to tango, as the old saying went, Mackenzie figured she may as well stop obsessing over making the wrong move and at least enjoy herself. If they were really going to do this she wanted it to be perfect, this was so much more than just a hook up to her.
Removing her hand from Tatum’s breast, she slid it down to the girl’s shorts. They had slid dangerously low thanks to Tatum’s actions and Mackenzie wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand to let them remain on the redhead. Unless of course, the girl decided to stop this. Squeezing the redhead’s hip, digging her nails in lightly, she moved back up to Tatum’s lips and pressed a chaste kiss on them. “Can I?” She asked breathlessly, tugging at the waist band of the shorts to convey what she wanted. Her heart was pounding in her chest, she rested her forehead on Tatum’s again, waiting for an answer.
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There was no sense in trying to turn around now, she might as well just abandon the idea of it, Tatum decided as soon as Mackenzie's forehead rested against her own. She had felt the hand slide down her body, hovering just still over the edge of the shorts, seeming to electrify the skin there. She swallowed thickly, and tried to gather her thoughts, figure out what to do next, but then Mack was speaking to her and she was looking into the older girl's eyes, their faces and lips just a mere few moments apart.
The squeeze on her hip brought another low moan out of her, her chest heaving a little against the blonde above her, and the hand on her shoulder tensing up again. Her nails dug digger as Mack dragged her own over her hipbone, which immediately sent a shiver right down the redhead's whole body. It wasn't fair, Mack seemed to know all of the tricks, and she felt fumbly and inadequate beside her. But she still didn't want to stop. What had come over her? This was supposed to be just a chill night, and now everything was out of control, and why was she loving that so much?
It was sort of like being in a movie or something, it was exciting. Her heart had been pounding the whole time, so hard she thought it might get loose. She could see the thrill in an affair.
"G-Go ahead," Tatum murmured back, managing an only slightly embarrassed smile in return as Mack gave another tug at her shorts. "Don't laugh," she warned again, although by now, she didn't think Mackenzie would. Things were too far to laugh now, the intensity in the air nearly palpable between the heavy breathing and occasional moans escaping them.
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Mackenzie was pretty sure that she could never laugh at the redhead, especially not in the current situation they found themselves in. Didn't Tatum know how cute she was? Apparently she had yet to realized how attracted Mackenzie really was to her. With each inch of the redhead's skin that got exposed, she could feel her heart hammering harder in her chest.
Her hands were shaking slightly as she hooked a finger in the waistband of Tatum's shorts and pulled them down slowly. She swallowed nervously as she finally pulled the shorts away, now Tatum was just down to a pair of underwear. She didn't know where this sudden nervousness had even come from, she hadn't been this shaky since her first time with Abigail.
Letting her eyes wander over the girl once again, she bit back a smile. Suddenly her anxiety subsided, she was really in the clear with this. Besides, this was something that she was good at. She was Mackenzie Dubinsky after all, she had a reputation for a reason. Even if she had changed her ways slightly recently, her history was still intact.
"Cute underwear," She purred into Tatum's ear, teasing Tatum through the fabric. She figured she had one chance to blow the girl's mind and show her that she was the obvious choice. Not that sex was everything, but it couldn't hurt to do it better. "But I'm afraid those are gonna have to go too."
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Tatum couldn't really do much except lay there, her breath hitching in her chest occasionally as Mackenzie's fingers would graze a particularly sensitive patch of skin. Once her shorts were down, and the blonde girl's fingers pressed up to her again, her nails digging into Mack's other hand slightly as she gave it a squeeze in response.
"Laundry d-day," she admitted sheepishly, smiling slowly as spoke so close against her ear, making her shiver and tremble all over again. She really would have ideally liked to be something nicer than a pair of boyshorts if she had known about any of this in advance. Her lack of foresight just left her a little embarrassed. Weren't fancy thongs and lace underwear what people were supposed to have sex in? Something like that.
She felt her stomach practically do a literal flip when Mack instructed her to lose the panties. After that, there definitely wouldn't be going any back. It would be the last straw, and as far as they were, she didn't see a reason to just call off now. It was time to go big or go home, whatever that saying was. "Kay," she whispered, untangling her fingers from Mack's hand, and lowering her hands to rest one on each hip.
Hooking her thumbs into the waist, she arched her hips up and began to slide them down slowly, finding her hands were shaking the whole time. It was hard to be so casual, try to be sexy like that, when really she was just as panicked as ever inside. She could only hope the anxiety wasn't leaking through. If this was going to happen, especially just for tonight, she wanted so bad for it to be perfect, she couldn't ruin it now.
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"I like them," She answered simply, kissing Tatum's cheek. While girl's in frilly underwear always gave Mackenzie a kick, she loved how the underwear was just, so Tatum. The girl looked good in them anyway, she still thought it was sexy. In a very Tatum way.
She leaned back a little, giving the girl some space to wriggle out of her underwear. She was having a very hard time not ripping the underwear off as she watched Tatum inch them down slowly. She watched the girl's hands as the underwear reached the knee and noticed that they were shaking slightly.
Once the underwear was removed, Mackenzie leaned back in and gave the redhead a soft kiss. She didn't want her to be nervous, she knew what kind of anxieties the girl struggled with. She just had to reassure the younger girl, it was part of her job as the girl's protector.
"Don't be nervous," she said quietly, cupping the girl's cheek and looking into her eyes. She drew tiny circles across her cheek, giving it a soft squeeze. "I think you're perfect Tat, you're so gorgeous. You have nothing to worry about, okay? You've already blown my mind tonight."
She kissed the redhead softly again, letting her hand run down her neck and continue down her body. She snuggled into Tatum's side as her hand slid between the redhead's legs, fingers pressing up against her. Her heart was pounding against her chest as she swirled her fingers around Tatum, she was pretty sure she could die happy now.
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"Easier s-said than done," she replied softly, managing a shaky little smile as her cheek was cupped, leaning her head into it a little bit. She wanted to be reassured, and Mack's next words did just the trick. She could do this, she wanted to do this, and it was going to happen. Any anxieties that she had about Frankie, about the next day, about everything, would just have to wait for a little while longer. She was sure, in the harsh light of day, maybe she'd think of this differently. But right now, she just wanted Mack and Mack wanted her.
"Trying not to l-like, over-think this," the redhead murmured, leaning her head up a bit to meet Mackenzie eagerly in the kiss, shivering at the hand moving over her neck and then to her body. She hoped she wasn't shaking as badly as she felt like she was, especially as the blonde's hand found it's destination, slipping easily between her thighs. She groaned a little into the kiss, teeth pulling slightly on the taller girl's lower lip again.
Her own heart was pounding away, just about crawling up her throat and out of her mouth at any moment. It was hard to believe this was happening, but she had lost any desire to stop, to think it through. It was what it was, and she was going to let it just play out. Enjoying herself was all she could do.
Hips lifting again, legs spreading a bit further despite herself, Tatum broke away from the kiss and moved her lips to Mack's neck, leaving a series of desperately short kisses along it, working up along her jawline. "Y-You ready?" she whispered, licking her lips briefly before continuing her kissing, sucking lightly at the blonde girl's throat.
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