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crescentcity porcelinaofvast | |
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Characters: Tatum and Frankie. Setting: Tatum/Bekka's room, Thursday afternoon. Content: SFW, language and drugs as usual. Summary: After the incident with Mack a few days ago, Tatum can't hold it in any longer and needs to have a talk with Frankie. Tatum wasn't sure what to do with herself to pass time anymore. It was three days now since she had went out to the field to try to fight Mack, and it had now been three days since she had even seen the blonde. She didn't know how to act around her now, how to treat her, how to just let it go. And now every second she was around Frankie, things were even worse, the guilt of holding in the truth weighing down on her. She spent most of the last three days just going to classes and then coming right back to her room. She had been working on strumming out something new on her guitar, but she couldn't seem to focus. The redhead had skipped her afternoon periods for the last two days, the current one included. Other than going to Charlie's to pick up, and briefly visiting Sera to get a CD back, she just didn't feel much like leaving her room. The crying had subsided, mostly. She had taken a few of the ativan that she hadn't given to Apple, but even sitting around in a calm stupor did nothing for her. Whenever she thought about the two of them, about leaving her room for too long, she wanted to cry all over again. And she did. If she was out there, she would run into Mack. If she was out there, she couldn't avoid Frankie's eyes and fake her smiles forever. She could still feel Mack's lips when she thought about it, soft and careful. She had tasted vaguely like cigarettes, the same as Frankie, and that thought brought a painful fluttering to her stomach. She couldn't have both of them, and no matter how this went, no matter what Mack told her to do, somebody was going to end up hurt. There was no sense in avoiding it. She needed to tell Frankie that something was up, and she'd just have to be clean about it. She'd lay everything out on the table, and tell her that if she wanted her, she was her's. There was no other way to approach it. If she lied, trying to avoid or skim over the details, it would only make her look like an idiot in the end. Frankie would know she was full of shit; wouldn't she? Mack always did. Tatum was sprawled out onto her bed, and she stretched an arm up, grabbing her phone from her nightstand and bringing it closer. She hesitated for just a moment, finger held over the touch-screen, before she sighed heavily and began typing out a quick text to Frankie, asking her to come over. She wasn't looking forward to this, but if she had to keep dragging all of this guilt around with her, she was going to have a panic attack or something. Tags: !incomplete, francios prideaux, tatum donnelly
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Shutting up the door behind her, Tatum watched absently as Frankie crossed the room and went to her typical spot. She managed another weak smile, exhaling heavily and trying to resist the urge to scrub her hands over her face. Where did she even begin?
She started at the most logical place, snatching a joint down from behind her ear and lighting up, tossing the lighter over to Frankie's lap when she was done with it. "I just wanted to say I was sorry," she began slowly, chewing her lip slightly. There was no sense in beating around the bush with it.
"You were right. About Mack, I mean. I should have believed you but I figured she just.. I dunno. She acts like that with everyone. I never thought someone like her would like me," the redhead explained, watching Frankie as she spoke, feeling bad even as she said it. "I set her straight though, I-- I even slapped her," she tried to gloat, but felt no pride. "I told her I'm with you and nobody else."
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Tatum gaped at that admission from Frankie. She was pleasantly surprised, and it made her even more anxious to keep telling Frankie what she had to tell her. She tried to keep the surprise off of her face, glancing away a bit before speaking. "Well, she is a fat bitch," she muttered coyly. Her affection for Ginger wasn't going to grow any time soon, no matter how long ago Valentines seemed now.
"I'm not a fighter, and she could have smashed my head in if she wanted to," Tatum shrugged. She didn't know why Mackenzie hadn't. "I think her cheeks bruised?" she offered. It had looked that way when she had walked away, just starting to darken under the edge of her sunglasses.
"That wasn't all though," she continued after a moment, taking another long drag and keeping her eyes on the other girl in the window. "It's not as.. bad as it's probably gunna sound. I just want you to know, like.. honesty and shit. I guess."
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"I was pretty high?" she offered weakly, flinching away from Frankie's rising voice. She felt tense still, and tried to tell herself it wasn't because she still felt guilty. Frankie didn't know that she had momentarily lost herself and kissed the older girl back.
When Frankie jumped up from the window, Tatum jumped up from the bed, ready to plead with her to stay if it came to that. She found herself slightly relieved by the pacing instead. She was shaking just a little as she stepped forward and stopped her girlfriend mid-pace, putting both of her hands onto Frankie's shoulders.
"Don't do anything, please. She's not gunna do it again, I'm definitely not going to do it again. She knows I want to be with you, she told me to be with you, it's over just.. let it go. Just be with me, okay?" she suggested quietly, looking the brunette in the eyes. "I just want all of this to go away so we can be back to normal."
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Tatum tried to keep her expression tough as Frankie brushed the hair out of her face and spoke to her. She heard the words, knew where this was going, but everything seemed to float over her like it wasn't reality. This couldn't actually be happening. She tried to keep eye-contact, but broke it soon after, feeling herself starting to draw in a shaky breath. Her chest felt tight.
I don't know if I love you enough to do this. Well, that was it then, it was out in the open. She did her best to try to think of something to say, but nothing came. Her mouth opened, and then closed again, lips trembling. "I'll d-do anything," she pleaded back, starting to sob a moment later.
She took her hands away from Frankie's shoulders, using them to cover her face instead, trying to calm herself down. "I won't hang out with her a-anymore, I won't talk to her, I'll tell a-anybody you want, baby, please. I'll f-fix myself, I'll be b-better," she offered, hands rubbing her face furiously, willing herself to get it together and at least stop crying. It was making it hard to talk.
It felt like just yesterday that they had gotten together, laying on the beach and laughing about something stupid. But it wasn't yesterday, they had been together a long time now. And now lately, everything was just gone to shit. They were becoming different people. But she didn't know how to be anyone else, someone separate from Frankie. Especially if she couldn't be around Mackenzie, she needed to be with Frankie. "Please? Just o-one more chance. I'll be g-good."
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