Tatum stood rigid at the side of the bed, palms sweating in the darkness as she bit nervously onto her lip. Her arms hung loosely at her sides, hands clenched at the ends. She felt chilled now without her blanket, but she was still frozen in place, couldn't even try to move to join Mack underneath it. She just listened to the blonde ramble, listened to her cry, and felt her own lower lip sticking out, trembling.

She still didn't know what to do, but she had to do something. She knew it was probably killing the blonde to open up like this, to expose her emotions so desperately to her. It almost felt like she was prying. She was glad it was dark, that she couldn't see the tears coursing down her friend's face. She watched her wipe a sleeve over her face vaguely, and for some reason that broke her of the paralysis that seemed to have taken over her body.

"I u-used to cry in the bathroom all the time," she admitted, as if it were the same, as if it might make the blonde feel better. "Before you found me," she continued, trailing off a bit and clenching up her hands again. Kids were cruel, it was just a part of life. She might not have been that scared freshman anymore on the outside, but she frequently felt like her on the inside. Right now was no exception.

"You won't l-lose me, ever, I promise," the redhead managed after a few moments. Her body moved on it's own accord, climbing numbly onto the bed and sliding in behind Mackenzie. She didn't move under the blanket, at least keeping that between them as she scooted up behind the taller girl, doing her best to wrap her arms loosely around her. Mack had several inches on her, she was usually the one getting grabbed and hugged and flung around. But now she had to be the tough one, and she couldn't even physically meet the role, let alone emotionally handle it.

The whole thing was just hard.

"I'm sorry I was.. s-such and asshole, okay? I'm just scared. I'm scared I'm-- I'm just gunna ruin everything. I don't even feel like I know who I am anymore," she whispered quietly, face pressing against Mackenzie's shoulder through the blanket. She swallowed hard, telling herself not to add who I want. That wasn't true, was it?

She could hear Frankie's words, as harsh as they had been at the time. I don't know if I love you enough. It made Tatum's heart ache uncomfortably, and she buried her face further against her friend's back, feeling safer already. She had missed this. What had she been thinking? She decided two things in that moment; first that she would never tell Bekka they had spooned in her bed, and second that she could never tell Mackenzie about the promise she had made to Frankie. The blonde was so raw right now, and Tatum felt like a royal asshole for ever even making the suggestion, for willingly offering to stay away from her own best friend. She just ended up hurting them both.

"I missed you," she breathed, barely audible.